DREAM THREAD Part Pi.Pi!

Volpone

Zombie Hunter
Slept straight through the night tonight. It was everything I hoped it would be. Don't remember the entire context of the dream, but I had some kind of flunkie job--along with a few other people. And we had to do some thing. Or deliver something. But apparently we were suppose to bring back signatures from the people we delivered it to. I hadn't, but the others all had. But it was something like that I realized the thing needed to happen so I took initiative and did it and then our boss realized it needed to happen and had the other people do it too. So he (and he was, like, a rural sheriff from "The A-Team" or something--not the crooked one the team has to take out that is in cahoots with the Bad Guy, just the useless one that the Good Guy has to hire the team because the cops don't do anything) wanted to know why I hadn't gotten the signatures when the others all had.

It's funny, how dreams change as you're having them and what's already happened in the dream can retroactively change too. Because I think in the start of the dream I was more inept and I'd just forgotten or been too lazy to get the signatures, but as I was bluffing an excuse for why I hadn't, it changed to that I'd done the work without anyone telling me to, that the boss was a petty micromanaging functionary, and that the signatures were a stupid waste of time and that nobody liked him. This was around quitting time and the cute secretary(?) was walking out behind him as I was saying this and she stopped to give me a "thumbs-up." Then I was a dick and called her out on it--"See?! *She* doesn't like you. Nobody likes you." Fortunately she was slick and changed her gesture to some nondescript hand-wave or something before he could turn around. And that killed any chance of having dream-sex with her (although it wasn't that kind of dream)--and my subconscious having to contrive interruptions to prevent me from actually having dream-sex.
 

Volpone

Zombie Hunter
Mostly a fairly run-of-the-mill zombie dream, last night--with all the usual dream ptropes. The zombie event was localized and I somehow knew about it, so I was going to discreetly get out of town. But various delays, setbacks, and inability to work simple buttons like car door locks wound up with me taking shelter is a creepy old castle/mansion. Of course the other guy there was almost immediately infected but I fashioned some kind of helmet for him that was supposed to delay the process. Then someone thought it would be a good idea to put on all the lights and the stereo, calling attention to our hideout. Fortunately this was all on one side of the place and the other guy was a goner already so I used the opportunity to pop out the back and get to my car. By this time The Authorities were getting things under control. Unfortunately a zombie had gotten into my car and I let him out when I opened the door, but at that point I was like "fuck it, not my problem" and decided to get in the car and get the hell out of there.
 

CaptainWacky

I want to smell dark matter
Had an insanely long dream where I left my car somewhere then went looking for my friend's car and he drove off and waved goodbye then I was like "now I have to walk all over town to get my car again!" then I was in a Zelda game. I can't drive.
 

Volpone

Zombie Hunter
This morning I was in a 2 day college wrestling tournament, along with my brother. Not NCAA or Big 10 or something, like the little, second tier state schools in the midwest--not that you aren't going to run into some top-notch wrestlers in states like Iowa. The catch is we were both at or close to our current ages. Given how frustratingly slow my brain has gotten at retrieving trivia while watching "Jeopardy!", I shudder to think how my body, with no recent practice or conditioning, would do against 19 and 20 year old guys.

But since it was a dream, we were actually doing pretty good. We were going to be going on to Sunday (when the college basketball team was also having a tournament at another facility) and my brother and I were talking over lunch in the cafeteria with a couple of the other guys on the team. I mentioned that I needed to shoot some fireman's takedowns tomorrow and my brother said they were solid bread and butter for him today and it occurred to me that a lot of these kids maybe didn't even know some of the moves we learned. Truth be told, our high school coach had taught us some stuff that was out of date even when we'd been wrestling so I nudged one of the other guys--"You know what a fireman's is? How about an arm drag?" He'd never heard of them so we started laughing at the thought of dusting the old moves off. I'm like, "The last time anyone saw someone shoot an arm drag was in 1952 with Gorilla Monsoon!" And sure enough, later when we were wrestling that's exactly what one of the commentators said.
 

