I finally got my dream job

[Mirah]

Can you dress as a pirate and therefore have the excuse to be rude to customers and when they complain say "I was just acting in character, matey!"

That would be the best! For good measure I can chop their ear off, but only if they have 2 of them!

 

[CaptainWacky]

They can't complain if they have a spare!

 

[whisky]

Arggg, that be good news says I.

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

Do you deal with space pirates?

 

[Mirah]

I spoke on the phone today with someone from New York, someone from Kansas, someone from Tennessee, California, and of course Washington. And then in person someone from Texas who has never been to WA but is going to live in the mountains for 3 months to create pottery. Now that is cool. She is going to the same place I spent 2 1/2 years.

 

[Mirah]

Do you deal with space pirates?

Not yet. But come to think of it-there were some government entities that called today, perhaps they are going into the mountains to put satelites up and enhance their monitoring of us even further!

 

[Mirah]

True Story:

The other day I was working in the office and one of my office mates walks by the door and says, "There is a parrot outside!" Except I thought he said "Pirate" So I said, "Pirate?"
And he said, "No a parrot!"
And i said, well I can't recall what I said as I got up out of my seat but it was probably something like, "Where?" And then he might have said, "On that lady's shoulder''
And then I think I said, "WHAT?!" OMG "WHAT?"
And sure enough as I walked outside there was a lady boarding the boat with a parrot on her shoulder-WHICH SHOULD BE PERFECTLY NORMAL! But it kind of isn't so I alerted the 2nd Captain who was near by. And he couldnt' see what I was talking about at first and i just pointed to the lady's shoulder with the parrot on it.
Maybe I should have been the one to go up to her and say somethng. I WASN'T SURE WHAT TO DO! I thought he would kick her off.
But then the boat sailed!
And it was a chaotic morning.

I think I should end the story here because the rest isn't that interesting....or is it?

 

[Volpone]

Have you had to swab the poop deck yet?

 

[CaptainWacky]

Teach the parrot how to swear.

 

[Mirah]

Have you had to swab the poop deck yet?

There is no "poop deck"

But yes.

 

[Mirah]

Teach the parrot how to swear.

I teach babies how to swear

 

[Mirah]

Well my dream job has come to a close. I will finish the season with a trip uplake and a stay where this all started. And then I will come back and start looking for a new gig. It was a great summer! Maybe I can do it again, we will see.

 

[CaptainWacky]

Do you get to keep the parrot?

 

[Dr Dave]

Parrots cannot be trusted.

 

[Ishcabittle]

What's a pirate duck's favorite Star Trek character?

QUAARRRK.

this should have gotten a much bigger reaction.

 

[CaptainWacky]

Life isn't fair.

 

[Dr Dave]

Indeed.

 

[CaptainWacky]

Look at what happened to Darth Vader!

 

[Volpone]

Darth Vader is basically Batman. His parents were killed so he dedicated his life to training his mind and body. He got a black cape and S&M costume with a funky helmet/mask.

 

[CaptainWacky]

And his dick was burned off in a volcano.