The Question
Eternal
Here you go. Just for you. Couldn't really think of anything to say in it, though. If you think about it, that's really your fault, for being so... unremarkable.
Granted: by all appearances, you're a vapid, authority-loving leftoid. But that hardly distinguishes you from any other online NPC. Sure, you're female -- allegedly. We all sort of have to take your word for that, although it does make sense that you would be, owing to the previous point; after all, it's spoiled women and effeminate men who most commonly fall into the "vapid, authority-loving leftoid" category.
Beyond that, though, there just isn't anything sufficiently remarkable about you to roast you with. Overall, the only descriptor for you that rises by a mere micron or two is... bland.
You're just... so... bland.
In the context of romance (which I feel it's traditional for a roast to touch upon when the target is female; at least, allegedly female) you'd probably be the "safe" choice, though a soul-crushingly boring one. A man could bring you home to meet the parents -- if he was hoping to treat his parents' crippling insomnia. Sex with you would probably be about on par with fucking one of those silicone "love dolls" -- granted, the one upside is that it would only cost the price of a few dates. That would make you the bargain bin alternative to a fuck toy, so you've got that going for you, anyway.
Other than your politics, which are really just CNN's hand-me-downs and nothing you've composed on your own, it's difficult to imagine what else you'd even talk about. Or that you'd even speak on your own at all. A man would probably have to discover your "wake word" before initiating a conversation with you, only to then discover that talking to you is like talking to Amazon's Alexa -- except that your knowledge base is smaller, and most of what you "know" is wrong, in any event. Really, all you'd be good for is to dress you up in lingerie, prop you up on a couch, and ogle your tits occasionally.
I suppose you'd also have to be fed and watered, now and then, so that the "wet cardboard" smell doesn't become a "sour milk" smell.
I hear the "Tradwife" model of fembot at least comes with useful functions. The "Leftoid" model is almost useless other than as decoration. And most of them aren't even good for that.
Granted: by all appearances, you're a vapid, authority-loving leftoid. But that hardly distinguishes you from any other online NPC. Sure, you're female -- allegedly. We all sort of have to take your word for that, although it does make sense that you would be, owing to the previous point; after all, it's spoiled women and effeminate men who most commonly fall into the "vapid, authority-loving leftoid" category.
Beyond that, though, there just isn't anything sufficiently remarkable about you to roast you with. Overall, the only descriptor for you that rises by a mere micron or two is... bland.
You're just... so... bland.
In the context of romance (which I feel it's traditional for a roast to touch upon when the target is female; at least, allegedly female) you'd probably be the "safe" choice, though a soul-crushingly boring one. A man could bring you home to meet the parents -- if he was hoping to treat his parents' crippling insomnia. Sex with you would probably be about on par with fucking one of those silicone "love dolls" -- granted, the one upside is that it would only cost the price of a few dates. That would make you the bargain bin alternative to a fuck toy, so you've got that going for you, anyway.
Other than your politics, which are really just CNN's hand-me-downs and nothing you've composed on your own, it's difficult to imagine what else you'd even talk about. Or that you'd even speak on your own at all. A man would probably have to discover your "wake word" before initiating a conversation with you, only to then discover that talking to you is like talking to Amazon's Alexa -- except that your knowledge base is smaller, and most of what you "know" is wrong, in any event. Really, all you'd be good for is to dress you up in lingerie, prop you up on a couch, and ogle your tits occasionally.
I suppose you'd also have to be fed and watered, now and then, so that the "wet cardboard" smell doesn't become a "sour milk" smell.
I hear the "Tradwife" model of fembot at least comes with useful functions. The "Leftoid" model is almost useless other than as decoration. And most of them aren't even good for that.
