In the last couple years some gene flipped in me. It's like the one that made Brando get fat and Hemingway kill himself. I know I should at the least do pullups and crunches; run a bit too, ideally; maybe cut back on my caloric intake. But I don't. I know I've made enough stir-fry for 2 meals. But I eat it all. I know I should get out the door without breakfast--let alone fucking off on the Internet. But I don't--and do. I know I should have 2 cocktails, tops. But I drink and drink... I feel like Fat Val Kilmer, watching videotapes of myself, oiled up and shirtless, playing volleyball with Tom Cruise, while I drag slavegirl Leia over to lick her face.
Wait, what?!