"Boasting" or "Tea and Cookies"...

[Volpone]

We'll call this boasting. Over 10 years ago I decided real estate investing was what I needed to get into. It's taken a lot longer than I planned and I'm still not making any money on it, but I finally bought a rental that I'm in the process of renovating. Here's some before/after pictures (with "after" actually being "during" because there's still plenty to do, but in photos it looks mostly done:

 

[Volpone]

 

[Volpone]

 

[Volpone]

 

[jack]

You do the work yourself, or job it out to contractors?

 

[Volpone]

I do most of it myself. Pay people to put in water heaters, furnaces, and circuit boxes. I'll pay someone to do the roof on the house when it is time for that, but I'll do the roof on the garage. But paint, floors, and basic electrical and plumbing? I do that. I put in all the lights and replaced the toilet (and will eventually plumb in the new vanity and swap out the kitchen faucet).

 

[Mirah]

The before paint colors are awful.

 

[The Question]

Good gods, why are you running Windows Vista? (Or whatever it is -- sure as shit looks like Windows Vista.)

Also, how much to rent the house once it's ready? I can't think of anything more appropriately fucked up than me renting from you. I assume utilities will not be included, but even if it's more expensive than where I'm at now, a house beats a former hotel room -cum- "studio apartment" in a fucking ghost town.

 

[The Question]

The before paint colors are awful.

I dunno, red+black (where the red actually is red, rather than pink, that is) weren't that bad. Still, avocado green isn't exactly an eyesore, and it's not like the tenant is gonna just stand there for hours staring at the walls. (I mean... hopefully not. Guy might accidentally rent the place to a Demmunist, and they might do weird+dumb shit like that, who knows.)

 

[jack]

Imagine him as your landlord. He'd want to fuck your blow up doll.

 

[The Question]

Ain't got one, he'd be outta luck there. I mean, I could maybe go to the County Faire wherever that is and get one of the clowns to make me a balloon animal for him to doink, but Jayzus, I don't know how that'd make me look in the eyes of the local community.

Don't get me wrong, I don't care how I look in the eyes of any given "local community" -- but if shady rumors start about me, I like to at least know what they are so I can maximize their utility as comedy fuel. I mean, if the local church elders brand me a "rubber animal plooker", I can at least walk around with a rubber duckie in my coat pocket to have "accidentally slip out" at opportune moments so they all scatter like frightened pigeons. It's the use of the rumor that matters to me, ya dig?

 

[Volpone]

This will probably rent for around $1,000 a month plus utilities. That's ballpark for a 3br house in Louisville.

 

[The Question]

Most I can do -- THE most -- is about $900/mo. That leaves me literally *nothing* left over for utilities, groceries, or any thing else. So that won't fly. Oh, well, That leaves Fort Smith, AR, but I'll be stuck with that Chi-nee runnin' 'em cheap shells on me agin.

 

[jack]

wow, a k a month for a 3br house? I was planning on relocating to Portugal, but that sounds like a good deal, considering I'm doing a 2 br apartrment for 1300

 

[Loktar]

When I lived in Watervliet, I did a 3 br for $950 a month.

 

[Volpone]

Just FYI, no reputable property manager is going to enter a lease with someone where their entire income is going to rent. The rule of thumb out here is that you need to show income 3x what rent is. With certain exceptions or if the market is tight, someone might go as low as 2x rent, but they won't be happy about it. A renter that is spending all their money on rent doesn't have money to take care of the property, is going to resent the eeevil landlord for taking all their money, and will get behind with no way to catch up the first time something unexpected happens. And something unexpected ALWAYS happens. Then they need to start eviction proceedings and everyone loses on an eviction. It's just too risky to rent to someone that can *just about* afford the rent.

 

[The Question]

Just FYI, no reputable property manager is going to enter a lease with someone where their entire income is going to rent.

Yep, I'm alllll aware of all of that. And that's the shit end of the stick for both parties -- it's not your fault that you have to charge that much to just break even, nor is it my fault that Social Security Disability doesn't even cover a reasonable rent. nor that the publishers I supplement it with are such skinflints that even my supplemental freelance writing income doesn't boost me up sufficiently to reach the "3x the rent" level.

The system we've got is the best one achievable, but it still leaves people scratching by at way below the "poverty line" threshold. Well, that's just how it is. At least it's better than socialism, where everybody would be where I'm at and there wouldn't be anybody in a position to hire me for what writing jobs I do get.

Not saying I like what I have to do to get by. But at least I can do what I have to do to get by.

 

[jack]

Interesting thread....