Wacky Reviews: Star Trek

Cassie

Touching the monolith
Staff member
After three pretty bad episodes Before and After seemed great.
 

CaptainWacky

I want to smell dark matter
TRUE, I remember the first time I watched it I thought it was amazing because of all the time travel but watching it now I realised it was a bit weird. But still good.
 

whisky

Boobie inspector
I have no memory of the sexy women planet, and you would think that would be the sort of thing I would remember. Maybe its because of it being a Harry episode, he cancelles out the sexy.
 

Cassie

Touching the monolith
Staff member
If you watch it like it's supposed to be funny, then it isn't so bad! lol
 

CaptainWacky

I want to smell dark matter
Real Life - The Doctor says goodbye to his family(!?) as he heads to work. They're all perfect and love him. Voyager's supposed to meet with a station of alien scientists but finds the station destroyed. B'Elanna has...a braid in her hair? I don't remember this at all! She wants to meet the Doc's new family so he invites her and Kes for dinner. His wife calls him Kenneth. B'Elanna is sickened by his perfect family and freezes the program. She tells Kenneth he'll learn nothing because they're not a realistic family. Voyager encounters what can only be described as a subspace tornado. It disappears but Voyager decides to investigate for weak reasons ("maybe we can get some energy from it or something!") B'Elanna reprograms the Doc's family to make them more random. That means his house is now a mess, his son is listening to loud Klingon music, and his daughter's a brat. Some Klingon kids come round to do drugs with his son (or something.) Tom finds B'Elanna reading a Klingon romance novel. The tornado shows up again. They come up with a plan to collect energy in a shuttle piloted by Tom. The Doc tells Tom he's come up with a plan to treat his lousy family. He has a family meet where he tells them the new rules they have to follow. One rule is that his son can't have any Klingon friends ("why can't you find some nice Vulcan friends?") which is pretty racist. Even his wife disagrees with the rules and tells Kenneth off for not discussing them with her. His daughter does tell him he's a good father and she loves him which is nice at least (he's worried about her playing Parrises Squares.)

Tom's shuttle is sucked into subspace by the tornado (guess what, the transporters don't work!) so I guess he's dead now. Actually Tom manages to contact them from wherever he is right away. The Doc hides from his family in Sickbay but Kes tells him not to ignore them. His finds his son's Klingon friend has a knife. He firguers out that his son is going to use it to bcome a warrior and kicks the Klingons out. His son tells him he's embarrassing and stuff. His son tells him he's going to run off to become a Klingon. Then his wife calls to tell him their daughter's had an accident playing Parrises Squares. The Doctor tries to treat her but can't. She's going to die. His daughter asks him when she's going to be able to see again as sad music plays so the Doc shuts down the program. Tom explores tornado land and tells Janeay the only way out is to ride a tornado. It's a rough ride but of course he gets out alive. The Doc gets angry at him for taking stupid risks, but of course he's really upset about his daughter. Tom convinces him to go back to the program because death is a part of life and he can't duck out of the sad parts of having a family. He tells his daughter she's going to die as the sad music gets sadder and she asks him to stay with her. His son shows up too as a dying sibling can bring families together. She dies. And of course we'll never see or hear anything of the family again.

It does make sense that the Doctor would do something like this as he tries to become more human. And the set-up with him making the famiily perfect and B'Elanna repogramming them to be more realistiic is good (even if they seem to go a bit extreme in the other direction.) But then his daugheter is dying and I find it all too melodramtic and manipulative. Yeah I know children die sometimes, but what are the odds his daughter would die five minutes after B'Elanna repgorams the holodeck? It's almost as if she killed the daughter just to teach the Doc a lesson. I find it hard to feel too sad when she dies because she isn't real and she's never going to be seen or mentioned again (compare to Lal who we got to know as a character before she died and was mentioned again several times.) It just turns the show into a soap opera and it doesn't do much for me despite the good acting from Picardo (and the kid isn't bad.) Tom riding tornados is just a thing to fill up time. It's fine, but feels a bit random compared to the Doc's plot. Anyway this isn't an episode I find hugely appealing but I can see other people liking it more.

SCORE: 6.5/10


Distant Origin - Some lizard aliens are on the planet from 'Basics' and find a human skull (Hogan's, I assume), saying it could be the most improtant discovery in Voth history. They seem to believe their species are related to humans and they come from the same planet. They head to their city ship to talk to the Ministry of Elders. Most in their species believe the Voth were the first intelligent species to evolve in their area of space and the elders aren't impressed by the bone discovery. They tell Professor Gegen (that's our main guy) to consider the implications of what he's saying. Gegen's daughter tells her father to let it go because it's too radical a theory but Gegen says he's disappointed in her and doesn't want their spcies held back by ignorance. Gegen's assistant warns him he's about to be arrested, so Gegen heads off looking for Voyager (the assistant insists on coming too.) They find the space station at the Nekrid Expanse and find the warp plasma Neelix apparently left there (didn't he blow it up?) They find Voyager and follow it in their out of phase ship. They beam over and I guess have personal phasiing fields since no one can see them. They watch Tom and B'Elanna flirt. They witness Harry detect their cloaking device and Tuovk puts a forcefield around them. They're chased around the ship and decloaked by Chakotay shooting at them. The assistant hits Chakotay with a dart and Gegen beams out with Chuckles. Gegen tells Chakotay they were just on an expidition and asks him if any Voth live on Earth. The Doc examines the assistant's DNA and finds he evolved on Earth. There's a bit with the Doc and Janeway on the Holodeck where the writers once again fail to understand how evolution works, but basically conclude the Voth are evolved dinosaurs.

Gegen admits to Chakotay he was prejudiced against warm-blooded species. He's arranged to meet his supporters and can't let Chakotay go home yet as he's the only evidence that can stop his arrest. Voyager itself is beamed inside the Voth's city ship. Tuvok is hit by a dart and the dinosaurs very easily take Voyager. Gegen is contacted and told that the Elders will destroy Voyager if he doesn't go back and face his trial. Chakotay tells him he'll be his evidence in the trial. Tom manages to get weapons control and threatens to shoot a hole in the city ship, but the Voth manage to disable the weapons. Gegen's trial begins. He's accused of using his distant origin theory to undermine their society. They ask him to disavow his claims but Gegen refuses and says Chuckles is his proof. The judge says her own scientists have ruled that humans aren't related to them. Chakotay brings up they have data on millions of other Earth species related to the Voth but she doesn't really care about facts. The assistant is brought in and testifies that Gegen's theory is flawed. He's been gotten to. Gegen won't recant his theory and tells the judge this trial is a farce meant to keep the Elders in power. Chakotay makes a speech about how the judge is full of shit. She says the distant origin theory appals her and the Voth aren't stinky immigrants. Chakotay says the theory actually shows the Voth boldly launghing themselves into space when facing extinction and somehow thriving tens of thousands of light years from home. The judge rules Chakotay is no longer allowed to be a scientist and must be imprisoned, and Voyager will be too. Gegen finally recents his theory so Voyager can go free. Chakotay gives Gegen a tiny globe of Earth and Gegen says someday every Voth will see it as home.

There's some stupid stuff in this episode, sure. Like the idea that dinosaurs evolved into intelligent life but apparently didn't explore their home planet or leave any evidence of their existence. They just flew off 70,000 light years instead. And the usual lack of understanding of how evolution works. If you can get past that, though, it's very good, possibly the best of the season. I like how it opens from Gegen's point of view. I like how serious the trial scene is and how it actually gives Chakotay something to do and lets Beltran act a bit! I like that there's none of the usual b-story silliness (like the tornados last week) or "shields at 23%!" scenes. It feels like an attempt to do intelligent science fiction, even if the science is actually pretty bad.

