"24": Season 24 by Sardy & Sardy's brother

Caitriona

Something Wicked
“24â€
(Season 24)
by Sardy and Sardy’s brother







Episode One BLACK SCREEN.

JACK BAUER (V.O)
The following takes place between
8:00am and 9:00am on the morning of the
CTU Christmas Party.



INT. JACK BAUER’S CONDO. DAY.

JACK is in the KITCHEN. The bright California morning sun pours in through the window.

JACK is surprisingly spry and in excellent shape for a man closing in on seventy years old.

JACK is wearing a shirt and a tie, one arm is through one sleeve of his jacket, a towel is wrapped around his naked legs, half of his face is shaved, the other covered in shaving cream, and a CELL PHONE is cradled in the crook of his neck. In one oven-mitted hand he is holding a Swedish meatball CASSEROLE, in the other a Bic RAZOR. He is wearing fuzzy slippers.

JACK
(Into the phone)
Look, Tony, I don’t care about protocol. What
good’re all those billions of dollars of high-tech
surveillance equipment, decryption software, and spy
gadgetry if we’ve gotta follow protocols?

Look, Tony... I’ll be honest with you here—and this is just
between you and me… I don’t even know what
the protocols are. I don’t follow them…

Just do it. Don’t ask questions, just do it. Yes.
Yes, I will take full responsibility. Okay... Yeah, I’ll hold…



JACK holds the phone for a second.

JACK
Great. Thanks Tony, I owe you one.



JACK drops the PHONE to the counter and puts the casserole into the microwave. He turns on the microwave.

TITLE CARD: 8:01am

JACK
(Muttering to himself)
So, Chloe’s my Secret Santa, eh. Well, we’ll just see about that.



JACK finishes shaving over the kitchen sink, puts his other arm through his jacket sleeve and removes his pants from the oven where they were drying.

Suddenly, a look comes into his eyes as he realizes that he is not alone!

He whirls around, pulling a GUN from the cookie jar on the counter, and comes face to face with—

A SMALL GIRL. In a pink nightgown, she can’t be any older than five or six. She sucks her thumb and holds a TEDDY BEAR in her free hand. She resembles “Little Cindy-Lou Who†from The Grinch Who Stole Christmas. She’s as cute as a button.

She screams at the top of her lungs when JACK points the gun at her.

LITTLE GIRL
Great-Grandpa! Don’t shoot me!



She bursts into tears.

JACK quickly shoves the gun into his jacket pocket, drops to his knees, and embraces the little girl.

JACK
Nina! Nina, Nina… It’s okay… Great-Granpop didn’t mean to scare you…
I just forgot you were here is all… Your great Gran-pop is getting
senile… Do you know what senile is?

NINA
(Cautiously eyeing Jack)
It’s when you forget to put your pants on and
almost shoot your great granddaughter?

JACK
(Muttering to himself)
No, that’s just plain paranoia…

NINA
What?

JACK
Nothing, dear. Nothing. Great-Grandpop didn’t mean to scare you…



Jack puts his pants on. The microwave BEEPS.

TITLE CARD: 8:04am

JACK
Looks like it’s “take a little girl to work†day
at the Counter-Terrorism Unit today.
C’mon. It’ll be fun.



NINA smiles.

CUT TO:

INT CTU. DAY

TITLE CARD: 8:05am


TONY ALMEIDA is standing in the CTU CONTROL ROOM. He is wearing a SANTA CLAUS OUTFIT and WHISKERS.

He looks up with a WRY EXPRESSION on his face over to where—

KIM BAUER is standing across the room, next to an hors douvre table which has been set up. The years haven’t been kind, and she’s put on a lot of weight. She pours herself a very large glass of egg-nog.

Tony walks over to her. In the background we can see that the whole office is decorated for Christmas: Red and green tinsel, stockings, cardboard Santa Clauses, etc.

Tony approaches her. She is wobbly on her feet. He leans in, and doesn’t really look at her while he speaks.

