I have FUCKING HAD IT with these FUCKING VULCANS

[The Question]

First of all: "Logic dictates..."?! FUCK YOU you Moe Howard lookalike bowl of CRISPY GREEN-BLOODED FUCKSALAD WITH BULLSHIT CROUTONS, SHREDDED NUTSACK CHEESE AND HOBO CUM DRESSING, IT DOES NOT! That's not what logic does, FUCKING EVER. Stupid, arrogant copper-top cockgarglers can't even define their fucking pet monomania right.

So tell me, what right have those pointy-eared fucking midget orcs got to keep us from developing warp propulsion, HUH?! Fucking None! Ohhh, I know, I know some hippie taint stain is gonna come in here and be like, "Hurr durr, there's no such thing as SHUT UP, MOON SAUCE, that's my FUCKING POINT. The fucking Vulcans are stopping us from catching up to them.

And as if all that weren't bad enough! ALL VULCANS, AND ONLY VULCANS, ARE FUCKING RACIST INFERIOR SUBHUMAN SCUM!

 

[Loktar]

Simmer down now, Mr. Jackson.

 

[The Question]

No can do, MUH LITTLE POP-TART!

 

[jack]

What's this about then? Tires?

 

[The Question]

What's this about then? Tires?

Good point! Sly slanty-eye(browed) fuckers have totally subverted our tire industry! RIGHT IN OUR FACES, TOO! VULCAN-ized rubber?! WAKE UP, AMERICANS!!!

 

[jack]

 

[Chuckles51]

I don’t see any tires but I see a nice set of headlights!!!

 

[Colonel Kira's Left Tit]

Vulcans are stupid.

 

[Colonel Kira's Left Tit]

Except for maybe Jolene Blalock.

 

[Colonel Kira's Left Tit]

And her nipples.

 

[The Question]

Her nipples, no doubt, are rather clever.

 

[jack]

Clever nipples? Maybe if she had a sentient talking third one just below her left boobie.

 

[The Question]

Then she’d weigh the same as a duck, it pains me to say.

 

[jack]

You could then turn her upside down so she could quack up.

 

[The Question]

Knowing my luck, my watch strap would break and my expensive timepiece would fall into her crevASSe.

EDIT TO ADD: Fuck, now I'm all nostalgic for 2018, when a $160 wristwatch wasn't expensive from my point of view.