SCORE: 9/10
 

CaptainWacky

I want to smell dark matter
Displaced - Tom and B'Elanna have one of their typical arguments (she doesn't like Klingon stuff.) An alien who looks exactly like a human but with a hat appears in front of them and asks why they've abducted him. It soon turns out that Kes went missing at the exact time he appeared (it's always Kes this stuff happens to.) Harry disappears next (no great loss), then a bunch of randoms, all replaced by aliens. They don't seem hostile but Janeway is worried that the aliens are slowly replacing her crew. She disappears and Chuckles takes over. B'Elanna thinks a "baby wormhole" is responsible and works with an alien scientist. B'Elanna suspects it isn't a naturaul phenomenom and the alien moves her to the front of the line, sending her to where the rest of the crew are, under armed guard. Chakotay finally realises something is up and there's some phaser fighting between the remaining crew and the hat aliens. Chuckles tries to sabotage the ship before the aliens can totally take over and shuts down the warp core. The aliens try to delete the Doctor but Chakotay downloads him into the mobile emitter, taking him to the aliens compound. A hat alien explains that they aren't a cruel people and they've created an environment comofortable for the crew while they steal Voyager.

A generic lizard alien from a neighbouring compound comes to welcome the Voyager crew. He's got a secret portal that leads to his environment and Janeway wants to know more. B'Elanna apologises to Tom for being rude in the teaser but they're soon arguing again (with the Doctor making observations about their personality.) There's a time filling scene between Chakotay and Tuvok. B'Elanna uses the Doctor as a kind of tricorder to search for another portal. He finds a secret corridor which has doors to other environments. There's lots of them and they're all massive (yes these hat aliens can build gigantic environments for thousands of aliens but apparently can't just build their own starships.) Oh and they're actually on a starship, of course. Why did they have to steal Voyager again? There's another corridor phaser fight between hat aliens and Voyager crewmembers. Tom and B'Elanna hide in a snowy compound because the aliens hate the cold. They get stuck in a cold cave together and have to rub each other and stuff. Janeway and Tuvok imporbably gain control of the translocation system and swap the hat guy leader with Tom and/or B'Elanna. Janeway tells them to stand down and has them all transported into their own prison. She contacts the other aliens who have been held too, she says, but we don't see any of them. Tom and B'Elanna hang out in Club Neelix.

This is the very definition of an average Voyager episode. It's not terrible but it's not very good either. Stuff happens. It's mostly inoffensive and a bit stupid but I don't care about any of it. The plot doesn't hold up to any scruitny and really it would have been more interesting if the crew were just being randomly swapped places with the hat aliens and if we'd got more scenes of them interacting with the other prisoners (we see literally only one of them.) As it is, this episode exists.

SCORE: 5/10


Worst Case Scenario - Chakotay is being weird with B'Elanna, hinting that the Maquis (and even some of the Starfleet crew) are ready to mutiny against Janeway. He wants to know what side she's on. Everyone's talking like the Maquis have only just come onboard and B'Elana's an Ensign and it's weird. Janeway is going to be off ship for a while. The mutiny begins and B'Elanna takes Chakotay's side by shooting Harry. Chakotay speaks to Jonas by comm but Jonas is dead! Seska(!) still a Bajoran helps Chakotay and Torres. Neelix turns out to be a traitor too and Seska offers to shoot him just because he's Neelix. Chakotay offers the imprisoned crew a choice between joining him or being kicked off the ship. Tom walks in at this point and B'Elanna says "freeze program!" Yep, it was a holonovel all along! B'Elanna found it but doesn't know who wrote it. Things go back to the start, but with Tom playing the B'Elanna role this time. He tells Chakotay he knows he's planning a mutiny and he wants in. But when the moment comes, Tom takes the Starfleet side. He's taken prisoner with Tuvok, Harry and the others. Tuvok wants to wait before retaking the ship. Tom takes Chakotay's side when he makes his speech. Neelix talks to Tom and B'Elanna after, he's been playing the holonovel too. So has the Doctor. Tom plays the game again and goes full mutineer this time. Janeway (and holo Tom) returns to the ship and warns Chuckles she'll retake it. Chakotay blows up her shuttle but Janeway has beamed over. Tom faces off with himself but the program ends with the computer stating that there's no more story.

Janeway finds out about the program and wants to know who wrote it. Tuvok confesses that he wrote it, as a tactical training scenario, back when the Maquis first joined the crew. He gave up on it when it became obvious the Voyager writers were never going to do anything with the whole Starfleet/Maquis conflict (okay that's not what he says.) Tom just wants him to finish the story. Tuvok is worried it could cause problems between the crew and wants to delete it, but Janeway tells him to loosen up and write the fucking story. Tom is going to write the story himself but Tuvok start nitpicking his plot developments. It's kind of a meta scene with the Voyager writers complaining about how hard it is to write an interesting story but stay logical. Torres and Neelix try to get involved in the writing too. Tom and Tuvok go to the Holodeck to write the end of the story, but find the Doctor there with his own list of suggestions (Tuvok has him removed.) Tuvok tries to make alterations to the story but something goes wrong. Tom and Tuvok end up int he holo bring where holo Seska tells them she's angry that Tuvok spied on them and wrote this holonovel, so she's wrote a new ending herself. Oh and they can't got out the Holodeck and the safeties are off as always. Tom wants to try to help holo Janeway retake the ship, but Tuvok points out that they don't know what Seska has programmed Janeway to do. Janeway's phaser rifled explodes and kills her. Holo Seska has programmed holo Chakotay to kiss her because she's a holo perv. They go to holo Sickbay where the holo EMH injects Paris with nitric acid and beats up Tuvok. This is funny. The real Janeway plots to rewrite the Seska hologram. Janeway makes helpful items appears for Tom and Tuvok in the Holodeck. But Seska's program improbably starts fighting back against the changes Janeway is making (how the fuck did Seska manage to do all this back in season one?) Seska tries to exectue Tom and Tuvok but Janeway rewrites Chakotay to save them. Seska just shoots Chakotay. Janeway has some aliens show up to help, but Seska tries to self destruct the ship. B'Elanna reports this will improbably make the real Holodeck explode. Tuvok gives up his phaser rifle, but he's sabotaged it and it kills Seska when she tries to shoot them. The crew suggest Tom and Tuvok write a Western or detective story next (LIKE IN TNG!!!)

It feels like two plots stuck together. The first half is all about the crew having fun with the holonovel and I like it. I like how it all plays out like a videogame, with the player making choices that effect the outcome of the story. I like the scenes where everyone is discussing after it and the stuff with Tom and Tuvok arguing over how to finish the story is fun too. Then all of that is COMPLETELY FORGOTTEN and in the last fifteen minutes it turns into a Holodeck malfunction episode. There's fun parts to that (the scene with the evil Doctor is great) but it doesn't have much relation to the earlier story. And it makes no sense that Seska would be offended at Tuvok spying on the Maquis and writing the Maquis as traitors when Seska herself was spying the Maquis and betrayed the whole crew! It feels, ironically, like the writers didn't have an ending to the story (just like Tuvok didn't have an ending within the story) so tacked on the Holodeck malfunction stuff to use up the remaining runtime. That said, it's still pretty good.