TONY
Party doesn’t start till five o’clock, Kim. You might
want to take it easy on those egg-nogs.

KIM
I’m fine, Tony. I just need to take the edge off a little.

TONY
I know that things haven’t been so good at home—

KIM
It’s got nothing to do with that.
Look, you’re not my father Tony.
I don’t need a lecture.



Now he looks at her in the eyes.

TONY
Jack’s on his way in. I just spoke to him.
So I just wanted to give you a heads up.

KIM
(concerned)
Is he okay?

TONY
(confused)
Yeah, he’s fine.

KIM
Are you sure?

TONY
He sounded okay.

KIM
You’re making me nervous. If something
is happening with my father, just tell me.

TONY
Nothing is happening. He’s fine. He really is.



KIM downs her egg-nog and pours another.

KIM
I hope so.

TONY
(concerned)
Me too.



Suddenly RYAN CHAPELLE enters like gangbusters.

CHAPELLE
Alright everybody in my office. Well, not everybody,
just the main people. Tony, Kim, and Jack.



Tony shares a knowing look with Kim. They follow CHAPELLE into THE CONFERENCE ROOM.

INT. CONFERENCE ROOM. DAY

Tony shuts the door behind them. Chapelle looks angry.

CHAPELLE
Where’s Jack?

TONY
He’s on his way.



Chapelle looks back and forth from Tony to Kim. They both look guilty.

CHAPELLE
Is there something you’re not telling me?

TONY
No. He called and said he’d be a few minutes late.



The look on Chapelle’s face says it all. “You’re snowballing me.â€

CHAPELLE
A few minutes late!? Where is he?

TONY
He was at home when he called. He’s probably in his car now.

CHAPELLE
Probably?

TONY
(defeated)
I don’t know.

CHAPELLE
Alright. After this meeting, I want you to pull up some
satellite feeds. See if you can find him.

TONY
I could just call him.

CHAPELLE
No. We don’t have time for that.

KIM
(serious, scared)
What’s going on?

CHAPELLE
A call just came in from Division. There’s a very good chance
that foreign terrorists are planning to make a clone of Adolph Hitler
today. On American soil. Somewhere in Los Angeles.

KIM
On Christmas Eve?



Tony and Chapelle look at her. Both of then as scared as she is.

CHAPELLE
Now look. We only have nine hours until the CTU Christmas
party. That doesn’t give us much time. So let’s get started.

TONY
I’ll start cross-referencing Hitler aliases with known terrorist groups
and fascist regimes in the Middle East. Kim, you cover North Korea.

KIM
What about Germany? This could be a plot for the
Germans to take control of the world.

CHAPELLE
Cover everything. And do it fast. But remember, we
don’t want the media getting a hold of this. It could
cause a mass panic. In fact, don’t tell anybody about this.
Except people that have to know. Use your best judgment. But
don’t tell too many people. Try to contain this information. Unless
you absolutely have to, then--



CUT TO BLACK

CLOCK COMES UP TICKING: 8:09:05 am

COMMERCIAL BREAK

INT. PALMER’S RANCH. DAY

Palmer is having breakfast with his THREE WIVES: LUCINDA, MARYJANE, AND JANET. He looks happy as a retired ex-president, living on a large ranch in Utah. He sips his coffee, smiles, and--

PALMER
Mmm, mmm. This coffee sure is good. Which one of my lovely
wives do I have to thank for it?



Mary Jane blushes, raises her hand.

MARYJANE
I’m glad you like it, David.

DAVID
I do. You know, I don’t know if I ever told you all this,
but there are very few people that I trust in this world.
And you three are the at the top. That’s why I married you.



They all smile.

The phone rings and Palmer answers it.

PALMER
Yes?

JACK (V.O.)
Mr. President? This is Jack Bauer. I’m sorry to bother you
on Christmas Eve, sir, but there’s something very important
that I have to tell you.

PALMER
Yes?

JACK (V.O.)
Well, it’s actually something I need to ASK you?

