DAMN YOU, BRAIN!

Volpone

Zombie Hunter
I'm watching the news tonight. And they're saying my fat $1,200 check should be showing up any day now. That's about the point where I realize that, along with my tax refund, I could get me a fairly nice sex doll and have change left over. :/
 

Volpone

Zombie Hunter
Of course one of the problems with a sex doll is what do you do with her when she's not in use? Easier since I live alone, but still... Do you dress her up and plonk her on the couch to deter burglars? Or make her a kind of art piece coffee table by getting one of them dog kennels and sticking her in it with S&M attire? I don't feel like lugging her up into the attic every time I'm not using her. I guess just chuck her in a closet. Could be awkward with nosy guests, but such is life. I guess the right way to do it would be to build a secret room and keep her in that. So yeah. I'm not going to get enough money to do that.
 

jack

The Legendary Troll Kingdom
I'd rather have a live girl anytime. Especially when they moan nicely when you slide inside them just so...
 

jack

The Legendary Troll Kingdom
I wonder if you could transplant the internals of a Roomba into a sex doll. And if it would clean house too or just suck on...things.
vaccuums......

They're very overrated unless you can get your dick to vibrate in the tube. then it works just fine, as long as you don't look at the vacuum cleaner.
 

Volpone

Zombie Hunter
I will never stick my dick in a vacuum cleaner. Because I don't want to be the guy at the emergency room, explaining how my dick got stuck in the vacuum cleaner.
 

jack

The Legendary Troll Kingdom
I will never stick my dick in a vacuum cleaner. Because I don't want to be the guy at the emergency room, explaining how my dick got stuck in the vacuum cleaner.
Bragging again? Who the hell is that thick?
 
Maybe it's a Dustbuster.

Do they even still make those? And, if not, how much of the existing ones have been repainted by nurds to become (really, really badly done) Season 1 TNG hand phaser props? :joker:
 

Volpone

Zombie Hunter
You know who winds up in the emergency room with their dick stuck in something? People who go "there's *no way* I could get my dick stuck in this thing."
That said, I'm pretty sure I once posted a thread here about how I was disappointed because I wanted to trace my dick but the largest easily available paper was 11x17.
 
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