Zombie Hunter
My brain must've been working on a lot of things last night. I forgot a lot of this, but managed to hold onto a couple bits. In my dream I was apparently a regular attendee of a somewhat embarrassing recurring social gathering--and my efforts to fit in there were failing to boot. Well it turns out garamet was also a member of the club and she decided to "out" me online about it--providing play-by-play of my every faux pas from their meetings.

Next thing I know, I'm showing up for work. Only it's my old night job in supermarket reset--I was one of those guys you see in a supermarket, moving stuff around on shelves and you ask what aisle the toilet paper is in and they say "I don't know, I don't work here." We had about a dozen area supermarkets we'd go to on a rotating basis to refresh about a dozen categories on a monthly basis.

Anyhow, I'm heading down to where we're meeting to get our assignments, along with a couple other guys, and the rest of the crew is all lined up, just finishing some kind of pledge/oath while the corporate bigwigs from Canada(!?) were overseeing it. The head dude, who was an arrogant punk was giving me crap for being late. I can't remember if I explained that I was on time upstairs and no one had told me about this oath thing or if I just blew him off (this may have been retconned as the dream progressed). I get the impression that the oath was some progressive/PC thing and the Head Guy is talking with one of his henchmen and the PR/HR girl. One of the other, kind of lefty coworkers wanted to retake the oath when us late people did because he didn't get a photo from the first time, but the head guy goes off on him for interrupting him. Once the huddle is wrapped up they line the rest of us up and we have to pledge fealty to the Constitution of Canada--only instead of in our name, we're supposed to do it in the name of some disease or social cause the company is raising funds to fight/support. I get about a sentence into the whole thing and refuse to do it, instead reciting the Pledge of Allegiance. This pisses PR/HR flack to no end and I tell her I really don't care, they can fire me if they want. They don't so I'm working and getting increasingly mutinous and subversive.

That's around when I woke up.


I want to smell dark matter
I had a series of really long dreams that led into each other, but I can't remember much other than that my best friend from school was Satan in one of them.

Totally agree!

I just don't know who I could call up and be like, "Hey can I just suck your cock for a while? Becuase I really miss cock right now"


Boobie inspector
I was going to some award ceremony but I didn't have any fancy clothes, the woman running the event pulled out a nice suit and shirt from filing cabinet, then told me to get changed in the toilet.

When I went in, all the stalls were in use, but no-one was using the pool table, so I put the clothes on the pool table while I took my own clothes off, then I noticed the suit getting wet, as the pool table was literally becoming a pool.

Then a reporter with a cameraman came to interview me as I am stood there in my underpants.

Woke up at point.


Zombie Hunter
Short but coherent one this morning. I was basically Luke Skywalker and I dug this surfboard-sized hunk of Unobtainium metal out of a sand dune and lugged it back to the garage. The metal was like Odo from Deep Space 9: It could be shaped into different things. I made it into a landspeeder that looked a bit like a shiny black VW microbus or something. There was a switch you had to key to store shapes into memory. Otherwise you had to rebuild them completely from scratch every time.
Had an interesting one last night. I was at some kind of fancy hotel restaurant in Vegas because I was visiting there for the first time ever (still haven't actually been there) and there were multiple conventions going on (which I assume is true; it's Vegas, after all.) Two of the conventions had booked the same hotel for accommodations to sell to attendees. One was NVE (National Vape Expo) and the other was some kind of convention for freakishly tall amazon women and their admirers. I was there to cover NVE.

That's all background. The dream (through which I'm just "understanding" all that background) is that I'm down in the hotel bar/lounge on the ground floor. There's me, my Editor-In-Chief, Managing Editor, and our other staff writer, a young lady. Then I look over and Angela (said 'other staff writer') is leaning against some other woman's KNEECAP, and said other woman is asking Angela which of "her" boys she can have.

Just before it got really interesting, though, I woke up having to take a piss.
Weird amalgamation of details that only make sense in a dream: I'm still in the military, working for some major and I have to be the emcee for a big gala for the Queen of England. There's a speech I'm supposed to deliver from memory, and I'm told the Queen would like it if I wore big pirate boots with my tuxedo. The theater is starting to fill up and I'm going in the bathroom to put on the tux, try to find the boots, and decided if I'll wear the boots or not. (Not. They look absurd with a tux.) I come out to my seat but someone's moved all my stuff out into the aisle and stolen my seat. So I find another seat. This happens a couple times. Meanwhile, after this, I'm supposed to go off and work for another major and there's transfer paperwork going on. Someone tips me off that the guy I work for is a dick that has it in for me and is trying to sabotage me (big surprise there :dayton: )

