It's fucking cold

[CaptainWacky]

I'm freezing my ears off.

 

[Mandi]

Wanna blankie?

 

[CaptainWacky]

A human blankie?

 

[Mandi]

if you want one

 

[Mentalist]

Location: Scotland

 

[CaptainWacky]

Aye!

 

[Big Dick McGee]

Wha's the tempachoor, laddie buck?

 

[Mentalist]

In Scotland they sell liquid nitrogen to stay warm.

 

[Big Dick McGee]

Hmmm. Perhaps the perpetual dankness and cold has rendered all Scotsmen insane, thus explaining kilts, haggis, and golf?

 

[Big Dick McGee]

Wacky, you live in Edinburgh, aye?

Bah! 'Tis colder here by 5 degrees than 'tis round Edinburgh way! Ya dinnae hear me complainin' ya wee pussy!

 

[CaptainWacky]

I live in WEST CENTRAL SCOTLAND.

 

[Gagh]

The cold has cracked a gas pipe on a house just down the road from mine. TRANSCO are out there now doing emergency work on it with drills & shit. It stinks.

 

[CaptainWacky]

Transco's the ones who blow up houses and kill families. You're safe with them!

 

[Gagh]

It's about 10 doors down. I think I'm safe.

 

[Big Dick McGee]

What city do you live near, Wacky? I sureley cant put "WESTER SCOTLAND" into weather-dot-com!

 

[CaptainWacky]

Glasgow.

 

[Mentalist]

I've been to Glasgow many times in the last couple of years. Shame I couldn't drag you out for a beer.

 

[CaptainWacky]

Natalie could drag me out for a beer.

 

[Mentalist]

We should open a Date Me Natalie & Keira site and go on GMTV and talk about it with Lorraine Kelly.

We would be on "I'm a minor shitty celebrity get me outta here" in no time

 

[CaptainWacky]

Don't me Lorraine Kelly and talk about it on Keira and Natalie!!!!1111111