Volpone

Zombie Hunter
Last night I was at some kind of black tie--or even white tie--thing. Very formal. Lots of etiquette. Based on Marine Corps Birthday Balls but it was more a civilian thing. I'm completely not dressed right. At one point the best I can manage is a polo and slacks, but they're from work so they're dirty and a bit worn. For some reason I'm standing in the big fountain in the lobby. And everyone is kind of tolerating me, like they expect that I'm going to be the one that screws up and disappoints everyone, but I'm trying my best to fit in. I do have some dry clothes I can change into but no dry underwear--and nowhere to change. So I leave the hall we're in and head out into the rest of the facility. One of the staff--like a concierge or something--points me to the restrooms but there's another function going on in that space so there are people backed up out into the corridor. I tell her that I really just need a closet or someplace to change clothes and realize there's a door to the stairs to some theater balcony that will do. I think she's just glad to get back to what she's doing and I head in there to change. I decide to lock the doors, which is good, because there's some Harry Potter school wizard kid that is up in the balcony with some kind of crisis and his friend out in the corridor is trying to find him and keeps trying the door. I'm trying to change because it's only a matter of time before one of them starts doing magic.
 

Volpone

Zombie Hunter
Very involved--and very detailed--dream last night, that provoked some Deep Thoughts after I woke up. Let's get the weird bit out of the way first: For whatever reason, the role of me was played by Mr. T. My mother was in it, but she was also black--otherwise nothing would've made sense(!) There had been some kind of apocalypse that had wiped out most of civilization. When the story first started, I'd just arrived with some friends and for some reason I took off at least one of my socks and wound up leaving it next to a wastebasket on one of the floors of the mall or office building or wherever we were. I got separated from my friends and wound up with some kid/teen. While we were trying to get to wherever we were going, I kept an eye out for my missing sock. I thought I found it at the bottom of a bathtub, but it turned out to be the sleeve from the old white t-shirt I'd been wearing. For that scene, the kid may have briefly turned into my dog, because my dog was there and wanted to chew on the t-shirt sleeve, so I played with her with it a bit before taking it away because she'd chewed it up enough that she was in danger of choking on it. Eventually we made it to my Mom's place. The kid that was with me was appalled because I'd started thinking about what the next steps were and she(?) thought I was being too crass. I was like "What are we supposed to do?! Just sit around and mope and feel sorry for ourselves? We've got to move forward." At this point my Mom yelled at me for being too insensitive so I asked her if she was retarded. "Were you born this way and I never noticed it before, or is this just something from the last 10 years or so? Can you even become retarded?!" Then I went in her bathroom, which was flooded and mildewy, with garbage everywhere. There was standing water in the tub and the sink faucet was leaking. I tried to shut it off and it started spraying all over. Eventually I got it back to where it was. Then my Mom came down admitted the faucet was broken and asked if I could fix it for her. I told her I didn't think any stores were open and she said I should just take a new faucet and she'd come in and pay for it later. So I went to the Lowes that was in the building and found one that looked like it should work--I even went as far as to read the instructions on the package. That's how involved the dream was.

That's when I woke up. This was an odd dream in that most of the dreams I remember happen in the last 15-30 minutes I'm asleep. This one was dead in the middle of the night. I woke up to use the bathroom at 4:35. Anyway, I got to thinking about how utterly fucked we'd be in a major catastrophe; how maybe the people killed would be the lucky ones. We had power and water in the dream, but even if those survived, how long would they last before going out? As I was thinking about cleaning up the bathroom I was wondering who would come get the trash cans? How would we get all the dead (which I didn't see in the dream--maybe it was the Rapture) buried before disease started spreading?

Then I got to thinking about Dresden and London and Stalingrad--even Hiroshima. Those places got devastated and people just kept going on. But maybe people were tougher in those days.
 

Mirah

I love you
I can't read all that! I will try later.

I had some strange and cool dreams this week, some recurring, but one, very new, not recurring dream.

I was with some guy with a very long and skinny dick. It was like those dildos you see in lesbian porn. I was trying to blow him and told him, "Wow! You are so big! I don't think I can even get this in my mouth" and he was okay with it or said something like "You can try" or something. And I think I was going to try to deep throat it, but then of course I woke up.

