It was a dark and story night

Discussion in 'TK Writer's Workshop Archive' started by Love Child, Sep 24, 2016.

  1. Love Child

    Love Child
    Expand Collapse
    One Love

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2006
    Messages:
    15,058
    Likes Received:
    167
    Once upon a time there were three chipmunks in the woods
    They were looking up at the stars one night and it was so peaceful
    but they were getting a little stir crazy
    so they decided to go on an adventure.

    They set out the next morning
     
  2. The Saint

    The Saint
    Expand Collapse
    Insert Witty Title Here

    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2003
    Messages:
    33,522
    Likes Received:
    450
    and found a dilapidated 1947 Ford Motherfucker. When they looked in the trunk, they found
     
  3. 'Gear

    'Gear
    Expand Collapse
    My honor is my loyalty.

    Joined:
    Aug 4, 2010
    Messages:
    11,347
    Likes Received:
    688
    The night was moist.
     
  4. The Saint

    The Saint
    Expand Collapse
    Insert Witty Title Here

    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2003
    Messages:
    33,522
    Likes Received:
    450
    Sultry. The night was sultry.
     
  5. Loktar

    Loktar
    Expand Collapse
    Pinata Whacker

    Joined:
    Aug 1, 2004
    Messages:
    40,312
    Likes Received:
    464
    And the squirrel's nuts were salty. He instantly regretted jerking off onto them earlier that night.
     
  6. The Saint

    The Saint
    Expand Collapse
    Insert Witty Title Here

    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2003
    Messages:
    33,522
    Likes Received:
    450
    The squirrel was quite paralyzed with fear when, after bathing, he discovered that he was covered in hydroxilic acid.
     
  7. Loktar

    Loktar
    Expand Collapse
    Pinata Whacker

    Joined:
    Aug 1, 2004
    Messages:
    40,312
    Likes Received:
    464
    Mutated hydroxilic acid....and thus began the zombie squirrelpocalypse!
     
  8. The Saint

    The Saint
    Expand Collapse
    Insert Witty Title Here

    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2003
    Messages:
    33,522
    Likes Received:
    450
    The zombie squirrelpocalypse was insanely adorable, of course, which is why all the humans were paralyzed with the d'awwww...
     
  9. The Dork Lord

    The Dork Lord
    Expand Collapse
    Whipping Boy

    Joined:
    Apr 30, 2007
    Messages:
    106,792
    Likes Received:
    35
    "Poison the peanuts!" Old Mrs. Druthers would shout: "It's the only way we'll be rid of these damn squirrels! They're far too small to hit with buckshot!"

    Most of the town believed poison to be wholly ineffective against zombie squirrels, and had taken to crushing their cute little heads with boots and rocks, which while cathartic, not a terribly efficient means of disposal. Plus, the risk of infection could be great. No one was eager to see the effects of mutated zombie squirrel DNA on a human.

    Still, the question of what poison would be effective remained...
     
    Loktar likes this.
  10. Love Child

    Love Child
    Expand Collapse
    One Love

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2006
    Messages:
    15,058
    Likes Received:
    167
    It wasn't a poison at all. Predators were more effective.
     
  11. The Dork Lord

    The Dork Lord
    Expand Collapse
    Whipping Boy

    Joined:
    Apr 30, 2007
    Messages:
    106,792
    Likes Received:
    35
    "Dogs" The city cried, "We must have dogs! Free the dogs from the shelter! They will end this squirrel plague!"

    This was naturally good news for Scruffy. As an ageing Black Lab in a high-kill shelter, he knew his days were numbered. But this, this was a chance. He could almost taste the freedom. Freedom, and squirrel meat...
     
  12. NeonMercuryASH

    NeonMercuryASH
    Expand Collapse
    beer, I want beer

    Joined:
    Dec 9, 2002
    Messages:
    10,268
    Likes Received:
    69
    And nuts. Roasted with nuts. It made Scruffy angry. The squirrels were pests and he was locked in a kill shelter. It wasn’t fair. He hoped the rodents had dug up every neatly tended yard in town, giving strength to his weak position. Maybe the suburbanites would need him. Maybe there would be a bone hidden in one of the holes the squirrels dug up.
     

Share This Page