Wacky Reviews: WrestleMania 29
If nothing else, WrestleMania always looks cool with the huge arena and spectacular set. As asual a couple of matches were cut from the show and all but three matches felt rushed. Yet none of the video packages were cut. They're more important than wrestling.
The SHIELD beat Randy Orton, Shameus and The Big Show - The Shield continue to be a brightspot and remain undefeated. Decent opener. Big Show turned heel for the 900th time (actually literally) afterwards.
Mark Henry beat Ryback - This was shit.
Kane and Daniel Bryan beat Dolph Ziggler and Big E - Remember last year when Daniel Bryan lost in 18 seconds and it pissed the fans off for the rest of the night? That didn't happen here. He got the winning fall on Ziggler (who loses all the time but did cash in the money in the bank on RAW to win the world title so that's something) this year then led the 70,000 fans in a "yes!" chant. So that was pretty cool. Match was actually shorter than Henry/Ryback, which is ridiculous!
Fandango beat Chris Jericho - Fandango is an evil ballroom dancer. He basically rules. The fans were singing his entrance music on RAW the next night and there's now a movement to have his theme top the UK singles chart. Seriously. Anyway, match was okay, Fandango a bit sloppy, but good enough.
Alberto Del Rio beat Jack Swagger - Cheap heat racist promo before the match that no one cared about. Times have moved on, Vince. Match was decent thanks to Del Rio, but considering that it was a world title match it felt really small. Like an IC title match (the IC title match didn't even make the ppv by the way.)
The Unertaker beat CM Punk - Best match of the show. If they can keep Undertaker doing just one match a year forever it will feel special and make WrestleMania worth watching. Punk was great here too.
Triple H beat Brock Lesnar - Notice how the main events involve people who only wrestle once a year? At least Punk and Cena are on the main roster, this match had part-timer Triple H beat part-timer Lesnar for no apparent reason. Match had good moments but felt too long and the crowd didn't care about it after Undertaker/Punk.
John Cena beat The Rock - So yeah...this match. It was okay. Rock just isn't up to doing a long match and Cena still looks sloppy. And there was REALLY LOUD spot-calling by Cena throughout, so you could hear him say "DUCK THE PUNCH, GIVE ME A DDT" then a second later Rock would duck his punch and give him a DDT. Then the end sequence was just the two of them hitting and blocking their finishers again and again. Good in theory but not smooth enough.
So yeah, this was a show that existed. I wouldn't recommend it other than the Undertaker match.
(Absolutely no one is going to read this, are they?)
