"You gonna get another job?"...

Volpone

Zombie Hunter
Being short on time and money makes the dichotomy of being a nerd and a pervert so much easier. It will likely be years before I have to worry about whether I should turn the basement into a TARDIS control room or a sex dungeon.
 

Loktar

Pinata Whacker
Being short on time and money makes the dichotomy of being a nerd and a pervert so much easier. It will likely be years before I have to worry about whether I should turn the basement into a TARDIS control room or a sex dungeon.
You should do both. I'm pretty sure one of the early Doctors had a sex dungeon hidden away in the TARDIS. Now you know the real reason for the "companions".
 

Volpone

Zombie Hunter
Bah. Gonna have to call up the credit card company and do some begging. I pay my card in full, so I never get hit with interest charges. But this month was tight. The unexpectedly expensive roof and the surprise sewer connection were a big hit so I needed to move some money around to cover the credit card (which had the sewer install financed on it).

Unfortunately there are things about living in Louisville that are like living in the 1980s. There are no [Insert name of national bank chain here] banks here. So I wound up getting an account with a local bank I'd heard good things about. And it is...painful. On top of that, since some of the money I needed was in my LLC I didn't know how to move that online or at the ATM (and really, I haven't been able to get their "online" site to work right in...forever). So I had to go in. And because my attorney hammered home the importance of keeping your LLC money separate, on the 1st I deposited the rent check into the LLC and then came in Monday to move it to my personal account. But since it's like living in the 1980s, they said that money wouldn't be available for a business day. "OK. Fine. I don't need it. Transfer what you can."

Since the payment was due on the 5th, I did an electronic transfer between my [national bank chain] account and my credit card of as much as I could swing and wrote a check on my local 1980s bank to put in the mail. Except this was Saturday. And the mail had gone out already, so it wouldn't get going until Monday, the day before it was due. Checked my account on the 5th and of course it hadn't hit yet. Checked it today. It hit on the 8th. And now I have a nice interest payment for the balance tacked on as well. So I guess I'll call up and tell my sob story to the operator and see if they'll waive the interest. I dunno. We'll see.
 

Volpone

Zombie Hunter
...and the crowning irony is, since they weren't able to move the rent check from the LLC to the personal account anyway, I might as well have just written the check earlier and got it in the mail. Then it would've arrived in time.
 

Volpone

Zombie Hunter
It's interesting, the tasks one finds unpleasant. Renovating a bathroom but needed to use this morning for some administrative things. I've got a sink full of dishes, I've got some things I need to return to the hardware store, I've got to try to get my bank to waive an interest fee for missing statement date on my credit card and I've got a verbal agreement for someone to move into my current place when it becomes available in February. So I had to find the receipts for the items I was returning, call up my bank, and pull up my lease template and fill in the relevant blanks and e-mail a PDF to my renter.

Truth be told, the lease thing is about the easiest of those things. But for some reason it is the most unpleasant to me. I can't explain it. Years ago, the first time I read "7 Habits of Highly Effective People" one of the big takeaways was doing a personal mission statement. Mine basically boils down to that I like to help people and solve problems. Now there were some jobs that I was qualified for but that just didn't appeal to me and I couldn't figure out why until I realized that, to me, they didn't feel like I was helping anyone or solving anything. Now the lease definitely is. I'm providing a wonderful home to a man and his daughter. But I'm still not excited by it.

As I type this I have a few ideas. First could be that it is because I'm an introvert. But that really doesn't jibe because I had no problem calling my bank to ask for a favor. It could also be because this is the beginning of a new relationship. Managing properties is still relatively new to me and you hear all the horror stories. This guy seems to check out as well as anyone could but part of me still worries about what if he's some con-man. I think that may be a factor, but a relatively minor one. No, I think the biggest factor is that I don't particularly like leases. I didn't like them when I was a renter and resented all the rules and conditions--and leases were a lot simpler back in those days. And now the shoe is on the foot and I'm the Bad Guy. I'm the one saying "you can't do this...you have to do this...if you to that, I'm going to..." Leases are inherently unpleasant to me.

But I need to do this. And sooner rather than later. But now I know. And knowing is half the battle.
 

Volpone

Zombie Hunter
OK. This really has absolutely nothing to do with this thread, but I can't think of a better place to put it, so here we go: It's in The Dog's contract that she gets a walk in the morning and another in the evening. On weekends the morning walk can be as long as she wants and the evening walk is to a Special location. These days, Saturday night is Iroquois Park.

