The July 2020 Insanity Predictions Omnibus

[The Question]

Just what it says on the tin. So far, every month of 2020 has brought new and escalating insanity with it -- so let's get the jump on July by predicting what kind of insanity 07/20 will grace us with.

I'll start us off with:

-A rampantly infectious new disease which causes human beings to fart jets of flame.

 

[The Question]

-A fleet of flying saucers invade, but all the aliens do is land their ships in the parking lots of big box stores, key up everybody's cars, then leave.

-Bacon declares war on the human race.

-Flocks of man-eating chickens.

-Zombie apocalypse, except it's only famous musicians who return from the dead. To play their music.

-Hollywood turns vehemently conservative

-Guinea pig uprising.

-Street lights start communicating with each other in Morse code.

 

[The Question]

-Books, when opened by would-be readers, start cursing and yelling.
-Faucets, at random, speak the word, "Drip."
-Bears invade the inner city.
-Clouds form the shape of human faces, stare at humanity creepily
-The sun discovers the snooze button, comes up only to go back down for another five minutes a few times each morning
-Murder Penguins

 

[Loktar]

-FEMA/Trump death/concentration camps
-if Trump emerges from his bunker and sees his shadow, six more weeks of coronavirus and/or rioting and looting.

 

[The Question]

-The concentration camps part is true, but they'll be voluntary summer camps where parents of kids with ADHD send their offspring to learn to concentrate.

 

[Loktar]

-The concentration camps part is true, but they'll be voluntary summer camps where parents of kids with ADHD send their offspring to learn to concentrate.

-Only the ADHD stands for Anti Donald Habitation Dome and attendance isn't voluntary.

 

[The Question]

-The Mysterious and Inscrutable woman known only to the internet as Amber Lamps seizes total dictatorial power of the U.S. plunging us into a thousand years of pumpkin spice lattes.

 

[Loktar]

-loktar breeds with an Ugnaut/Troll hybrid and creates hyper intelligent mutant offspring that overrun and overthrow the planet.