Finally, everything is ready. The Queen and her people are ready to come in and everything is set up. I still don't have any kind of agenda or list of what's going to happen or who I'm going to announce. I'm asking the organizers for one and they tell me there isn't one. Meawhile, while all this is happening, various random people have started going up to the mic, like a wedding banquet, to say how The Queen has impacted them. They're all old retired farts (and for some reason they're all American, not English--park rangers and plumbers and secretaries, etc). After about the second one I decide to just bite the bullet and start the show, totally winging it. Only just about the time someone starts to wrap up, someone else takes the mic. After about the 6th person, who's terribly boring, I just cut in and take the mic as politely as I can.

(By now I've woken up a couple times, but I want to see where this dream is going and somehow have managed to get back into it.)

I manage to give a fairly well received opening, but I have no idea what's next and who to introduce, so I just keep extending it. Around this point the snooze alarm has gone off and I really can't find an excuse to go back to sleep, so I give up and get up.
Oh, and the bit about time being longer in dreams in "Inception"? Totally true for me. I can have, like, a 4 hour dream in the 5 minutes from when my alarm went off to when the snooze goes. It's the damnedest thing. The majority of the dreams I describe here take place in 15 minutes. 2 hours at the most.
Had a really annoying one. For some reason, the magazine writing work switched from being at-home work to us all having an office. Chris, our Managing Editor, looked like EpicLloyd from ERB for some reason. And I was supposed to write up a review of a pod system that physically made ZERO fucking sense. Pull off the top cap and there's 86 different parts underneath -- none of which is a pod. So I'm sitting at a desk trying to figure out how to fill the damn thing to start using it while EpicLloyd starts rapping about waiting for the fuckin' article. Truly annoying.


Boobie inspector
I was floating at the top of the room, it was taking a lot of concentration to stay up there, and I wanted to get a picture of me flying, but every picture I took on my phone made it just look like I was jumping.

I asked my wife to come in and take a picture with her phone, but she just kept taking a photo of herself looking up at me.

I woke up feeling frustrated.
I think it is leftover cold remnants
or whatever I took this week to help me while I was sick
Plus I think I'm dying whenever I wake up-like that whole cough thing
and wondering if my heart actually did stop or something, so I am afraid to go to sleep
I have this scalp massager and it was just attached to my head, I woke up and threw it off my head, and then I woke up again and it wasn't on my head at all. And now my light is on and I am here and I am chatting with a neighbor
I dreamt that another neighbor was moving in and all of these boxes were in the hallway and I was about to offer to help him move so I wouldn't have to sleep, only that isn't happening
And then I realize where I live-it used to be a care facility-that is some fucked up shit. It usually doesn't mess with my mind, but tonight I was like, "What if there was some fucked up shit going on here?"
I'm fucking living in a place where people died
The neighbor I am chatting with says things like, "Might be her significant other's energy, we broke up a bunch of negative shit tonight that he was going through"

I'm not supposed to believe in that sort of shit, but I kind of do and I'm like, "Direct that shit somewhere else" LOL as I open a window and hope it goes away.
Last night's was odd. Dreamed the government -- but, like, the 1950s movie/tv version of the government -- was calling me on the phone bugging me to use my penis in some kind of government missile program. That shifts (somehow...) into me being on a game show where I have to guess the bra sizes of various women. And I'm goin' great until I get to one woman whose tits are very obviously two different sizes.
A lot of boring little "housekeeping" dreams last night, where my brain was, no doubt, tying up assorted loose ends. The guy who built the database I use at work was actually showing me stuff about how to use it--instead of just dropping it in my lap and then leaving me "alone and unafraid" in the wilderness. Only I've actually got a laptop instead of having to find an office and forage for whatever computer is open and has all the software I need on it. So I'm entering my data, but it's close to quitting time and everyone's trying to leave but me being there is holding things up so I'm told to just close the laptop and leave.--"Don't shut it down, just put it in 'sleep' and finish up on Monday." But "my" laptop doesn't have a case or even a power cord. I'm told not to worry, just leave it on a desk.

There was some other work-related dream, I think, and then we moved on to a documentary on the Titanic--only with the cinematography, casting, and costuming of Cameron's "Titanic." There was a segment on some debuttante who gashed her thigh open on the way to the lifeboats and her ordeal.
He may have been. But only in cameo. Heck, he have knocked the debutante over onto the cleat or whatever gouged her thigh, pushing her out of the way on the rush to the lifeboats.