PALMER
Go on.

JACK (V.O)
Do you already have one of those rotating tie-racks?
And if you do, is there anything else that you can
think of that you might need… or want… For Christmas, that is, sir.



Palmer looks at his three wives and then out onto the sprawling property of his ranch. Then back at his three wives. Janet is beginning to do the dishes.

PALMER
No Jack. I’ve already got everything I could ever want.

JACK (V.O.)
Understood sir.



CUT TO:

INT. CTU. DAY

TITLE CARD: 8:17am


Chapelle storms about the CONTROL ROOM furiously.

CHAPELLE
Where the hell is Jack?

TONY
Well, the workday doesn’t actually start till 9:00…

CHAPELLE
But it’s…
(He looks at his watch)
Eighteen minutes after I called the emergency meeting!



TITLE: 8:18 AM

Several low-level members of CTU look up from their computers. They hadn’t heard about any emergency meeting.

TONY
He’ll be here. We’ve just got to give him more time.

CHAPELLE
He better be here. And he better be at the top of his game.
No more shooting up in the bathroom, I don’t CARE
how many drug cartel’s he trying to convince—he’s not
pulling the wool over MY eyes. That agent likes his “arm
candy†just a little too much, if you ask me.

TONY
He’ll be here.



Suddenly, the hallway door slides open to reveal:

A blonde-haired, black-mustached HITLER! Several CTU agents, computer operators, secretaries, receptionists and technicians pull their guns! Chapelle dives behind a desk for cover.

Suddenly a LITTLE GIRL steps from behind HITLER.

KIM
Nina!



Kim runs forward and embraces her granddaughter. Then she looks up at HITLER.

KIM
Dad?



We can see that behind the Nazi uniform, slicked hair, and glued-on mustache, Hitler is really JACK BAUER!

JACK
Sorry I’m late. But I had to stop and pick up my costume on the way.

TONY
Costume?



Kim, leading Nina by the hand, walks over and whispers to Tony (out of earshot of her father).

KIM
Tony, I should’ve brought this to your attention much sooner.
But my father’s Alzheimer’s is getting worse. Much worse.
The doctors are calling it “end stage†now…

TONY
All I’m concerned about, Kim, is whether or not he can do his job.
Is he going to be able to function at 110% or am I gonna have to pull for him?

KIM
Tony, If I didn’t think he was operating at 210%, I wouldn’tve left
Nina with him. You know my father, and I’m insulted that you
even have to ask me that question.



Tony frowns. But he concedes.

TONY
Merry Christmas, Jack. I wish I didn’t have to tell you
that we’ve got a real crisis on our hands.



Then, Tony whispers angrily to Kim.

TONY
Just get him out of that goddamned Nazi
uniform before Chapelle sees him.



CUT TO:

INT. CLONING FACILITY. DAY

TITLE CARD: 8:25AM


The room is dark and filled with strange MEDICAL EQUIPMENT. Two dozen glass incubation tubes are filled with green liquid and 9-month old embryos.

The fully developed embryos look just like normal newborns, except for the small, neatly cropped, rectangular mustaches that each bears on it’s upper lip.

A MAN enters the frame, talking on a cell phone. He has black slicked back hair and eye-glasses, and is obviously bad. This is ZEPHYR FOLEY. He speaks with a thick, yet unidentifiable accent.

ZEPHYR
(on phone)
So far, so good. The embryos will be ready in approximately—



He checks his watch.

SUB-TITLE: 8:27 AM

ZEPHYR (Cont’d)
Eleven hours and forty-three minutes. Barring any unseen
events, such as Jack Bauer discovering our plans, everything
should go smoothly. No, I’m not saying that Bauer knows
anything about this—but if he does, we’ll take care of him.
I have an old score to settle with him anyway. Don’t worry.
I’ll be in touch with you shortly. Heil Hitler.



He hangs up.

INT. CTU. DAY

Jack is playing patty-cake with Nina. He has removed the Nazi uniform, but still wears the mustache.