I am fucking disturbed by these sex dreams I have.
 

Volpone

Zombie Hunter
You don't look like Taylor Swift and/or Mila Kunis, do you? Had 2 dreams last night. Didn't remember the first very well, and the second was so self-serving I didn't want to share it. I always am a bit suspicious of the "I'm awesome and the hero of the universe" dreams. Which probably says something about how screwed up my psyche is.

Anyhow, this second dream, I'm in some kind of gathering. It has a bit of a party vibe, but it's also like, a green room or something. We were supposed to wear specific things. Then I'm mad that not only is my nice suit going to get trashed, I specifically had to get this suit for this girl at the...thing...and then the makeup/costume guy winds up completely destroying it. This is the Mila Kunis girl. So he lays her on a table and starts covering her with white latex. Then he sprinkles some kind of accent powder/feathers on her that is supposed to stick to "hot" areas on her body. So she has this feather/dust oval on her chest--and maybe something on her inner thighs. It's incredibly hot and I'm perving on it.

The whole costume is for some kind of Wrestlemania thing that I may or may not be in as well. Anyway, I'm getting ignored because I'm not one of the Cool Kids. I'm also getting pretty hard because she's so hot. So I decide to point out the bulge in my pants and make a comment on it. Amazingly, this works and Latex Mila is turned on by it and says she wants to see more. At this point it isn't just a bulge in the pants, it's like a 24" firehose stuffed into a striped tube sock. So Latex Mila starts giving it oral attention--at which point Taylor Swift lookalike (because I don't think IRL Tay-Tay is so skanky) is also interested. They peel off the fabric and start going to town on it--which is rare, because usually my brain comes up with some roadblock before I get anywhere near sex in a dream. That's when I woke up for a bit and couldn't get back in the dream.

Although that reminds me of an aspect of the first dream. I don't remember any details, but that's an aspect of all my dreams--if I'm going to get sex, something gets in the way and if I need a gun it never works; it jams or I forgot to load it or I left a part out when I cleaned it or whatever. And I had some similar thing in the first dream that my conscious brain barged in and forced things to actually work on.

I should say that's my weird take on lucid dreaming--they say when you have a lucid dream you're basically like Neo at the end of "The Matrix" and you can just go nuts and do whatever you want. I've had dreams where I realized I'm dreaming and I'm like "Shit, I could fly or nail Latex Mila Kunis or deflect bullets," but then I go "but that would break suspension of disbelief, so I'd better stick close to the script. :/
 

Mirah

I love you
You don't look like Taylor Swift and/or Mila Kunis, do you?

I've had dreams where I realized I'm dreaming and I'm like "Shit, I could fly or nail Latex Mila Kunis or deflect bullets," but then I go "but that would break suspension of disbelief, so I'd better stick close to the script. :/

I am more like Jo from Facts of Life on a good day. My sister says I remind her of Sandra Bullock at her goofiest.

I can lucid dream as well, but I have only succeeded at forming a body of water and jumping into that to avoid my attackers.

I don't have any attackers anymore, so mostly just pent up sexual tension dreams. And if I fell asleep without brushing my teeth I don't get to kiss in my dreams. So now I make sure I put on makeup an do my hair before I go to bed, which isn't good for my face, but hey at least my dreams are good... some of the time.
 

Volpone

Zombie Hunter
Bunch of dreams last night but only really remember the last two:

I'm at some hospital/clinic. Apparently I have cancer. I've been doing OK with it, but today they need a stool sample and something about having to shit in a cup just puts me over the edge. So I'm trying to make a connection with my doctor because I feel like if I can get him to care about me personally, he'll do better work than if I'm just another patient. But then for some reason everyone in the clinic leaves and just leaves me there on a gurney. Luckily there's a TV on for entertainment and *really* luckily, it is some kind of Skinimax softcore about this chick who is solving a mystery and for some reason needs to be naked to do it. Eventually everyone comes back and I don't want to look like a pervert for watching this movie so I pretend to be asleep. But they also realize they probably shouldn't have just all left the hospital at the same time--especially leaving a patient behind--so they're trying to unlock the door real sneaky-like--only I can't catch them without admitting I'm awake. Turns out the ticking of the alarm clock was the staff trying to quietly unlock the door.