The local mounted police used to have their stable in the park before it was condemned (we have a Democrat mayor so the money goes to tearing down statues of beloved civic figures because they had ties to the Confederacy instead of repairing the roof at the mounted police stable. There's also a pasture and a riding circle and riding trails throughout the park. Of late, The Dog prefers to sniff around the pasture. She pretty regularly flushes out a herd of deer and was flushing a flock of wild turkey back in November. 2 weeks ago I saw her tugging on something hanging from a tree. It seemed fishy so I called her off. On closer investigation it was a small deer leg, wired through the tendon, with a steel leg-hold trap chained to the tree underneath. Luckily she didn't trip it. I did with a branch before engaging the authorities.

Last week we were on the way there and it occurred to me I should've brought a pistol. Because if the trap was still there and I bumped into the person who set it, it's always helpful to have something to diffuse a discussion if things get too heated. Turned out the trap was gone. But almost as soon as we got out of the car we were treated to a chorus of howls--call it a coyote serenade. Guess now we know who the trap was for. The Dog desperately wanted to go investigate, but I was able to rein her in. Even as old as she is, I think she's a match for a coyote. But 2-3? Not so much. So I needed a gun after all, but for totally different reasons. Rustled up a stout branch to use as a cudgel and arranged The Dog's 8' leather leash so it made a formidable flog and proceeded with the walk. Heard howls at a couple other points in the patrol but didn't run into the coyotes.

This week I came prepared. The 9mm was probably a better choice for coyotes--more smaller holes--but the .45 was handy and set up so I went with that. I could've also went with the .357, but then I'd have felt obligated to bring the bullwhip as well and that would've been dead embarrassing if I'd met other hikers. The .380 PPK/S was right out. 7 underpowered shots against a pack of wild canines doesn't make up for any minor tradeoffs in carrying comfort.

All that said, they really should just let everyone carry concealed. 80% of people wouldn't do it anyway. Hell, 99% of people wouldn't. I don't think 80% of actual fervent gun owners would do it. It's just a pain in the butt. A literal pain in the butt. Totally legal in Kentucky and not even frowned upon in most places, but even so, lugging around a big iron on your hip is just really unpleasant even with the best holster setup.
 

Oerdin

Member
It's interesting, the tasks one finds unpleasant. Renovating a bathroom but needed to use this morning for some administrative things. I've got a sink full of dishes, I've got some things I need to return to the hardware store, I've got to try to get my bank to waive an interest fee for missing statement date on my credit card and I've got a verbal agreement for someone to move into my current place when it becomes available in February. So I had to find the receipts for the items I was returning, call up my bank, and pull up my lease template and fill in the relevant blanks and e-mail a PDF to my renter.

Truth be told, the lease thing is about the easiest of those things. But for some reason it is the most unpleasant to me. I can't explain it. Years ago, the first time I read "7 Habits of Highly Effective People" one of the big takeaways was doing a personal mission statement. Mine basically boils down to that I like to help people and solve problems. Now there were some jobs that I was qualified for but that just didn't appeal to me and I couldn't figure out why until I realized that, to me, they didn't feel like I was helping anyone or solving anything. Now the lease definitely is. I'm providing a wonderful home to a man and his daughter. But I'm still not excited by it.

As I type this I have a few ideas. First could be that it is because I'm an introvert. But that really doesn't jibe because I had no problem calling my bank to ask for a favor. It could also be because this is the beginning of a new relationship. Managing properties is still relatively new to me and you hear all the horror stories. This guy seems to check out as well as anyone could but part of me still worries about what if he's some con-man. I think that may be a factor, but a relatively minor one. No, I think the biggest factor is that I don't particularly like leases. I didn't like them when I was a renter and resented all the rules and conditions--and leases were a lot simpler back in those days. And now the shoe is on the foot and I'm the Bad Guy. I'm the one saying "you can't do this...you have to do this...if you to that, I'm going to..." Leases are inherently unpleasant to me.

But I need to do this. And sooner rather than later. But now I know. And knowing is half the battle.
Leases might be unpleasant but they are vitally necessary.
 

Loktar

Pinata Whacker
Leases might be unpleasant but they are vitally necessary.
Unlike renters insurance. I've been wasting $25 a month for years and for what? Nothing in my apartment has ever gotten stolen or damaged(except through my fault). I mean really, I hardly see or talk to my neighbors and we have a key fob entry to get in the lobby. This place is like Fort Knox.
 

