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Random Thoughts

You know, I think there's one thing all human beings have in common. Young or old, rich or poor, strong or weak; regardless of color, creed, religion, country...

Every human being enjoys farting. We all love to do it. Maybe we don't like other peoples' flatulence so much, but ask any human, anywhere on the planet, "Do you like to fart?" and you'll get a "Yes", possibly with a grin or even a chuckle to go with it.
Random Thought numero dos: A refrigerator door should not have to be slammed, pinned against the body of the refrigerator, and repeatedly kneed in the balls (metaphor) to be closed.
Random Thought The Third: With Apple deprecating OpenGL in their operating systems moving forward, game devs both small and large are likely to stop bothering to port content to the Mac unless they do it through Vulkan -- and even that seems pretty unlikely.

Therefore, the 2013 iMac will probably not be replaced with a late 2017 iMac but, rather, an HP Omen 880-110. Hate to say it -- hate even more the idea of putting a Microsoft "mandatory updates that have a higher chance than not of bricking your desktop computer for a whole day" Windows 10 machine on my desk -- but deprecating OpenGL and OpenCL instead of, y'know, updating those frameworks was a total bonehead move on Apple's part.
One of these days, I'm going to assemble the Ultimate Flatulence-Producing Meal. Being borderline lactose intolerant, I think I stand a better chance than average of producing some truly awful farts -- with the right fuel, that is.

The right fuel isn't too hard to guess. Start with beans -- canned baked beans, that is. Then about a quart of garlic and onion soup, to give the clouds some extra stank. Half a block of cheese to both invoke the lactose curse (more gas) and bind things up so that gas is all that gets dispensed. About a pint of whole fat milk to really kick the lactose nightmare into overdrive. Then a couple 12 ounce cans of cheap pisswater domestic beer -- regular or "lite" doesn't really matter.

All told, it should take about an hour before this delightful little smorgasbord takes hold. Arrange to find yourself in a place you don't like the idea of when it does. A church. A Wal-Mart. Any place you really want to punish people for frequenting.