SCORE: 7.5/10
 

CaptainWacky

I want to smell dark matter
Scorpion: Part 1 - Two Borg Cube are flying through space through space telling someone they're about to be assimilated. Whoever it is blows them the fuck up. As teasers go this is an all time great. Janeway hangs out with Leonardo da Vinci in the Holodeck, played by John Rhys-Davies, a good actor who has played some great characters ("...AXE!") but also happens to be a racist piece of shit in real life. She gives him advice on his flying machine. A long range probe sneds a report back to Voyager that they're about to enter Borg Space (you'd think someone in that space station at the edge of the Nekrid Expanse or Kes's gypsy boyfriend would have known Borg Space was so near?) The probe finds a way through Borg Space, an area with no Borg activity, and Chakotay calls it the Northwest Passage. Janeway tells the crew she has faith in them (even Neelix) as they get ready for the Borg in a SERIOUS MONTAGE. The Doctor tries to come up with a way to stop assimilation using the Borg corpse found earlier in the season. He says the word "nanoprobes" and I think that's the first time it's been said (relating to the Borg) in Trek? I don't think First Contact actually explained what was happening when the Borg inserted their tubes into redshirts. Kes has a vision of dead Borg bodies and the destruction of Voyager. FIFTEEN Borg Cubes(!) head towards Voyager...and most fly right by it. One scans Voyager (Janeway says "think good thoughts") and then flies away. Later Janeway reads the log entries of every Starfleet commander to encounter the Borg (yes it's a chance to mention Picard by name!) to Chakotay (he claims she did a "pretty good Picard" but she didn't really.) Janeway tells Chuckles she can't imagine a day without him. Aww. Voyager catches up with the 15 cubes they saw earlier and finds them all destroyed by a weapon of unknown origin. They spot some weird lifeform hanging out on one of the wrecked cubes and Janeway decides to send Chakotay, Tuvok and Harry over to get a closer look. The cube is all messy on the inside too and there's drones spazzing out and stuff. It's a cool scene which gets even better when they find a fucking sculpture made out of dead Borg bodies (which resembles Kes's vision.) They find a crazy drone trying to assimilate part of the organic matter (Tuvok mentions that the Breen use organic ships and I'm mad we didn't see that in DS9.)

Kes has a vision of Harry in pain. Harry detects another lifeform in the cube just as Janeway orders them beamed out. Guess what? Voyager's transporters don't work! B'Elanna comes up with the idea of a "skeletal lock": beaming them over by locking onto their bones. That's...a thing. The lifeform turns out to be a big CGI thing (which still looks pretty decent) and it pimp slaps Harry. Kes reports the creature sent her a psychic message: "the weak shall perish." Harry is horribly infected by the alien with horrible lessions all over him. The alien cells are EATING him, the Doctor reports, while conscious. Ouch. That's the end of Harry then. Well the Doc hopes he can use Borg nanoprobes to cure Harry, but who knows if that'll work. B'Elanna finds from the Borg database that the aliens are known as Species 8472...and the Northwest Passage is full of their bioships. That's why there's no Borg there. Voyager witnesses 8472 ships flying through portals and Kes reports that it's an invasion and Species 8472 intend to destroy everything. Janeway has an emergency chat with Chakotay. They can't use the Northwest passage and she doesn't want to give up and turn around. Janeway visits Gimli again and they watch shadows on the wall together. She gets the idea that if she can't appeal to God maybe she can make an appeal...to the Devil. She proposes to the crew making an alliance with the Borg: give them a way to defeat Species 8472 (that the Doctor is woringon to cure Harry) in exchange for safe passage through Borg space. Everyone asks questions but Chakotay, who only speaks when the others leave. He thinks it's too risky and tells Janeway the story of the scorpion and the fox. You probably know it (the scorpion stings the fox even though it drowns them both because it's the scorpion's nature.) Hey it's great that Beltran's getting to act in this episode. They argue it out with Chakotay wanted to retreat and explore the rest of the DQ and Janeway still being against that. Chakotay brings up that it would be wrong to help the Borg assimilate another spcies. Janeway thinks maybe some species deserve assimilating(!) but Chakotay says she's just justifying it to herself. Janeway sadly declares she is alone afterall. Janeway contacts the Borg but they just give her the usual line about assimilation. She points out that if they assimilate Voyager she'll have the data she has on 8472 destroyed. Janeway's beamed over and speaks directly to the collective (no Queen here though.) She demands safe passage before turning over her intel. But Species 8472 attack the Cube Janeway is on and Voyager can't beam her out. Species 8472 BLOW UP A WHOLE PLANET flinging Voyager and the Borg Cube through space and that's your cliffhnager.

This is the best episode of Voyager yet. I'm confident saying that without even thinking about it. There's been other great episdoes, with 'Death Wish' I'd say coming closest to achieving perfection (if it wasn't for those silly Janeway/Q scenes), but this one beats the all. It feels more serious, more important, more real than any episode so far. Introudicing a species that are even more dangerous than the Borg is the right way to go and results in Janeway making the highly questionable suggestion that they team up with the Borg. Chakotay makes a compelling argument as to why she's wrong. The viewer might agree with him, but we also understand why she makes the decision. It's real proper drama! In Voyager!

SCORE: 10/10


Scorpion: Part 2 - Voyager still can't beam Janeway off the cube. She contacts them and tells them to stop trying. She's made an agreement with the collective: they'll work on a weapon to defeat Species 8472 on the way back to the Alpha Quadrant. Part of the deal is she stays on the Cube. With Tuvok, because why not. Chakotay is extremely skepctical but follows her orders. The Doctor injects Harry with special nanoprobes and it makes some of the alien cells disappear. The Doc isn't sure his cure will work as a weapon of war. Kes has an episode after she detects 8472 watching her. The Borg want to assimilate Janeway and Tuvok to make the work go smoother. She refuses and suggests the Borg talk through a single representative. They pick a female drone known as Seven of Nine(!) She wants Janeway to make a weapon of mess destruction but Kathryn argues her down to a smaller weapon. Kes continues to have visions and the Doc thinks something more is going on. Janeway and Seven continue to clash with Janeway managing to keep the upper hand. Harry, fully healed already, returns to the Bridge. Species 8472 attack the Borg Cube and destroy it. Janeway, Tuvok, Seven and a load of drones beam over to a cargo bay just in time. Chakotay and Seven have a tense stand-off (who would guess they'll date one day!) Janeway has been badly injured and Doc has to put her in a coma. She might die! Really! She orders Chakotay to make the alliance work before going into her coma. Seven wants Chakotay to turn the ship around but he refuses to alter their initial agreement.

Chakotay tells the senior staff that he's going to end the alliance and drop the Borg off. Seven threatens to assimilate the whole ship but Chakotay says he'll throw all the drones into space if she tries, bitch. Seven makes a speech about how bad humans are compared to the collective. Chuckles asks comatose Janeway for forgiveness. Species 8472 continue to destroy millions of Borg. The collective tells Seven that she must take control of Voyager. The Borg try to get out the cargo bay so Chakotay depressurises it and blows most of them out into space. Of course Seven manages to stay onboard. She opens up a portal thing and takes Voyager into Species 8472's space. It's fluidic space! It's gross. Species 8472 are heading right for Voyager so Seven tells Chakotay he has no choice but to finish the weapon now. Chakotay realises that the Borg started the war by travelling to fluidic space and trying to assimilate Species 8472. By doing so they opened the door for 8472 to come to our galaxy. Janeway wakes from her coma and talks with Chakotay. She's disappointed he broke the alliance at the first opporutinity but he poitns out that the Borg are liars and they started the war. Janeway makes the call to fight with aliens with the Borg. Chakotay wants to get rid of Seven and take their chances alone. There's two wars going on! Chuckles remembers that Seven said their individual nature would be their undoing and they're proving her point by arguing. Janeway says they have to stop fighting and come together but remain individual. She meets with Seven on the Bridge and tells her she's confined Chakotay to his quarters (this is an obvious lie!) It's time to go to war. The ship is modified with the new weapons and Borg tech before 8472's ships arrive. They talk through Kes, saying Voyager's galaxy is "impure" and threatns their "genetic integrity". It will be "purged". This is all worth remembering for an episode next season! Voyager manages to destroy four 8472 ships with their nanoprobes (after a bit of a delay) and opens a portal to go back to their home universe. 8472 ships follow them and Voyager has to blow more of them up. All the 8472 ships return home (Seven reports) now that they know the Borg can defeat them. Janeway says it's time for Seven to hold up her end of the agreement but of course she tries to assimilate Voyager instead. Janeway contacts Chakotay and says "scropion!" Chakotay links his mind with Seven's (he was assimilated last season remember) and reminds her of being a young human girl on Earth. Her name is Annika. Her connection to the collective is severed. Chakotay visits Janeway in da Vinci's workshop reporting that it will take weeks to remove the Borg modifications from Voayger. Janeway says they're responisble for Seven of Nine now and have to off her the one thing the Borg cannot: friendship. Chakotay apologises for disobeying her orders and she says the important thing is they got through it together.

