This could have been Edward Cullen

[Tisiphone]

How could the gods be so cruel? Now I totally would have seen these on opening day if this man had been in it:

 

[Yub]

He's not effeminate enough to be a sparkling gutless quasi-vamp.

 

[headvoid]

his fans will hunt you down and beat you to death with their bedroom posters for comments like that

 

[Tisiphone]

BRING IT

 

[headvoid]

Killers lurk in unusual places

 

[Tisiphone]

Pikachu!!!

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

Gesundheit!

 

[Cassie]

Robert Pattinson is butt ugly. I'll never understand why all the tweens and desperate housewives find him so attractive. In the few interviews I've seen him do, I noticed he can barely speak and he can't stop fucking with his bizarre flippy hair. Doesn't he know emo kid is already passe?

 

[Ishcabittle]

YOU TAKE THAT BACKC!!! YOU FUCKING TAKE THAT BACK OR WE'RE NOT FRIENDS ANYSMORES!!

 

[Cassie]

I KNOW YOU'VE BEEN TRYING TO GET YOUR HAIR TO DO THAT FLIPPY THING.

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

RPat was hunky in Harry Potter, but it was all smoke and mirrors. His hair was combed, and his clothes must have been padded to make his body less pearish.

 

[FBI parte due]

My hair is too bodacious to do that flippy thing, even when it's long enough.

 

[Ishcabittle]

HA! SHOWS YOU HAOW MUCH YOU KNOW, I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH HAIR TO DO ANY KIND OF FLIPS WHATSOEVER!!

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

Time for an iPée?

 

[Cassie]

AHA! Your hair lives vicariously through Robert Pattinson!

 

[Tisiphone]

EVERYONE'S HAIR LIVES THROUGH RPATZ

 

[Ishcabittle]

Time for an iPée?

i know this is funny, i'm trying to figure out why.

 

[Tisiphone]

Ipee, Upee, WiiPee for Ice cream.

 

[Cassie]

If you google Robert Pattinson, you will find numerous articles trying to convince us that he is sexy. IT'S A CONSPIRACY.

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

It would be Steve Jobs' reinvention of the toupée.