The last one was absolutely unnerving. There's some crusty dude walking down the street. It's almost Veteran's Day and he's only got 1 arm and he's wearing a camouflage baseball cap so I take a chance and thank him for his service. He says "close," so I apologize and explain my assumption. At this point I realize (and the dream has changed things as it was happening) that the guy not only is missing an arm, he doesn't have a face--just a t-shirt, stretched up over a boxlike surface with sunglasses on it (and maybe a little camera or a speaker or something?). He says "close" again and I realize he's carrying a hoodie and actually saying "clothes. I need clothes." He's about my size so I ask him where I can find him and say I'll see what I can do. (And I feel bad because I'm probably just going to blow him off after I get away.)
 

Volpone

Zombie Hunter
Remembered 2 when I woke up. Forgot the first while having breakfast.

Last one, I was more a spectator than anything. There's some old ugly, stupid, not very nice guy. And he's in the middle of some kind of deadly grudge with some ugly, stupid, not very nice Mexicans (well, one of them anyway). They've almost wound up killing one or the other on a few occasions but something always interfered. So he's hanging out in a kind of vacant lot behind a trailer park, waiting for them so they can settle things once and for all. He's contemplating how his life has turned out and how he only has 6 teeth when the Mexicans show up. The protagonist doesn't have any kind of second, which I don't think is that good a plan, given that the Mexican has 2. Furthermore, he has maybe a knife or two, while the guy he's going to fight is armed like a ninja that is heading to war--like a butterfly sword in each hand, a chain coiled over his shoulder with a hook on it, maybe an axe strapped to his back. Now I'm really thinking "this can't be good," but I'm watching where it goes.

They square off in the clearing and go at it for a few seconds before the Mexican runs him clean through the torso with a sword. I'm a little surprised by this, because you don't usually see the "hero" get butchered unless there's a point to it--even if the hero is ugly, stupid, and not very nice. So I'm thinking about how getting stabbed doesn't necessarily kill you and maybe he'll pull some kind of "Rob Roy"/"Firefly" reversal. And a few seconds later the Mexican runs him through with both swords simultaneously. That's about the point where I woke up. Not in horror or anything; more like when you go to a baseball game and your team is getting clobbered so eventually you just give up and leave to beat the traffic.
 

Volpone

Zombie Hunter
Woah. I knew last night's dream was awesome, but I lost it before I could put it here. At least the theme just popped back into my brain just now. Don't even know what triggered it. It was basically out of the "Illuminatus! Trilogy" I was in some kind of awesome Captain Nemo sub and we were taking on the US Navy or someone in some epic undersea battle. Sorry I don't remember any details. But the sub was ostentatious. It was like something Trump would build.
 

Volpone

Zombie Hunter
The only thing I remember from last night is that someone had to check me for lice. I protested that it was pointless, stupid, and demeaning, but they insisted.
 

Volpone

Zombie Hunter
Nothing terribly exciting last night. Watched an old episode of "Remington Steele," where the client thought the CIA was trying to kill him and immediately had a night of dreams that people were out to get me. I did have one specific bit where I dreamed I heard keys jingling nearby and/or someone outside and decided it would be a good idea to get up and go get the pistol, but I couldn't make myself wake up and get out of bed. Eventually I decided that if there really was someone in the house or even in the yard, The Dog would be barking her head off. Of course if The Dog was also too tired... [calli]
 

Volpone

Zombie Hunter
Holy crap. Great one last night. Normally I don't try to interpret dreams here, but this one was so blatant if you know what's going on in my life right now that I can't resist sharing:

