The Barrowman principle

[headvoid]

I have been away far too long so have decided to come back with a new principle that I have been considering.

The Barrowman Principle

The principle is named after the, until recently, well known TV celebrity John Barrowman. The principle uses an equation such as this:

If the exposure factor in relation to the talent quotient of a body of mass becomes unsustainable in the space time continuum then the Barrowman principle comes into effect.

This can be graphically represented as follows:

Eventually the exposure without a talent quotient balancing means the mass dissapears suddenly.

This is anecdotally described as "He used to be like water, but I can't see him anymore"

Often there is a residual effect called the "plop" effect which can be graphically described as such:

Often this is anecdotally described as "but I saw him advertising Quorn on Living yesterday!"

Do not be deceived by the plop effect, it is a passing moment.

 

[CaptainWacky]

He's in the Around The World thing tonight...with Myleene Klass. You couldn't make it up (actually, you probably could.)

 

[FBI parte due]

Wait, I thought Myleene Klass was like a Star Trek character or something.

 

[Fuddlemiff]

He's sure to return to soon enough with an all new SHOUTY catchphrase!

 

[CaptainWacky]

John Barrowman is more of a Star Trek character than Myleene Klass. She's a...I don't know. She wore a nice bikini on a reality tv show, then had a baby and wrote a book about having a baby, as if she was the only woman to ever have a baby.

 

[Fuddlemiff]

Oi, don't say things that are true about Myleene Klass. She's hot and smart and plays the spoons or something... and that's all that should matter!

 

[CaptainWacky]

Her body's hot, but something pisses me off about her eyes!

 

[Fuddlemiff]

Wendy Richard's ghost agrees.

 

[CaptainWacky]

IT'S NOT A RACE THING.

 

[headvoid]

Michael McIntyre will fall prey to this effect.

I give him another 8 months.

 

[whisky]

Michael McIntyre to be on desperate housewives?

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

Barrowman's first appearance on Desperate Housewives aired on Sunday.

Is there a corollary for actors who fins a trans-warp hub to The States to avoid the black hole?

 

[Gagh]

This same principle used to be known as the Lesley Joseph principle - an actress so talentless and remembered for playing Dorian Green, the slapper, on BBCTV 'Comedy' show Birds of a Feather for about 15 years.

She reached the pinnacle of 'fame' in the mid to late 90's, where she seemed to be on every daytime TV show, would crop up on the radio, at sports events, and anywhere you didn't want her to be. Barrowman so totally stole her career.

 

[whisky]

But now Barrowman has left the country his vacuum has been filled by James Cordon.

 

[Fuddlemiff]

I think her career was finally, mercifully put down when she starred in ITV's failed soap Day and Night (in the end, ITV settled on "night", showing episodes once the majority of the nation was safely tucked up in bed).

 

[Gagh]

She was just completely talentless. The final biscuit for me came during one of the Beeb's final Live Cricket matches, the bitch popped into the commentary box for an interview during the lunch session. I couldn't give a shit about her, I'd rather be practicing beamers right at her head.

 

[CaptainWacky]

HEY, I HAVE A "FUNNY" IDEA...LET'S HAVE JAMES CORDEN...DOING SPORTS THINGS!!! IT'LL BE FUNNY BECAUSE *CHROTLE* HE'S FAT! LOL HE'S ON THE DIVING BOARD WITH THAT DIVING LAD BUT HE'S FAT! LOL!

 

[headvoid]

Wacky, if the entire nation thought that I might have some hope for humanity.

it was toe curling, butt clenchingly bad.

 

[Fuddlemiff]

Well, these were the same producers who thought that Patrick Kielty and Ferne Cotton were the perfect hosts for 3 hours of the evening. The only consolation was that when they were on, Davina and the magician who hadn't been taught to face the audience were not.

 

[CaptainWacky]

why not have naked sexy people host. everyone would watch then. BOOK IT FOR NEXT YEAR.