Tony sizes him up, A WRY EXPRESSION ON HIS FACE, before walking over to him.

TONY
Jack, can I talk to you a minute?

JACK
Tony, I’m the middle of something here.

TONY
I know, but it’s important.

JACK
More important than spending time with my granddaughter?

TONY
She’s your great-granddaughter Jack.



Jack pauses, looks at her, then off into space. He realizes something is wrong.

JACK
Of course she is.

TONY
Are you alright?

JACK
(defensive)
What do you want Tony?

TONY
I thought you should know. Division called.

JACK
Is this about the Hitler clone?



Tony is genuinely surprised.

TONY
How did you know?

JACK
It’s Christmas Eve, Tony. What better day for a terrorist
organization to subvert the country by releasing
a genetically identical copy of the world’s most notorious
fascist dictator? Just tell me what you’ve got so far.

TONY
Kim’s working the German angle. I spent the last 24
minutes looking for you on our satellite feed.



SUB-TITLE: 8:28 AM

JACK
Okay, good. Keep me updated.



Jack walks off. He goes over to Kim who is at her computer. She is drinking another egg-nog.

JACK
Hi sweet-heart. Everything okay?

KIM
Where were you dad? You had me worried.

JACK
I’m sorry sweetie, I just had a hard time getting out of
the house this morning.

KIM
I was worried.

JACK
I know sweetie. It won’t happen again.
We’re going to be a family again, I promise.

KIM
We are a family dad.

JACK
I know. We will be. I promise.



Jack hugs her. Kim looks at him, concerned about his mental state.
 

Caitriona

Something Wicked
We come back from commercial on a SPLIT SCREEN. THE FOUR IMAGES REVEAL:

1. Jack and Nina going through a car wash. They are having a good time.

2. David Palmer lying on a massage table in a towel, being massaged by his three wives.

3. The rental truck with the Hitler embryos driving through downtown Los Angeles.

4. Kim pouring herself a glass of egg-nog.

INT. PALMER’S RANCH. DAY

Palmer is being massaged by his three wives. He should be enjoying himself, but something is eating away at him.



PALMER
Baby, hand me that cell phone.



One of his wives hands him his cell phone. He dials Tony.

PALMER
Tony? This is David Palmer. Fine, fine, thank you.
The reason I’m calling is because I’ve been receiving some
rather unusual phone calls from Jack Bauer this morning.



SPLIT SCREEN: TONY AND PALMER ON THEIR PHONES

TONY
You talked to Jack..

PALMER
Yes. But I got the feeling that something was wrong.
It was like he wanted to tell me something but couldn’t
without compromising his cover. Is he in danger?

TONY
We lost touch with Jack almost thirty minutes ago.
We assumed he had gone dark.

PALMER
He said something about a Hitler clone?

TONY
That’s right. We’ve reason to believe that a clone of Hitler is going to
be launched in Los Angeles today. Jack must have infiltrated the
terrorist ring already, but been unable to communicate with us.

PALMER
Is there anything I can do?

TONY
No sir, you’ve done enough. Thank you.



Tony hangs up with Palmer and phones Chloe.

INT. CHLOE’S OFFICE. DAY

Chloe is sitting at her computer doing something. She puts Tony on speaker phone.

CHLOE
Yes Tony?

TONY
I need to find Chase. Do you know where he is?

CHLOE
How should I know? I don’t know where he is.

TONY
Can you find him?

CHLOE
I’m kind of in the middle of something, Tony.

TONY
Just do it, Chloe.



He hangs up. She rolls her eyes.

INT. CTU. DAY

Kim walks over to Tony, egg-nog in hand.

KIM
Have you spoken to my father recently?



Tony looks up at her with a WRY EXPRESSION ON HIS FACE.

TONY
No, I haven’t.

KIM
It’s been almost thirty minutes and he hasn’t checked in.
I’m getting worried about him.

TONY
I’m sure he’s okay.