Okay it's not as good as part one, but it's still a top level Voyager episode. The main problems are that the Janeway/Chakotay conflict is wrapped up too easily and we don't really learn anything new about Species 8472. But everything involving Seven is great and I did enjoy Chakotay using his previous assimilation to defeat her. So overall it's a great two-parter and some of the best stuff Voyager will ever do.

SCORE: 9/10
 

CaptainWacky

I want to smell dark matter
The Gift - Voyager is still all Borged up on the outside! Continuity! And the cargo bay is still full of Borg alcoves, in one of which sleeps Seven of Nine. Janeway, the Doc and Tuvok wake her to tell her that they won't return her to the Borg (despite her insisting they do) and that her body is rejecting her implants. The Doctor has to do emergency surgery to remove some from her skull and Kes suddenly discovers her telekenetic abilities are more powerful. Chakotay tells Janeway they're having a hard time removing the Borg modifications and Janeway suggests Seven could help. She reads up on Seven's (real name Annika Hansen) parents who went on a mysterious journey into deep space without telling anyone where they were going (I'm noting this because I'm pretty sure it's contradicted later.) The Doc tells Janeway he has to remove all Borg implants from Seven to save her life (Tuvok insists on standing guard while Seven is in Sickbay.) Kes uses the power of her mind to do PSYCHIC SURGERY and remove and implant that's threatening Seven's life. Doc shows Janeway the artificial eye he's made for Seven then wakes her up. She's looking a bit more human but claims she'd rather die than live outside the collective. Janeway tries to convince Seven to become a productive member of the crew and finally gets through by saying "YOU MUST COMPLY." Seven goes to Engineering to help B'Elanna and Harry (who grins like an idiot.) She clashes with B'Elanna, of course. Tuvok gives Kes lessons on manipulating a flame at the subatomic level. She manages to not set his skin on fire this time! Kes claims to be able to see beyond the subatomic and I don't know what that even means. Harry makes hilariously bad smalltalk with Seven. She knocks him out and tries to send a message to the Borg. Kes detects this with her mind and stops Seven with her mind.

Tuvok tells Kathryn that Seven got part of a message out and Kes's abilities are growing so fast that it might not be safe for her to stay on Voyager. Janeway tells Seven that it'll take time but she'll eventually get over being a Borg and become an individual. Seven asks her if when this happens will Janeway let her choose to return to the collective. Janeway says she'll keep Seven until she's sure she's human and Seven says Janeway is no different than the Borg. Neelix and Kes drink Talaxian champaign (I bet it's literally Neelix's piss) together. They talk about how much things have changed and Kes says she'll always love Neelix. It's a pretty nice scene between them, really, until Kes starts talking about how she can see beyond matter now and she's going to go and live between the atoms soon or something. She accidentally hurts Neelix and nearly tears a hole in the ship. Tuvok and Janeway walk in to find her all glowy. Kes wants to hang around Sickbay because she misses the Doctor. Seven tries to break out again and Janeway gives her another talking to. Seven's having a breakdown about being alone now. Janeway shows her a photo of Annika but Seven just throws it away. Janeway finally remembers to talk to Kes too. Kes wants to leave Voyager (too bad those gypsies are on the other side of Borg space.) She thinks she's transforming into something else. Janeway thinks maybe Kes is getting over excited about her new atom powers but Kes convinces her that she knows what she's doing. Janeway gets emotional saying goodbye to her. Kes starts to change right away and starts blowing stuff up. Janeway tries to get her to a shuttle (the transporter doesn't work...ever.) Tuvok mind melds with her to try to help her regain control. Kes gets out to space and goes full glowy. She and her shuttle disappear somewhere and she leaves a final gift for Voyager, sending them hurtling through space at an impossible speed (but not lizard evolving speed.) Tom reports they're 9.5 thousand light years from where they were, through Borg space and ten years closer to home. That's nice but it's a shame she couldn't just send them all he way, isn't it. The Doc has removed 82% of Seven's Borg implants and she looks human other than a couple of Borg thingies on her face. He's also made her a ridiculously tight silver outfit and given her high heels to walk on because he's a pervert. Seven tells Janeway she won't try to assimilate her again and Annika's favourite colour was red. Tuvok puts a Vulcan candle in his window for Kes and there's a cool tracking shot pulling out to show the ship.

There's two plots playing out here and one is much better than the other. Obviously it's the Seven plot that's better: Kate Mulgrew and Jeri Ryan establish their great chemistry right away and it's all very compelling and believable stuff. Then there's the horribly rushed Kes stuff. They decided to axe her, FOR WHATEVER REASON, and also decided to just do her whole leaving story in one episode. It's ridiculous how fast she goes from being able to move a hypospray with her mind to turning into atoms or whatever she does at the end. Her powers have hardly been a thing since 'Cold Fire' in season two and suddenly we're supposed to think it makes sense that she can't remain on the ship because she'll make everything blow up? They could have at least tied it in to her experience with 8472 last week but they don't even mention that. It's a sad end to what was a good character once. Her scenes with Neelix and Janeway are pretty good though.

SCORE: 7.5/10


Day of Honor - Seven tells Chakotay she wants a duty assignment. B'Elanna is having a bad day and snaps at Vorik (yep he's still around this season, which I forgot.) Tom wants her to do some Klingon ritual but she's not to excited about it. Chakotay tells her Seven wants to work in Engineering but B'Elanna doesn't trust the Borg. Chuckles orders her too. Janeway asks Seven of Nine if she would rather be called Annika but she doesn't like it. She agrees to go just by "Seven" which is lucky because I've already been typing it. Voyager comes across some space refugees whose planet was assimilated by the Borg. Janeway agrees to help them. B'Elanna asks Seven if she feels guitly when she meets people like the space refugees. Seven says guilt is irrelevant. Neelix makes Blood Pie for B'Elanna for her Klingon Day of Honor but she doesn't want it. He offers to let B'Elanna blow off steam by insulting him (SHOULDN'T BE TOO HARD.) I've actually noticed they've toned Neelix way down this season and he's actually effective as morale officer here. I wonder how long it will last. B'Elanna admits her mother's old rituals don't seem as hateful now and agrees to eat the Blood Pie. She eats the heart of a Targ into the instructions of a holographic Klingon. He describes all the rituals she has to take part in and she's just not into it. She beats him up when other holo Klingons start jabbing her with painsticks. Tom asks B'Elanna whats up and tells her she should have done the ritual because it's part of who she is. She tells him to fuck off and he does. The Captain of the space refugees turns into an asshole pretty quickly, calling the Voyager crew greedy and demanding more food. He then sees Seven and starts shouting "WHERE DID YOU TAKE MY WIFE AND CHILDREN" as if she'd know. Seven tells Tom she isn't bothered that people hate her. He says everyone has a past and he'll help her adjust to life on Voyager if she wants him to. Voyager does a test on the transwarp drive Seven and B'Elanna have been working on. It goes wrong and B'Elanna has to eject the warp core. We actually see it being ejected into space this time and it's pretty cool.