Volpone

Zombie Hunter
That's another thing I struggle with: Renting these days would have driven 20 year old me insane. A 1 year lease was grudgingly tolerated because after that you could move to month-to-month. And if a landlord raised the rent every year we'd flip out. It was a given that you could have pets and no one ever made renter's insurance a condition of the lease. I explicitly allow animals (but they need to be approved) and the closest I can come on renters insurance is a line that "strongly encourages" it.

Again, I've only been doing this for half a year (and only have one house rented), so I could find out I'm completely and utterly wrong, but right now the plan is to only rent out places I'd want to live in myself and treat the renters like the place is their home. A landlord guru maintains that you can't treat tenants like customers but I absolutely do. I mean, I don't wash their towels and bed linens, but I definitely make sure they're happy.
 

Oerdin

Member
The new electric Hummer won't be for sale until late 2021. Even then it will be sold at GMC dealers and only in tiny numbers.
 

Volpone

Zombie Hunter
Possibly TMI, but I actually figured out the "sex dungeon" thing. Luckily I've got so many more important things on my list of things to do that I'll likely never get around to it. That said...

The house started out basically as a 2br. Enclosed front porch (that has basement under it, interestingly enough). Living room and kitchen on one side, bedrooms down the other. Bathroom out the back, between the bedrooms and the kitchen. I suspect there was originally an outhouse because the bathroom started as a lean-to room, tacked onto the back of the house. Also on the back of the house was almost certainly one of them "Wizard of Oz" storm cellar doors, because there's a flight of steps in the basement that disappear into nothing. More on that later.

But at some point they extended the house out, making the footprint a long rectangle and surrounding the old bathroom. Dining room(?) on one side, undefined entry/mudroom space behind the bathroom, and a weird "I dunno what to do with this space" closet that runs along the other side all the way to the wall of the back bedroom. Then, right down the back side of the bathroom they dug fresh steps to the basement. So as you come in the back door, there's a closet door to your left that goes to a, oh, 12' long, 4' wide closet, and the door to the basement stairs right in front of you. There's only crawlspace under this addition. So about 2/3 of the house has basement and the back 1/3 has crawlspace.

Once we get down in the basement, there's the aforementioned old stairs that led to the old door to the basement and the door to the current stairs. In between is a window hole. So if I get to work with a shovel, I can dig out that corner of the back wall that has a concrete stairwell on one side, while keeping far enough away from any unsupported crawlspace walls, maybe add some bars to the window, and make myself an intimate little sex dungeon worthy of "Silence of the Lambs." Granted, the access is a little undignified since you have to crawl through the opening at the top of the old stairs, but maybe I can put a nice trap door under a rug in the dining room.

And with a basement under the front porch, it would be relatively easy to have a trap door "WELCOME" mat that leads to a basement holding cell. And of course add a secret door to the back of the back bedroom and I have a combination huge walk-in closet, bolt hole escape to the back door. These should all really boost the resale value.
 

Volpone

Zombie Hunter
Probably going to waste a day. Started raining last night. Miserable 36 degree weather rain, switching from downpour to light drizzle with all variations in between. The Dog wanted to go Out before the alarm clock went off (alarms, "BANG!" noises, and smoke/fire are all triggers for her) but changed her mind when she got to the door. Eventually I had to shave and brush my teeth, at which point I heard her get up--because we're both creatures of routine and that's the precursor to the morning patrol. Rain had let up quite a bit, but when we got to the door, she wouldn't go Out. So she's back on the couch. Luckily I forced myself to stop by the house last night because there's a drain at the base of the basement steps that can back up on rainy days and I'd started to drag a spare door up from the basement to use as a template for drilling a doorknob hole--until I found my much lighter, smaller, and easier to use doorknob drilling jig. I plan to swap that door in for an ugly door that doesn't go with any of the other doors so it would've been bad if it got wrecked by water. Doors ain't cheap so you don't want to waste a free one. Anyhow, I work tonight, which means I should have lunch in the next 15-20 minutes or so and then try to get The Dog out for the afternoon patrol, since she has to be locked in for 9 hours or so and so far she hasn't gone to the bathroom in around 17 hours. Ah well. We play it the best we can. For now, a nap is tempting (although it might ruin my appetite for my post-lunch nap).
 