KIM
If you hear anything, you’ll let me know, right?

TONY
Of course.

KIM
Because it’s been almost thirty minutes and he
hasn’t checked in. I’m getting worried about him.



She stumbles off. Tony rubs his eyes.

TONY
Where are you Jack?



SPLIT SCREEN
THE FOUR IMAGES REVEAL:

1. Tony and Kim looking worried…
2. David Palmer lying on a massage table in a towel, being massaged by his three wives…
3. Jack and Nina sitting in a Dairy Queen licking ice cream cones..
4. Chloe at her computer doing something…

THE CLOCK READS: 8:44 AM

COMMERCIAL BREAK.

THE CLOCK READS: 8:45 AM

SPLIT SCREEN
THE FOUR IMAGES REVEAL:
1. Chloe at her computer doing something…
2. David Palmer lying on a massage table in a towel, being massaged by his three wives…
3. Tony is on the phone, updating the White House…
4. The Hitler babies are out of their tanks, and are lying in two dozen cradles. They already look slightly older…

INT. CTU. DAY

Tony is on the phone talking with the White House, a WRY EXPRESSION ON HIS FACE.

TONY
I understand that, Mr. President. No, I don’t want an all out nuclear war,
either. But we just don’t know where he is… But one thing I DO know,
Jack Bauer is infiltrating the terrorist cell as we speak, and he will do everything
in his power to contact us. We just have to give him more time!



INT. JACK’S CAR. DAY

Jack is driving. The radio is turned on real loud. His cell phone rings. This time, he answers it.

JACK
This is Jack.

Tony (V.O.)
Jack, it’s Tony.



SPLIT SCREEN: JACK AND TONY ON THEIR PHONES

TONY
Look, I owe you an apology. When I didn’t hear from you I
thought that you’d disappeared. Gotten side-tracked or something.



The music is so loud that Jack can’t hear.

JACK
What!? Hello?

TONY
Look, I know that you can’t talk without blowing your cover, so I’ll do
the talking. You probably already know this, but Kim found the address
of the main suspect. It’s 1412 Ventura Boulevard, suite seven. I’m
calling in SWAT now to assist you. But you better hurry— we’re hours
away from a nuclear attack.

JACK
Tony, is that you?

TONY
Good luck Jack.



Jack hangs up.

INT. CONFERENCE ROOM. DAY

Chapelle lies on the floor, groaning. He comes to, and rises to shaky feet.

He stumbles out onto the main floor, and collapses, knocking over a Christmas tree. He gets back to his feet and stumbles over to Tony.

CHAPELLE
Where’s Jack?



Tony looks up with A WRY EXPRESSION ON HIS FACE.

TONY
He’s minutes away from arresting the prime suspect in the Hitler cloning ring.

CHAPELLE
That son of a bitch is fired. I’ve had it with that son of a bitch.

TONY
Look Ryan, Jack might not always do things by the book, but right now he’s
the only chance we’ve got. You want me to tell him to stop the investigation
now when we’re on the brink of nuclear war?

CHAPELLE
Nuclear war? What are you talking about?



EXT. DISNEYLAND. DAY

Jack and Nina drive through the front gates of Disney Land.

THE CLOCK READS: 8:46 AM

INT. DAVID PALMER’S RANCH. DAY


Palmer is playing tennis with his three wives. They are playing doubles.

INT. CTU. DAY

Kim is at her desk drinking an egg nog. Her phone rings.

KIM
Kim Bauer.

CHASE (V.O.)
Kim, it’s Chase.

KIM
Chase! My god, where are you?

CHASE (V.O.)
I can’t tell you right now.

KIM
Are you in trouble? Are you alright? Are you with my dad?
Did you eat breakfast yet? What time are you coming by?
Will you make it for the Christmas party?

CHASE (V.O.)
I’m on my way. Is Chapelle looking for me?

KIM
I don’t know, I haven’t seen him in a while. Where are you?

CHASE (V.O.)
 
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