B'Elanna and Tom go to get the core in a shuttle. They find the space refugees trying to steal the core, the fucking assholes. The message of this episode seems to be "don't help refugees!" which is pretty weird for Star Trek. B'Elanna warns them that they could blow the core if they're not careful. Their shuttle somehow gets destroyed (iwasn't looking) and they have to go out into space in the spacesuits from the hit movie Star Trek: First Contact. The assholes get away with the core. They float through space together and send a technobabble message to Voyager. Tom decides to flirt with her anyway. Janeway questions Seven about the accident in Engineering. She wants to know if Seven sabotaged the ship. Seven points out that deception is impossible among the Borg. Tom and B'Elanna are still floating. They talk about B'Elanna's time in the Academy until Tom's oxygen starts to leak. They have to share, but they'll run out in half an hour. Voyager gets their message but an armada of space asshole refugees approaches them to rob them. They want more of Voyager's resources and Seven handed over. Tom and B'Elanna are feeling groggy as they run out of oxygen. B'Elanna thinks it's ironic to die on the day of honour. She admits she pusehs people away so she won't get hurt. They touch their helmet together (it's kind of like kissing!) Seven volunteers to surrender herself to the assholes but Janeway obviously says no. She uses her Borg knowledge to come up with a way to help the aliens (she didn't suggest it before because the Borg don't give technology away.) Janeway is impressed by Seven's act of kindness. She builds a device and the asshole lets them go. Did all of this happen in under half an hour? Believeing she's about to die, B'Elanna tells Tom she doesn't want to die without honour and that she loves him. Aww. Voyager beams their hugging bodies to safety in time (oh yeah the assholes gave the warp drive back.)

It's a good B'Elanna episode. I was pleased that she just ditches the Klingon stuff early and we don't get loads of scenes of her eating gagh (hi Gagh) or anything and it becomes about her and Tom's relationship. Seven continues to be a strong character. The aliens were annoying.

SCORE: 8/10
 

CaptainWacky

I want to smell dark matter
Nemesis - Some soldier guys are sneaking through a jungle with guns. They find Chakotay. They talk a bit like Firefly characters and use words like "nemesis" and "glimpse." Chakotay's shuttle has been shot down (sigh) by some evil aliens the soldier guys are at war with. He spends a night with the soldiers and talks to a young one who has never faced the enemy. He tells Chuckles that their enemy are beasts who all wear the same horrid face. Chakotay suspects this is a bit racist. One of the dudes accomapnies Chakotay on his trip through the jungle and tells him about the nemesis raping sisters while Chakotay sticks to the usual Starfleet lines. They're attacked by the nemesis (they look a bit like Predator) and Chakotay's companion dies before the others arrive to save them. Chakotay reluctantly accepts an alien gun and is taught how to use it. His young friend blames himself for the other guy dying. There's more walking through the jungle and weird talking (I do appreciate the work the writer did to make their use of language sound a bit weird!) and death. Chakotay begins to see why his new friends see the enemy as beasts, especially after his young friend dies. Chakotay is separated from the others and ends up in a friendly village.

We finally cut to Voyager (halfway through the episode. That's a lot of Chakotay.) Janeway wants to plan his rescue and contact the ambassador and stuff. The villagers treat Chakotay as a hero and he feels ashamed. He makes friends with a little girl. Wonder if she'll die soon! The villagers give him provisions and he heads out again (with letters for the little girl's brother.) The nemesis attack the village just after Chakotay leaves and he's captured. It's finally decided Tuvok will lead a rescue mission (normally they'd already be looking by now.) Chakotay is locked up with his little girl friend and tires to get help for her grandfather but the evil aliens just beat him up. The nemesis take all the old people to be killed and take the little girl to be killed too after she cries about her grandad. Chakotay gets beated up some more. The ambassador beams onto Voyager. Big twist: he's one of the beatsts! Chakotay is rescued by one of the soldier guys. Chakotay is using their language quite a bit now. There's more shooting. One of the beasts comes across Chakotay and claims to be Tuvok. Chakotay sees him as the enemy but Tuvok tells him he's been brainwashed. Chakotay finally starts hearing Tuvok's real voice and sees his face, but doesn't believe the nemesis are really nice guys. Tuvok shows him he was brainwashed by some kind of simulation by returning to the village Chakotay saw massacred, with all the villagers back alive. Back on Voyager, the Doc and Janeway explain none of it was real but the final battle Chakotay fought. It was all designed to make him hate the enemy. Thepredator ambassador apologises to Chakotay for everything but Chakotay still feels hatred for his species and walks away.

I like the twist here a lot. It's very Star Trek. The ending with Chakotay being unable to let go of his hatred is great. And I like how the alien use of language is used to indocrinate Chakotay and how he's using their phrases by the end. The problem is that the episode is just a tad boring when Chakotay is going through the "make new friends/watch them die" cycle. Yes there's a point to it all so that makes it easier to get through, but it's still a lot of scenes of (purposely) cliched war movie stuff before Chakotay is won over to their side. It's a worthy episode though, if you can get through all the talking and walking through jungles.

SCORE: 8/10


Revulsion - Some kind of pale hologram on an alien ship sends a distress call saying his crew are dead. There's a dinner for Tuvok as he's promoted to Lt. Commander. Tom and Harry tell a "funny" story about rigging the ship so that it said "live long and prosper" every time Tuvok pressed a button. That's why Tuvok's promoted and Harry isn't. Tom mentions to B'Elanna that it's been "three days" since she said she loved him (this episode was supposed to air before 'Nemesis'.) They kiss and are interrupted by the Doctor, who needs Paris to return to Sickbay as the new nurse (continunity from season one! But annoyingly no mention of Kes.) Voager picks up the distress signal and the Doctor insists they respond to help his fellow hologram. Harry is assigned to work with Seven on updating Stellar Cartography. There's a shot of Seven climbing down a ladder that was obviously put in there so they could put it in all the adverts. I'm not really complaining because teenage Wacky certainly "enjoyed" the blatant Seven eye candy at the time! Harry's still awkward with her. Torres and the Doc go to the alien's ship, the Doc's first away mission. The allien hologram is jittery and a bit weird. He's a cleaner. B'Elanna tries to fix him because he keeps flickering. Harry continues to be awkward with Seven but does stop her from being electrocuted, which seems to impress her. The janitor hologram is impressed by how the Doctor is treated with respect on Voyager, as his crew just treated him like a tool. Holo janitor acts creepy with B'Elanna, giggling at how she eats. He shouts at her when she says she understands how he feels and calls her disgusting for eating food.

B'Elanna tells the Doctor what happened but he thinks she's overreacting. She also points out that the janitor lied about a lower deck being flooded by radiation and could be hiding something down there. B'Elanna goes in search of the janitor's reset button. The janitor shows the Doctor his holographic fish. Seven cuts her hand working with Harry and feels weak. Tom treats her then Harry tells him off for his bedside manner. Tom realises Harry has a crush on Seven and warns him he's setting himself up to be disappointed again. The janitor continues to tell the Doctor how much he hates organics. He wants the Doctor to join him on the ship and explore the galaxy together, without any smelly organics. B'Elanna finally discovers the murdered crew. The janitor catches her trying to access his matrix and phases his hand through her chest to pull her heart out. She turns him off just in time. Harry suggests he and Seven visit the Holodeck together. She asks if he's in love with her then asks if he wants to copulate. He says no. Seven says she wants to explore her humanity and asks him to take off his clothes. Harry gets scared and backs away. Oh Harry. The Doctor has to get B'Elanna back to Voyager to treat her heart injury but they're stuck on the alien ship. He sees the holo fish and knows the janitor is still active. He deactivates the Doc and stalks injured B'Elanna. She locks a door but he just walks right through it because hologram. B'Elanna manages to shock him with a cable to deactive him (lucky that worked, really.) Harry asks Chakotay to work with someone other than Seven. Chakotay makes Harry tell him what the problem is. Chakotay plays the straight man to awkward Harry and it's pretty funny! The Doc orders Tom to help him clean Sickbay as he's made it too dirty. But it's just a joke! The tone here is kind of weird given than B'Elanna nearly had her heart ripped out.

The Harry/Seven plot is a lot of fun and probably the thing people remember about this episode. The main plot...meh. The guest actor is good but it's really obvious he's a psycho hologram from the start, so we're just waiting for him to go nuts. The fight with B'Elanna is pretty good, but ultimately the plot feels pointless. He's a crazy hologram, they beat him, the end. It's fine.

SCORE: 6/10
 

Cassie

Touching the monolith
Staff member
I always skip Revulsion when it comes on now. It's good, but not great for repeated rewatching.
 

