There needs to be a "WTF?!: The most fucking fucked up shit" forum...

[The Question]

Then it'd make both products profoundly stupid.

Sure is more manly to get cancer or emphysema and die like a fuckin' retard, though.

 

[Loktar]

What if the penis had a vape pen built into it?

I'd have to learn to suck my own penis.

 

[jack]

Yeah, I'd have to give up using mine for mailbox baseball if that were the case.....

 

[Volpone]

Do you ever feel guilty that lovely shaved 19 year old girls are taking their clothes off and/or inserting things into their bodies for your amusement and you're too bored with same to look at them? :/

This is the "eat your vegetables, children are starving in China" conundrum. Except I think Internet porn is pretty much everywhere.

Unless you're Amish.

Or Mormon.

 

[The Question]

That's why I watch the really weird shit. None of it is arousing, but at least the weird shit is pretty goddamn funny. Especially sped up to between 1.5x and 2x speed and accompanied by Yakety Sax.

 

[jack]

Amputee midget porn is always a good go-to, I must agree.

 

[The Question]

Amputee midget porn is always a good go-to, I must agree.

Now I'm picturing a fat amputee midget WWE wrestler with the stage name of Nugget.

 

[Chuckles51]

This place is a psychiatrist goldmine!!!

 

[Volpone]

So. Where do you stand on the bukakke continuum?

In the purest, strictly defined sense, bukakke consists of a clothed girl--usually Japanese and wearing some kind of schoolgirl garb--who kneels in the middle of a group of men who masturbate and ejaculate on her face. At the other end of the spectrum, it is more akin to a gangbang.

I tend toward that end of the spectrum. Ideally I'd like the girl to be naked, except for maybe a like coat of oil, a pair of heels and a veterinary Cone of Shame. And she should be free to give the guys handjobs, maybe even suck on a few. But no vaginal or anal. At that point it stops being bukakke and becomes a gangbang.

 

[Loktar]

So. Where do you stand on the bukakke continuum?

In the purest, strictly defined sense, bukakke consists of a clothed girl--usually Japanese and wearing some kind of schoolgirl garb--who kneels in the middle of a group of men who masturbate and ejaculate on her face. At the other end of the spectrum, it is more akin to a gangbang.

I tend toward that end of the spectrum. Ideally I'd like the girl to be naked, except for maybe a like coat of oil, a pair of heels and a veterinary Cone of Shame. And she should be free to give the guys handjobs, maybe even suck on a few. But no vaginal or anal. At that point it stops being bukakke and becomes a gangbang.

Sounds good except for the cone of shame. I'd be worried about too much cum filling the cone and drowning her.

 

[The Question]

Sounds similar to a "Firing Squad" (similar to what Volpone describes, but the girl is bound and made to stand or kneel with her back to a wall while the dudes stand in a line facing her) or an Owl Party (where the girl is given dilating eye drops and placed in a room with only dim lighting that's then dialed up to 100% illumination just as "shots are fired").

 

[jack]

I prefer throatfucking with forced swallowing. Splattering it on her face seems wasteful somehow.

 

[The Question]

I find images of women with jizz on their faces sorta hilarious. "Messy eater" is the first thought that comes to mind, as if the woman sat herself down in front of a big bowl of mashed potatoes with extra gravy, then blurted out, "Dehhh, potato!" and just gleefully shoved her face into it.

 

[Chuckles51]

I find it hot in a slutty sort of way, she’s been a real bad girl, and now needs to be punished!!

 

[The Question]

...and a veterinary Cone of Shame.

Presumably to keep her from licking/gnawing the stitches open...

 

[Volpone]

I just realized the sex doll people are woefully shortsighted. Yes, they make "fantasy" dolls with elf ears and shit, but they're really missing the thing a simulated human can have: Extra orifaces. Why not a 2nd or even 5th vagina? Why not a whole row of assholes right up the spine with a second mouth up front? Why not make a sex doll you can actually fuck in the ear? Shit, why not a pussy that you eat and Scotch comes out? There are opportunities being missed here, people.

 

[Loktar]

Sure and why not kid and baby sex dolls. Maybe we'd have a lot less pedophiles abusing kids and babies if they could safely satisfy their sick urges.

 

[The Question]

Why not inject some humor and make other-than-human-shaped sex toys. Could picture Blackfoot hangin’ out of a watermelon fleshlight with a fried chicken drumstick dildo hangin’ out of his back 40.

 

[jack]

I bought a custom sex doll with a neck vagina

 

[Chuckles51]

Suddenly I feel a lot less freaky!!!