An old friend from college invited me to some kind of cook-out/foodie dinner. It was actually quite nice and a beautiful day. Eating outdoors with a wonderful margarita to boot. I really hadn't wanted to come but couldn't pass it up. But then it was time to go home. I'd decided to ride my motorcycle there and while I was trying to start it, it kept falling over; getting more and more damaged each time I dropped it. Eventually it was totalled. Wouldn't start and important parts that let it go down the road were falling off and the cosmetic stuff was all crushed and mangled. So some biker guys helped me push it up onto a hill/mound reserved for broken bikes. I had to come to terms with that it was totally irrepairable (it's a rare bike that is harder and harder to find parts for). At that point I realized I'd also forgotten to wear my helmet there, so I'd have had to ride home without it too. The good thing about that is it made me realize I was dreaming, because it is completely impossible to forget your helmet. There's a little clip under the seat for the helmet so you'd have to unlock it and set it aside (it would be awkward to ride it with the helmet hanging where it is stored).

I told my friend I needed a ride home. It was 10-15 miles and walking would've sucked. He had stuff to do, but grudgingly agreed to take me home. But we wound up taking a Jeep over some boulder-strewn clifftop ridgeline. At first I didn't think there was a door on my side and was worried I'd fall out, but eventually realized there was one--it was just oddly engineered so you didn't notice it. Moot point because my friend just about crashed the Jeep off the cliff, so I jumped out. Whether he lost control or was trying to take a side trail, I'm not sure, but he saved it, got it turned around, and was trying to get it back up on the trail. He was having to move boulders as he was...dragging(?) the Jeep along. But just as he was about to get back up on the trail a long stream of traffic was in the way.

****

This fall my friend asked me if I'd like to help him out on a big IT project he had coming up. Meanwhile I was trying to get my first property for real estate investing. One dead had fallen through and the current deal wasn't looking that good. Besides, he didn't even have approval to hire a contractor yet, so I reluctantly agreed. If I'd said no and didn't get the house, I'd have wasted the whole summer with no fallback plan. If I got the house, I could back out of the contracting thing. Worst case, both would fall through and I'd have to look for a job locally--and there are tons of jobs out there right now. As it happened, my friend got approval for the position. Then, the next day my offer on the house was accepted. Closing was the day before the first official teleconference (it was going to be mostly remote work, but might entail a couple trips 8 hours down the road). So now I had 2 full time projects where nothing was going on days before. Really, the job is a great opportunity (the awesome dinner party I didn't want to go to). I should also mention that I got the motorcycle as part of market research on a motorcycle company I was exploring starting a decade or so ago. So breaking the motorcycle was symbolic of my worries that I won't have time to get the house renovated and rented out because I went to my friend's thing. Then the treacherous trail on the way home was my worries about this project I got brought on for being doomed and me not being able to do anything to change that. So yeah. Fairly entertaining dream that pretty much beat me over the head with my subconscious' feelings of inadequacy.
 

Volpone

Zombie Hunter
Just a snippet today. For some reason some female acquaintance had to do something down around my lower body and I'd forgotten to zip my fly. I'm trying to stand in a way that hides it and speed her along but she's got one thing after another to do (No idea what, something perfectly reasonable by dream logic) and I know it's only a matter of time before she realizes I've forgotten to zip my fly. At one point I consider just interrupting, apologizing, and fixing it.
 

Charlemagne

Holy Roman Emperor
Are dreams from over a decade ago okay? Because if they are, then I've got a REALLY weird one to tell.
 

Mirah

I love you
Yes.
Please do.

The other night I had a disturbing dream where 3 of us got our heads chopped off. Somehow I was still able to see, or I had eyes in my neck, I don't know. I recall my uncle showing up and I ran out of the room saying "They can't see me like this!"
I wasn't even watching heroes.
I've been watching Downton Abbey, Mrs Maisel.
I have no idea what would make me think of my head being chopped off.
 

Loktar

Pinata Whacker
Yes.
Please do.

The other night I had a disturbing dream where 3 of us got our heads chopped off. Somehow I was still able to see, or I had eyes in my neck, I don't know. I recall my uncle showing up and I ran out of the room saying "They can't see me like this!"
I wasn't even watching heroes.
I've been watching Downton Abbey, Mrs Maisel.
I have no idea what would make me think of my head being chopped off.
Highlander. There can be only one!
 
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