Today in...

[The Question]

Today in #WordsThatDontBelongTogether:

Corgi Orgy

Today in #FactsThatArentTrue:

The "Ren & Stimpy" cartoons were based on the real life adventures of J. Edgar Hoover's multiple personalities.

Today in #NewNamesForThings:

Pocket Size Cave Jumper (tampon)

Today in #RejectedSlogans:

Chevrolet: Free mullet with every purchase!

Today in #RejectedMovieTitles:

It's Not Gay, It's Volleyball! (Top Gun)

Today in #QuestionsNotToAskAtTheDMV:

"Is it okay to bring my emotional support piranha in here?"

Today in #QuestionsNotToAskAtTheMongolianBBQ:

"Excuse me, have you seen this dog?"

 

[The Question]

Today in #WordsThatDontBelongTogether:

Muffin Buffer

Today in #FactsThatArentTrue:

If you drop a nuclear bomb on a Glade factory, the fallout will smell, "delightfully spring fresh."

Today in #FactsThatAreMorbid:

You may not be able to live like a multi-millionaire, but if you throw yourself off a high-rise balcony, odds are pretty damn good that you'll die like at least one.

Today in #InappropriateDinnerTableTopics:

If you can see her nipple rings through her top, chances are she'll bang you for a Big Mac.

Today in #NewNamesForThings:

Meeping Towel (guinea pig)

Today in #RejectedSlogans:

Tesla: Might as well buy our stuff, you're paying for it anyway.

Today in #QuestionsNotToAskOnADate:

"Wanna see what I can do with this fork?"

Today in #QuestionsNotToAskAPriest:

"Y'all got communion vodka?"

 

[The Question]

Today in #WordsThatDontBelongTogether:

Two-fisted Stinkin'

Today in #FactsThatArentTrue:

Accusing a group of nuns of having bad habits will get you free admission to a metal-edged wooden ruler exhibition.

Today in #NewNamesForThings:

Nazi Box (Volkswagen)

Today in #RejectedSlogans:

Beyond Meat: You know the whole premise of our products is a lie, right?

Today in #QuestionsNotToAskAtAnItalianRestaurant:

"So, how many of the kitchen staff are mobbed up?"

 

[The Question]

Today in #WordsThatDontBelongTogether:

Rabbit Mower

Today in #FactsThatArentTrue:

Elvis Presley isn't dead; he's living in a velvet-lined room at the bottom of a well in Oakdale, Tennessee. He lives on a diet of beetles, sugar water, and small clumsy children who don't own border collies.

Today in #NewNamesForThings:

Butt Chuckle (fart)

Today in #FactsThatAreMorbid:

In the event of a wilderness landing, you may find that you'll operate as an emergency meal for a family of four.

Today in #RejectedSlogans:

McDonald's: Come for the Big Mac, stay for the 30 person brawl.

Today in #InappropriateDinnerTableTopics:

"You know, roadkill actually has SO many uses!"

Today in #QuestionsNotToAskAtTheBorderPatrolCheckpoint:

"But do they REALLY count as people if they're in the trunk like luggage?"

 

[The Question]

Today's #NewWord:

Urinize

(v.) To convert a liquid into urine (by drinking it.)

Ex. 1: " 'Scuse me while I urinize this whiskey."
Ex. 2: "Jimmy, don't urinize your grandma's denture water, that's gross."

 

[The Question]

Today in #WordsThatDontBelongTogether:

Colonel Dangle


Today in #FactsThatArentTrue:

If a marshmallow is sharpened until it has a cutting edge, there is no material known to man it can't cut through.


Today in #NewNamesForThings:

Skid Row Back Scratcher (toilet brush)


Today in #RejectedSlogans:

Subaru: Just wait'll you hear what we name the next one!


Today in #QuestionsNotToAskACabbie:

"So, who's in the trunk?"


Today in #WeirdSuperstitions:

If you step on a crack, and your mama's already got a broken back, her back heals instantly. But everything else breaks.