OMG! ST:TNG MAKES ME WANT TO KILL A HOBO!!!

Volpone

Zombie Hunter
OK. So. I have heard people claim that "Star Trek: The Next Generation" has aged terribly. I didn't get it. From time to time I'd catch a snippet of it while channel surfing and it seemed to hold up. The FX were OK. The acting was fine. BUT...

One of the extra channels does a Star Trek bloc on weekends. And God help me if I sit down for dinner after TOS.

See, it isn't the production values that suck, it's the goddamned *stories*.

A few weeks ago: Picard takes a 6 hour shuttle flight with Wesley while The Enterprise gets outsmarted by Space Retards.
Last week: The Enterprise's systems are mysteriously failing on the edge of a supernova (or some once in 3 lifetimes thing) and they are going to not be able to do an important experiment. Wesley worries that it might be because of a science experiment he did. SURPRISE! It IS because of his "science experiment." Well after the SHTF, Acting Ensign Crusher stays quiet about literally creating TNG's version of SG1's Replicators until it is TOO LATE. When he's finally found out and they have a simple, easy way to solve the problem...PICARD DITHERS because he doesn't want to destroy a "sentient lifeform." Long story short, they're all fucked. But then Data gets the bright idea that they can communicate with the Replicators by LETTING THEM USE HIS BODY. Picard, of course, thinks this is a great idea so they do it. Yadda yadda yadda, they all live happily ever after, while releasing a super sentient race of nanobots on the universe. Wesley, meanwhile, gets NO punishment.

This week? I don't know the whole story. I was spreading mulch in the flower bed and cooking stir-fry (it was delicious). But apparently The Enterprise found a Romulan on a Federation planet. But Geordie got stuck on the planet. A Romulan warship wanted the survivor back. Picard, appropriately, bows and scrapes to avoid offending the Romulan whose man got found in Federation space. Then he lets the guy die because he won't order Worf (whose parents were killed by Romulans and is the only possible donor) to donate blood. Good on Worf. But I digress. Meanwhile Wesley has found a way to guide Geordie to a signal booster. Unfortunately, Geordie gets sucker-punched by ANOTHER Romulan survivor. He comes to without his phaser or communicator. Not long after this, a landslide incapacitates the Romulan and Geordie quickly grabs a handy rock, bashes him a few times to be sure, takes back his phaser and communicator and the Romulan's disruptor, makes his way to the beacon, and gets back to the Enterprise.

Whoops! Just kidding. That's what any sane, non-retarded person would do. Geordie, on the other hand, helps the Romulan to safety, waits for him to recover, and then gripes when the Romulan points his gun at him again. The story continues, but it is all just as spineless and retarded as this. It's the kind of stuff that makes you want to throw shit at the TV because it is so frustrating.

In other news, I had a bottle of my plum wine tonight. I was worried that it would go bad because I don't have a decent wine cellar at the new place, but so far so good. It is tasty and potent. Earlier tonight I picked mulberries. I definitely have enough to make a couple jars of jam. I need to check my recipe book to see if I have enough to make wine or not. It would please me to have a new batch of wine. And it would give me an excuse to do up a new label. I'm thinking a fox, jumping over a mulberry bush while a monkey chases a weasel around it. But I won't do the whole thing in CorelDraw. I'm thinking ink drawing and maybe watercolor, scan and photocopy it.
 

The Question

Eternal
The moral of that Geordie story is that Space Commies are still Commies, and therefore still retards.
 

Brickvader

Watching yall
i watched through season 1-7 six months ago in about 5weeks.

i had a great time watching it. it has some bad episodes but way more are good than bad. imho
 

Volpone

Zombie Hunter
The best would be if, instead of Counselor Troi, Col Jack O'Neill of Stargate: SG-1 sat next to him: "ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR *MIND*?! *KILL* THE REPLICATOR THINGS!" "*SHOOT* THE ROMULAN SHIP THAT HAS VIOLATED FEDERATION SPACE TO RETRIEVE A SPY, KEEP THE SPY AND INTERROGATE HIM TO FIGURE OUT WHAT THE ROMULANS ARE UP TO!" "JUST *SHOOT* THE SPACE RETARDS!"
 

The Question

Eternal
The best would be if, instead of Counselor Troi, Col Jack O'Neill of Stargate: SG-1 sat next to him: "ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR *MIND*?! *KILL* THE REPLICATOR THINGS!" "*SHOOT* THE ROMULAN SHIP THAT HAS VIOLATED FEDERATION SPACE TO RETRIEVE A SPY, KEEP THE SPY AND INTERROGATE HIM TO FIGURE OUT WHAT THE ROMULANS ARE UP TO!" "JUST *SHOOT* THE SPACE RETARDS!"

O'Neill would have made TNG so much more watchable.

LaForge: *spews technobabble*

O'Neill: Guys? Deflector shields? I'm a fan. Phasers? Big fan. But if your universal translator can't translate that into English, I gotta tell ya, somebody was asleep at that particular wheel."
 

Volpone

Zombie Hunter
One of my favorite O'Neill-isms was when they had an invisible assassin and Carter had a plan to rig up a naquada generator: "Sir, if we remodulate the frequency on the naquada generator to a 90 degree phased pulse..." "CARTER!" "Yes sir?" "Will it make they invisible guy visible!?" "Yes sir, it should." "All I needed to know."
 
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