CaptainWacky

I want to smell dark matter
The Raven - Janeway gives Seven (now in her still tight but at least it's not making Jeri Ryan pass out brown(?) catsuit) a sculpture lesson. Seven doesn't see the point. Janeway uses da Vinci's flying machine as an example of the power of imagination and it goes Seven a weird vision of being chased by a raven and some Borg. The Doctor thinks it's repressed trauma. Seven argues that she doesn't see the Borg as threatening. Janeway meets the asshole aliens of the week, who have agreed to let Voyager pass through their space but only if Janeway follows ridiculous rules (like not being able to go above Warp 3) and follows a winding flightplan. Why are all aliens in the Delta Quadrant such unreasonable bastards? Seven visits Neelix because she needs to eat food now. She tells him how easy it was to assimilate Talaxians. Neelix cooks her some shit then has to teach her how to eat, which doesn't make sense since she was about eight when she was assimilated. Seven has another vision and it makes a Borg implant appear in her hand and she shoves Neelix. Seven rampages about the ship, easily deflecting phaser fire from security with her Borg shields. She gets by Tuvok and to a shuttle, escaping the ship. Janeway asks the asshole aliens for permission to track Seven through their space, but they smugly tell her they'll just kill Seven themselves. B'Elanna notives Harry is taking Seven's leaving hard. Chakotay wonders if they should give up on her but Janeway thinks something must be going on to make Seven go nuts.

Tuvok and Tom go after Seven. The asshole aliens find her first but she easily takes them out with her shuttle. Tuvok beams over and has a wrestle with her. Seven wins and flies off with him. Seven tells Tuvok she's realised she's a Borg and will never be human and is following a homing signal to a Borg ship. She threatens to assimilate Tuvok then suddenly feels bad and tells him she'll let him go home. Harry searches Seven's logs for clues, and it see if she's said anything nice about him. Janeway finally realises that the bird in Seven's dreams was a raven and Raven was the name of her parents' starship. She tells Chakotay to search for it. Seven and Tuvok arrrive at a moon where she thinks the Borg are waiting for her. Of course it's the Raven ship instead (wouldn't this have worked better if Janeway hadn't just told as what was going on and was discovered the Raven at the same time as Seven?) She has a flashback to the Borg killing her parents and hides under a desk like she did back then. She gets emotional telling Tuvok the details of how they were assimilated (she says her dad did "experiments" that required them to fly a long way from home.) The asshole aliens attack them just as Voyager arrives. Seven and Tuvok get out of the Raven just as it falls apart and Tom beams them to safety. Janeway orders them out of asshole alien space, so that's another few months pointlessly added to their journey. Janeway tells Seven her parents were well known for their unconventional scientific theories and she can read about them to encourage her imagination.

The good part here is Jeri Ryan's acting and Seven dealing with her repressed trauma. It's probably not easy for an adult woman to slip into a small child persona but Ryan does it well enough here that it's not embarrassing! It's good that Seven is starting to see that being a Borg wasn't actually all that great since they murdered her parents and horribly abused her as a child. The weakness though is that the set-up is kind of sloppy: she has a dream about a RAVEN to symbolise a ship named THE RAVEN. I'm totally sick of the asshole aliens who won't let Voyager fly through their space too, even though these ones are kind of amusing in their smugness. I would probably have liked the episode more if Seven and Tuvok had got to the Raven faster and we'd spent more time on Seven's memories. But there's still good character stuff in there for her.

SCORE: 7.5/10


Scientific Method - B'Elanna finds Seven in some tubes messing about with the power system and tells her off. Paris gets out of his Sickbay shift and beams himself to the tubes to make out with B'Elanna (that's why she was mad that Seven was there!) Also someone x-rays them while they kiss (probably Harry.) Stressed out Janeway gets a massage from the Doctor. She's got a headache and can't sleep so puts Chakotay in charge of the space anomoly of the week. Paris and Torres frantically make out all over a console when they're supposed to be working. Tuvok catches them and Tom begs him not to tell anyone. But Janeway asks to speak with them. She chews them out, in a harsher manner than usual, for shagging all over the ship and gunking up the consoles with their bodily fluids. Someone x-rays Chakotay and his hair starts falling out. In the next scene he's bald and wrinkily and the Doctor reports that his DNA has been altered (of course!) Neelix has a seizure. The Doctor finds that Neelix's DNA has been altered too and he's turning into a different race (his great grandfather was an alien.) There's an amusing scene with Chakotay and Neelix where they each try to top the other on who has it worse now. The Doc and B'Elanna find a kind of barcode inked on Chakotay's cells. It's weird! Someone tries to delete the Doctor's program and B'Elanna can't breathe. The Doc somehow hides in the da Vince simulation and taps into Seven's audio implants to tell her to secretly meet him there. The Doctor has amusingly gone undercover as an artist and tells Seven how he and B'Elanna were taken out when they spotted the barcodes.

He does something to Seven's implants so she can see on the same frequency as the alien things (I don't know) and Seven can now see weird alien implements on crewmembers and invisible aliens doing creepy experiments and stuff. Janeways headaches are getting worse and she snaps at Tuvok. She orders Tuvok to straighten out the department heads to stop incidents like Tom and B'Elanna's dirty console sex. Tuvok says "should I flog them as well?" and it's funny. Seven can't tell Janeway what's going on because there's invisible aliens sticking needles in her head. The Doc comes up with a plan to knock everyone out and defeat the aliens but Seven has to do it without anyone finding out. Tuvok instantly spots her tampering with someone in engineering and she has to shoot one of the invisible aliens to make him visible. She holds a phaser to him so the leader will go and talk to Janeway. The lead aliens reveals that she's just doing medical tests on the Voyager crew and the data she gathers could cure millions. Janeway won't accept her shit. The alien tells her she's been making Janeway more and more stress and her fellow scientists are debating how much more Janeway can take. Janeway says "theres lab rats are fighting back!" The alien escapes. The aliens kill a redshirt to show how serious they are. Angry Janeway does CPR on the redshirt then decides it's time to end this shit. She sets Voyager on a course for the two pulsars they've been studying. Tuvok warns that they cannae take much more and they'll be dead soon. The lead scientist thinks Janeway is just bluffing to scare them away, but Janeway keeps flying for those pulsars. The ship starts to break up and the aliens finally leave. Voyager's stick in the gravity of the pulsars so Janeway just fucking flies Voyager through them. Luckily they survive. The Doctor manages to remove the alien devices which (also luckily) cures everyone. Tom and B'Elanna have dinner and wonder if the aliens were messing with their hormones all along. Maybe it was the aliens that made B'Elanna realise she loved him! But they don't really believe it and kiss and stuff and I think we can finally declare them together now.

This episode is a bit silly, yeah. I'm sure you can't really just mess around with DNA like that! But it works because it's almost a comedy episode with some pretty funny moments and a great performance by Kate Mulgrew as Pissed Off Janeway (the best Janeway.) The Tom/B'Elanna stuff is actually good too as they've taken their time with the relationship, making it more believable than most Trek romances. So yeah I liked i!

SCORE: 8/10
 

Cassie

Touching the monolith
Staff member
I really didn't like the terrible aliens in The Raven.

I always thought Tuvok and Seven would have made great friends since they're both very logical, but I guess they didn't want two logic characters in scenes together all the time since it's more fun to have their logic play off others OR SOMETHING.
 

whisky

Boobie inspector
How did the raven get so far into the Delt quadrant? Also between this and the enterprise B rescuing survivors of the borg, the enterprise Ds first contact with the borg becomes less special.
 

CaptainWacky

I want to smell dark matter
They later retcon it that The Raven was investigating the Borg and I think it followed them into one of their transwarp conduits. Still stupid that Voyager just happens to come across its crash site, like how they just happened to come across Amelia Earhart, the dinosaur people, Chakotay's alien relatives...
 

