The TK Conspiracy Theory Omnibus 2022

jack

The Legendary Troll Kingdom
I like the one where the toilet pipe breaks while they're counting the votes in GA and they send everyone home but these two black women who as soon as everyone is gone, pull out 6 giant tubs of fried chicken and have a wrestling match in the meat. it's all on camera so it must be true.
 

Mirah

I love you
Charlie Sheen, Sasquatch and Lee Harvey Oswald all conspired to create the 9/11 attacks in order to cover up the fact that the Vatican had hidden secret documents in the World Trade Center and Pentagon that proved the Illuminati had faked the moon landings!

I'm disapointed you left out the part about DB Cooper.
And even more disapointed that I cant' come up with anything better.
 

jack

The Legendary Troll Kingdom
I'm disapointed you left out the part about DB Cooper.
And even more disapointed that I cant' come up with anything better.

You forgot the event where you got Danny Hellman in a compromising position and got him to perjure himself so he lost the 2 million dollar lawsuit to Ted Rall.
 

jack

The Legendary Troll Kingdom
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eloisel

Forever Empress E
The best conspiracy theories right now are the QAnon theories that JFK Jr. is going to come out of hiding and be Trump's vice-president when Tump is declared the true winner of the 2020 election and retakes the office of president. Then, Trump is going to resign as president and JFK Jr. is going to be president forever maybe. The best part of this is the QAnon people have been at Dealey Plaza for a couple of months now waiting for JFK Jr. to show up with Trump. Then, as if that wasn't good enough, there are rumors among the QAnon crowd that JFK Sr. himself attended disguised as Trump the recent rally in Arizona.
 

The Question

Eternal
The existence of a man called Donald Trump is just a conspiracy theory. I can't believe you'd fall for such nonsense.
 

eloisel

Forever Empress E
The existence of a man called Donald Trump is just a conspiracy theory. I can't believe you'd fall for such nonsense.
There is some real truth to that. I'd heard of Trump for several decades before Celebrity Apprentice and knew him to be a fraud, cheat, and liar both in his professional and personal life. Celebrity Apprentice cleaned up his image, scripted, and packaged him and his family for mass television audience consumption and unfortunately that carried over into his being elected as president. Even more unfortunate is his base refuses to see how they've been hoodwinked even when it is glaringly obvious that the guy is still a fraud, cheat, and liar.
 

The Question

Eternal
...a fraud, cheat, and liar.
You seem to be laboring under a misconception; even people who support the man, rather than the message, know all that about him. It's expected. Why? Because being those things is what it takes to get ahead. In anything. You think every politician in D.C., every Grand Poo-Bah in Silicon Valley or on Wall Street, isn't all of those things?

I saw him compared to Biff Tannen from the alternate 1985 of Back To The Future II. Fair comparison. But we don't elect moral paragons. We elect the kind of men who tell bald faced fucking lies like, "Ah did not hayv seckshul relations with that womun." We elect the kind of men who squander blood and treasure on military adventures over fictional fucking WMDs. And, apparently, we also elect dementia-addled geezers with a long history of loudly vocalized racism, including support for segregation and segregationists, the logistical acumen of meerkats, and all the subtlety about using flagrant mafia tactics of a Joe Pesci caricature.

That's the kind of President we elect in this country. So to somehow pretend that Trump is "especially" awful is simply a fucking joke. They've all been awful human beings, all the way back to the motherfucker in the top hat and quaker beard who suspended habeas corpus.

You hate Trump in particular because, from 2015 onward, you've been told to by a system that wanted Hillary Clinton, another fucking awful person. She was the system's choice, and so anyone who opposed her had to be cast as The Bad Guy to make her look heroic. Or at least marginally less like the villain in a Disney animated film. Pretty sure her tendency to bug her eyes out and fucking cackle at people like the Wicked Witch of the Beltway didn't do her any favors on that score.

Then the people did something we weren't supposed to. We didn't pick the System's chosen villain. We picked the other guy. We picked Biff Tannen over the Wicked Witch. We were always going to get a villain, either way -- and we always will -- but we kicked the system in the beanbag by not giving the system what it wanted.

And that, of course, set off a four year fucking tantrum. Well, I say four years... it's still going.
 

eloisel

Forever Empress E
And that, of course, set off a four year fucking tantrum. Well, I say four years... it's still going.
Include the tantrum Republicans and White Supremacists had during the Obama years and apparently there are some Republicans who are even now trying to figure out a way to get an impeachment on Obama's presidential record too.

And, no, I don't hate Trump because someone told me to. I despise him because of his long history of being a creep, an asshole, a fraud, a cheat, a liar, a thief, a pervert, and his attempts to have himself installed as a dictator over this country, to install his children as future dictators of this country, his attempt to appoint his oldest daughter as president of the World Bank, his attempt to get Nancy O'Dell fired because she rejected his sexual advances which he described as "moved on her like a bitch," and the list goes on. My despising him has nothing to do with Hilary Clinton. It has to do with Donald Trump.
 

The Question

Eternal
All of your complaints, in the context of both history and the current crop of D.C. dwellers, only add up to, "Presidential."
 

The Question

Eternal
By the way, if you find that to be a revelation, let alone a somehow disheartening revelation, it's only because you've put public officials on some kind of mental pedestal, imagining them to occupy some higher stratum than we "mere commoners."

That's an unfortunate mental habit you'd do well to break, and you have all the reason you could ever need to break it forthwith. They're not "our betters." They never were. They're greedy, lying, borderline (and often outright) criminal pieces of shit, and every sane human being ought justifiably to regard them as such.
 

eloisel

Forever Empress E
Your BS that corrupt people should run the country reminds me of something my mother used to ask me when I said I did something because everyone else was doing it. "If everyone else jumped off a cliff, you would too?"
 

The Question

Eternal
By the way, remember when Orange-Man-Bad was going to get us into all those wars? How many wars did he get us into?

And where are we at with Russia right now? I'm looking forward to seeing how CNNLOL and MSNBCPUSA spin Biden's upcoming war with Russia into somehow being 45's fault.
 
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