Volpone

Zombie Hunter
About time to head out for work. Managed to almost physically drag The Dog out of the yard for a walk. Took almost all my willpower (she's a lab/border collie so stubbornness is a strength for her). She peed twice but didn't poop. I guess it'll have to do. Unless I want to call in. I'm sorely tempted. But probably won't.
 

Volpone

Zombie Hunter
OK. I just need to snark here for a bit. Because I've been drinking. And reading Facebook.

I have no patience for incompetent people. If you drive a car, you should have jumper cables in the trunk. And know how to use them. I have zero respect for someone who owns a car and doesn't know how to change a tire. Fucker drives 3 miles on the rim before calling AAA? Turn in your Man Card.

This is hard because I do real estate investing. And I'm on the home stretch on remodeling a bathroom. Ripped out the tub with a sawzall. Ripped out the ceiling, floor, and 3 walls. Cleaned up the plumbing. Redid wiring and installed a humidity fan. Is it perfect? No. But I was able to do all the work myself.

Meanwhile there are people posting stuff like "Who's good to clean my dryer vent? I don't know what a dryer vent is or where mine goes to, but I guess mine needs to be cleaned." Or "who do you use for window treatments?" Who can clean your dryer vent? You. Look at the back of your fucking dryer. the big galvanized pipe out the back is your dryer vent. Where it goes is where it goes. Stick a fucking vacuum hose down it and clean it out. Who do I use for window treatments? Me. Go to fucking Target. Or Wal*Mart. Buy blinds that are as wide as your windows (yes, you'll need to know how to use a "tape measure" for this step. And to remember/write down your measurements). And/or blackout curtains. Get a curtain rod. Screw it into the wall. Hang curtains on it. It isn't fucking rocket surgery. If you can't figure out fucking windows, you probably shouldn't be fucking buying houses.
 

Oerdin

Member
I remember you said you were in Kentucky and I saw a report on Yahoo about the 40 cities most likely to see foreclosure crisis. Louisville was on the list but its numbers seem rather low compared to many cities on the list. The vacancy rate is also nice and low.

Louisville, Kentucky
  • Total housing units: 282,781
  • % of mortgages 30-89 days delinquent: 2.4%
  • % of mortgages 90+ days delinquent: 0.9%
  • Foreclosure rate: 1 in every 3,666 homes
  • Homeowner vacancy rate %: 1.7%
 

Volpone

Zombie Hunter
I'm moving faster than I want to and worried that I'm not moving fast enough. I'm supposed to be moving into a place I'm renovating this month so a renter can move into my place. I had to do this because prices went up so much and houses were getting snapped up so fast that I couldn't find my next rental. Wound up buying a place that had been a rental but was a terrible rental--1+ acre lot, parking for 6 cars plus storage space--but also needed a lot more work than most people buying a "starter" home want. Got it for a fair price so I can live there and spread out the repairs over time. I'm freaking out a little over everything that needs to happen this month, but it'll get done--one way or another. Then I've got to find another house and line up financing for it. And it's got to be a good rental because I can't do the move-in and rent the current place trick again easily.

Probably not that earth-shattering to someone in SoCal, but our city council recently passed an ordinance that you can't discriminate against an applicant based on, among other things, criminal record, homeless status, and source of income. Hearing all kinds of horror stories about inconsistent and arbitrary Section 8/building permit inspectors too, so the next place may wind up outside the city limits. We'll see.
 

Oerdin

Member
Ugh, yesterday we had to have three contractors come over to one of the rental house to submit estimates to get work down. The unit in question is a 4/2 townhouse where the first bathroom has a bathtub and shower combo made out of fiberglass while the master only has a shower (again made out of fiberglass). The townhouse was built in 1973 and the old fiberglass liners have been patched before but it looks like the patches have given way. Sadly, the renters decided to just let both of them leak for half year before calling us to tell us about it.

That means when it comes out we can expect water damage and possible mold issues. The first bid to replace both 48 year old liners and do treatment for mold and water damage came in at $15,000 while the second was $9500 just to replace without treatment for mold or water damage. The third contractor canceled at the last minute. Times like this I hate the landlord business.
 

Volpone

Zombie Hunter
Too busy to do any updates lately. Started one, but I forgot to turn off the damned buggy touchpad so my computer ate it. Long story short, humans in general and renters in particular make me nervous.
 
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