CaptainWacky

I want to smell dark matter
Year of Hell: Part 1 - A city is erased from a planet. An underling reports to the Captain of some kind of TIME SHIP that they have not reached their goal but the Captain tells them to be patient and keep on erasing species. Voyager has a new set! It's a big room with a big map of the galaxy and Seven and Harry have plotted a new route home that will take five years off their journey. Not sure how they did that. They're about to fly through a region of space controlled by the Zahl. The Doctor makes an overly long speech. Voyager's attacked by a weak ship from a race known as the Krenim. Janeway doesn't recogise the name despite Kes's warning last season. Voyager has a friendly meeting with the Val, but suddenly a time distortion hits the ship and the Zahl disappear. The Krenim ship is now more powerful and has been kicking Voyager's ass. It reminds me a bit of the opening of 'Yesterday's Enterprise', right down to the rocks on the Bridge! Janeway says it's turning into the "week" from Hell. If she only knew! The time Captain's underling (we learn his name but it's stupid and I'm not typing it so I'll just call him "officer" or soething) tells him that the Krenim have been restored to 98% of their strength by erasing the Zahl. That's not good enough for the Captain because he wants one specific colony restored. The officer argues that a full restoration will never be possible and some of the crew think the Captain's gone mad. This is a very well acted scene which stands out against similar scenes in other episodes. Voyager is hit by one of the Krenim's time torpedo things (if only Kes had warned them oh wait she did.) Voyager does managed to destroy the Krenim ship by dropping some torpedos out its ass, but a massive explosion tears through Voyager. The Doctor has to close a blast door on two crewmen who die. Janeway is pissed and her Ready Room's a mess. Chakotay comes to see her and argues they should abandon ship in escape pods to get through Krenim space. Janeway isn't about to break the family up. The Krenim attack again and Janeway's luck tea cup is broken. B'Elanna and Harry are trapped together after the attack. She's wounded. They play a trivia game where the answer is the name of Zephran Cochrane's ship. Seven rescues them and gives the correct answer as "the Borg were present during those events." Ha.

Paris comes up with new defences based on the bulkheads of the Titanic. Doesn't sound like a good idea! Seven finds an undetonated torpedo in a Jefferies Tube. Paris wants to treat B'Elanna before other patients and the Doctor tells him off for not understanding triage. The Doc admits he feels bad about closing the door on the two crewmen who died. Seven wants to find the temporal variance of the torpedo (like Kes did!) but Tuvok thinks there isn't time. It blows up. Weeks go by and Voyager is in worse and worse shape. Janeway forgets her birthday and Chakotay gives her a watch. Kathryn wants it recycled. Tuvok has been blinded and cuts himself shaving. Seven is his seeing eye Borg now. They bond over how messy humans are. Neelix is a security officer now because things are that bad. The Krenim show up but Voyager's new temporal shields hold up. Janeway tells the Krenim to fuck right off. The time ship erases another planet. Voyager's new shielding protects it from the changes to the timeline. This time the Krenim ship gets weaker and loads of Krenim colonies disappear. Voyager threw off the Captain of the time ship's calculations so he orders his crew to take him to them. Janeway and Seven track the source of the temporal shockwave and find it erased an entire species from a planet. Voyager meets up with the time ship. The Captain says that unfortunately he's got to erase Voyager now. His big time weapon starts to push Voyager out of the space time continuum. Voyager escapes but takes more massive damage. Janeway makes her big "asking you to stay is asking you die" speech. Most of the crew leave in escape pods.

It is a great episode, no doubt. If you watched this and had no idea a reset button was coming you'd think "wow this is going to be the best story ever!" Watching it twenty years later you can imagine any tv show today doing an episode like this and NOT resetting it next week. That's an advantage Discovery has over old Trek: they probably could just blow up half the ship and carry on with the show with that as the new status quo. But I KNOW Voyager and I know what's going to happen so I can't go 10/10. Plus it's annoying how nobody mentions Kes.

SCORE: 9.5/10


Year of Hell: Part 2 - Voyager and its remaining crew are hiding out in a nebula. Janeway breathes in some NEBULA GAS after she and Harry stop it flooding the ship and the Doctor tells her off. He orders her to take a rest but she just wants him to pump her with drugs. The Captain of the time ship (Annorax) took Chakotay and Paris prisoner two months ago (I forgot to mention it.) He invites them to a lavish dinner with food from species who he's erased from time. He tries to tempt Chakotay and Paris with offers to restore Voyager to its former state, as if they've never met. Tom is disgusted by his offer (and all his creepy talk of eating the food of dead races) but Chakotay is intrigued. Annorax needs their help for his calculations. Voyager's remaining crew drink some of Neelix's piss as there's nothing else less to drink (okay it's just a drink he made.) Seven says "it is offensive" in some great Jeri Ryan line reading. Janeway wants to get out of the nebula and find allies. Seven says she is in error and Voyager isn't ready to leave yet. Chakotay tells Annorax about a rogue comet that led them to Krenim space and suggests erasing it. Annorax runs a simulation that shows that erasing the comet would have wiped out all life within 50 light years. Oops! Chakotay seems to enjoy being his time pupil. Annorax tells Chakotay how this all started and how he's erased billions of lives over the last two hundred years (his ship exists outside of time or something.) He compares his quest to Voyager's quest to get home. Voyager is hit by space rocks. Janeway runs to deflector control to repel them but it's on fire. She goes in anyway and gets the deflector on but is badly burned. When she wakes up the Doctor tells her she has traumatic stress syndrome and he could remove her from command. She threatens to shut him down. She admits that was harsh but he removes her from command anyway. Janeway points out there's not much he can actually do to stop her going back to the Bridge. Janeway finds her birthday watch in Chakotay's quarters and tells Neelix about it.

Tom plays a chess like game with the officer/underling/alien name guy. He tells Tom how he was celebrating his brother's birthday a century after he died. Paris tells Chakotay he has a plan to take the ship's temporal core out, thanks to information the officer gave him and also that the crew is ready to mutiny. Chakotay tells him to hold off for now because he's making progress with the temporal calculations. They have an argument with Paris saying Chakotay is falling for Annorax's shit. As if to prove Tom's point, Annorax erases another planet despite Chakotay's pleas that it isn't necessary. Chakotay confronts Annorax, who admits ths he accidentally erased his wife from history and has been working to birng her back for two hundred years. All he has left is a lock of hair. Okay, but if he did bring her colony back, surely she'd be long dead since she lived two hundred years ago. Chakotay realises that Annorax won't stop and agrees to Tom's plan. They'll need Janeway attacking the ship in Voyager for it to work. Janeway tells the crew the plan (they've made some allies too.) Janeway's staying with the ship until the end. Tuvok argues that the ship is just a thing but Janeway says she feels as close to it as any member of her crew. Janeway's given her allies temporal shielding and Chakotay points out to Annorax that this means their planets will be defended from his weapon. The big fight starts. Annorax's officer refuses his command and deactivates the temporal core. Annorax pretty easily destroys Janeway's allies anyway and one of their ships crashes into Voyager. Janeway gets the idea that destroying the time ship could erase everything it's done. She just comes up with it out of nowhere. She flies Voyager into the time ship and it blows up the temporal core, erasing the time ship (Annorax watches the lock of hair disappear before it does.) We jump back in time to Seven bringing the new astrometrics lab online. The Krenim suggest Voyager plot a course around their space and Janeway's fine with that. Meanwhile Annorax is somehow back home with his wife, working on his calculations. He is convinced to put them aside and go for breakfast with her. So he never builds the time ship now? Why would things be different? EPISODE OVER.

