A joke about a duck in a bar.

[Dr Dave]

A duck walks into a bar, the bartender says, "What'll it be?" The duck doesn't say anything because its a duck.

http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/popu...e-the-duck-doesn-t-say-anything-because-its-a

I didn't come up with it, but I thought I'd share it none the less.

 

[Dr Dave]

A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park.

http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/popu...led-and-the-duck-is-released-in-a-nearby-park

Another duck joke I didn't write, but decided to share.

 

[Loktar]

Dr Dave you quack me up.

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

A duck walks into a bar just as a chandelier breaks off and falls from the ceiling.

The bartender yells, "DUCK!"

The duck thought nothing of it, being a regular at the bar and being used to hearing the greeting, like they shouted at Norm in "Cheers."

RIP Duck Norm.

 

[Sarek]

He should have had AFLAC.

 

[Dr Dave]

A duck walks into a over 7-11 and says "Give me some Chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.

http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/popu...e-me-some-chapstick-put-it-on-my-bill-but-the

More duck jokes!

 

[Aquehonga]

Remember "Disco Duck" & "Howard the Duck"?

 

[CaptainWacky]

A duck walks into a bar.

The bartender says "hello...MY WIFE" as he is married to the duck.

 

[FBI parte due]

Alex Jones shakes his head and mutters, "I told you… I told you all…"

 

[Loktar]

A duck walks into a Chinese restaraunt.

He was delicious.

*burp*

 

[curiousa2z]

LOKTAR ARE YOU WORKING FOR THE GEESE?

 

[Loktar]

LOKTAR ARE YOU WORKING FOR THE GEESE?

No, I'm working as a double agent for the ducks. I won't forget though those brave...delicious ducks...*drools*...that sacrificed themselves to end the geese tyranny...*burp*

 

[Love Child]

I am going to attempt to do stand up every night this week ( except Thursday) wish me luck! I am stepping out! And Dr Dave I hijacked you thread.

 

[Cassie]

Someday you need to have someone record your standup so we can all see it.

 

[CaptainWacky]

YES.

 

[Mirah]

Someday! I mean it has only been 7 years!
Wow

P.S.
Looking for my stand up thread
I am feeling inspired

 

[Mirah]

I wrote that earlier and I don't even know who that is
and then I realized
I am no different than Kefka!
I am Kefka!
I am a drunk man making posts at all hours of the day
and using different names
and having slightly different personalities
Just kidding
I am not a man
only in 1 of my personalities
but seriously
no
not seriously
yeah
that

 

[Mirah]

A duck walks into a bar
orders a drink
and says
put it on my bill

 

[Mirah]

A duck walks into a bar
sees an empty seat
next to another duck
and asks, "Is this seat taken?"

 

[Dr Dave]

Hmm.

 

[Starship Coyote]

A duck walks into a bar, screams "fuck the Jews" and is immediately branded a Nazi.