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It was a dark and story night

Once upon a time there were three chipmunks in the woods
They were looking up at the stars one night and it was so peaceful
but they were getting a little stir crazy
so they decided to go on an adventure.

They set out the next morning

The Saint

Insert Witty Title Here
The zombie squirrelpocalypse was insanely adorable, of course, which is why all the humans were paralyzed with the d'awwww...
"Poison the peanuts!" Old Mrs. Druthers would shout: "It's the only way we'll be rid of these damn squirrels! They're far too small to hit with buckshot!"

Most of the town believed poison to be wholly ineffective against zombie squirrels, and had taken to crushing their cute little heads with boots and rocks, which while cathartic, not a terribly efficient means of disposal. Plus, the risk of infection could be great. No one was eager to see the effects of mutated zombie squirrel DNA on a human.

Still, the question of what poison would be effective remained...
"Dogs" The city cried, "We must have dogs! Free the dogs from the shelter! They will end this squirrel plague!"

This was naturally good news for Scruffy. As an ageing Black Lab in a high-kill shelter, he knew his days were numbered. But this, this was a chance. He could almost taste the freedom. Freedom, and squirrel meat...


beer, I want beer
And nuts. Roasted with nuts. It made Scruffy angry. The squirrels were pests and he was locked in a kill shelter. It wasn’t fair. He hoped the rodents had dug up every neatly tended yard in town, giving strength to his weak position. Maybe the suburbanites would need him. Maybe there would be a bone hidden in one of the holes the squirrels dug up.