Okay so yeah it's a big reset button. That doesn't make the body of the episode bad. It's very good, nearly as good as season one, for the most part. Chakoay nearly turning into a space Nazi is the best stuff. Janeway's stuff is good but gets a bit repetitive (even she's like "oh come on!" when she sees the fire.) But the reset button...why does it even work? Why wouldn't Annorax just build the time ship again? Why did he never think of erasing the ship out of existence to reset everything in the last two hundred years? What if destroying the time ship had actually just made things much worse or destroyed the space tine continuum or something? It's all very convenient. It hurts the episode, and, unlike 'Yesterday's Enterprise', there's no "hey, something weird just happened!" moment with the crew. Everyone just forgets everything. All that great character stuff, all those Tuvok/Seven scenes and such, gone. That makes it all a bit hollow.

SCORE: 8.5/10

(And don't get me started on how this ties in with 'Before and After'. You could say Janeway doesn't remember Kes's warning about the Krenim because of Annorax messing with the timeline, but that opens a whole new can of worms. That means we can't know for sure if anything we saw in the first three seasons happened. If Kes's warning was erased thanks to Annorax, what else was? Plus there's now the whole question as to how the crew got through Borg space in the 'Before and After' version of the story. Kes didn't turn into atoms there and send them 10,000 light years closer to home, so how did they end up at Krenim space at the same time? Anyway this is all nerd stuff ignore it.)
 

CaptainWacky

I want to smell dark matter
Random Thoughts - Voyager's been staying with some friendly(!) telepathic aliens named the Mari. Neelix has a girlfriend. Neelix. Some guy stands on B'Elanna's foot and she gets angry for a moment. Neelix sexily eats fruit for his alien girlfriend and she telepathically senses that he wants her to "tug on his whiskers." This is the filthiest moment in all of Star Trek. The foot treader goes nuts and starts beating up a random. Tuvok gives a Mari cop (one of the few on their planet, played by one of the Duras sisters) a tour of Voyager and she's shocked by their Brig. Duras cop lady wants to investigate the crime by reading the thoughts of the Voyager crew at the time of the crime using a machine. Filthy vision of Neelix getting his whiskers tugged here! B'Elanna admits she had a passing thought about beating the guy up and the cop arrests her for her violent thoughts. Yes Voyager spent three days at the planet and nobody warned the crew that certain thoughts are illegal. Cop explains to Janeway that violent thoughts can be picked up telepathically by the Mari and lead to crimes. B'Elanna will be released, but only after the violent thoughts are removed from her brain. Janeway wants to do her own inverstigation before letting this happen. Paris wants to break B'Elanna out by Janeway says no. Tom goes running to Chakotay asking to break her out and he tells Tom to make a plan (just to keep him busy.) Tuvok finds that the attacker has been arrested four times previously for violent thoughts. The cop doesn't think this matters and declares the case closed. She gets emotional but Tuvok keeps on investigating. Seven thinks B'Elanna is at fault and it's another example of Voyager contacting an alien civilisation while ignorant of their customs. Then an old lady has flashes of violent B'Elanna and murders Neelix's girlfriend!

Neelix asks Tuvok to bring his girlfriend's killer to justice because he's sad his whiskers will never be tugged now. The cop tells Tuvok that the old lady commited the crime after experiencing B'Elanna's thoughts and admits she needs Tuvok's help. Tuvok mind melds with B'Elanna to get to the truth. He finds that the trader B'Elanna was talking with at the time was reading her thoughts during the foot incident and that he wanted something from her. Tuvok talks to the trader, who is intrigued (and a little turned on) to learn that Tuvok is a telepath. The trader goes to a dark alley where a shifty looking guy gives him money in exchange for "something exciting." Tuvok sees an opportunity and offers to trade violent images with him, knowing that he's dealing in violent thoughts (at least he's not trading in Neelix whisker porn.) They trade thoughts and the trader details his whole business model for Tuvok (who pretends he wants to buy B'Elanna's violent thought.) Tuvok arrests him but some violenve junkies attack Tuvok and the trader gets away. Cop lady tells Voyager it's time to purge B'Elanna's brain. B'Elanna is strapped to a chair and a big probe thing approaches her head. The thugs hold Tuvok so the trader can read his most violent thoughts. Tuvok grabs him in a meld and shows him a violent vision of beating the trader up (and choking him, like he did to holographic Neelix once!) Janeway stops B'Elanna's procedure at the last moment when Tuvok arrives back at Voyager with his new evidence. Tuvok details the illegal black market in violent thoughts that cop lady was completely unaware of and is shocked by. B'Elanna returns to the ship and the Doctor tells her her brain is fine. B'Elanna asks Tuvok if he's still a fan of the Mari legal system. Tuvok admits that he's now impressed by how B'Elanna keeps her violent thoughts under control. Seven goes to Janeway and tells her it's stupid how Janeway keeps exposing Vooyager to risk by making contact with alien species and they'd get home a lot faster if they didn't. She's got a point! Janeway says that would meke a pretty dull journey home (and tv show) and they seek out new life because that's what humans do.

It's a good old fashioned Trek episode! Yeah it seems a bit stupid that Voyager spent so long on the planet without learning their rules about violent thoughts, but the episode has Seven bring that up at least. Tuvok in investigator mode is a lot of fun and the scene where he defeats the violent thoughts dealer by showing him the real darkness of his mind is the highlight. Just try not to think about Neelix getting his whiskers tugged.

SCORE: 8.5/10


Concerning Flight - Janewy's hanging out with da Vinci again. He's angry that nobody thinks his flying machine will work. Some aliens attack Voyager. They manage to beam several objects off the ship, including the Doctor's mobile emitter. Voyager can't fire back because the aliens have stolen the main computer processor. Harry goes to Seven for help finding the aliens and she's rude to him. He tries to give her some friendly advice about this but she doesn't give a fuck. Voyager tracks the stolen items to a busy market planet (Voyager can fly fine on their back-up computer, so I guess the main computer isn't that important.) Da Vinci is improbably there wearing the mobile emitter and thinks he's in America. Janeway plays along with this...instead of just turning the emitter off? Da Vinci has a new patron, the prince, who has given him a workshop for some reason. Chakotay questions a guy about more stolen stuff it's boring. There's a mildly amusing bit where Tuvok has to make small talk with da Vinci and claims to be from Scandinavia. Janeway finds that da Vinci's patron has Voyager's computer, but he wants a warship in exchange. She and Tuovk use maps da Vinci made to search for where the patron could be hiding the computer (Janeway mentions that Kirk claimed to have met da Vinci.) Janeway orders Tuvok back to the ship so she can stay on the surface and fuck around with da Vinci (Tuvok points out this is a bad idea.)

Since there's not much plot we get a time filling scene of the Doc trying to catch up on the latest gossip through Seven (since he can't leave Sickbay.) Tuvok and Seven find the location of the computer but of course can't beam it up because Voyager's transporters are useless. The Prince catches Janeway and holds a phaser to her but da Vinci knocks him out. Janeway tells him it's time to leave but da Vinci wants to stay. Why is she wasting time arguing with a hologram instead of just turning him off? She talks him into leaving anyway. Janeway has to keep pretending to be in olden days since da Vinci can't understand anything. He helps her get inside the Prince's storeroom. They find all the stolen stuff inside. Da Vinci thinks there's a mechanical woman inside the computer when it talks. They're attacked by goons and da Vinci is shot, but the phaser blast goes right through him. He has a bit of an existential crisis. The computer is beamed up but not da Vinci and Janeway, for reasons I can't be bothered understanding. They run through the countryside. They run up a hll and da Vinci gets out of breath even though he's a hologram so Janeway has to help him (TURN HIM OFF.) Da Vinci's flying machine is sitting out in the open at the top of the hill, which is lucky (I guess he told her to go there but someone could have stolen it or something.) They go flying while Voyager evades the bad guys. Voyager beams up the flying machine.

It's shit.

SCORE: 3/10
 

Eggs Mayonnaise

All In With The Nuts
You can tell that they hastily slapped a story around some germ of an idea that got tossed around like, "Wouldn't it be cool if Janeway & DaVinci flew around in his machine?" They just wanted the payoff image at the end, the rest was busy work.
 

CaptainWacky

I want to smell dark matter
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