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Well, I can't find my "A Serious Question for the Question" thread soo....

The Question

The Question

Eternal
Volpone said:
Interesting. I did not expect that answer. For me it would be totally the opposite. What do I care if dudes are jacking off to pictures of me as long as I don't know and it makes me money? They aren't hurting anything. On the other hand, if I were writing things that influenced leftist dingbats to be even more leftist, it would seem that I'm hurting the country (assuming I don't actually believe in the leftist viewpoint); I'd be using my skills and abilities for harm.
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Oh, well now, that's different. The way you originally phrased the question made it sound like I'd know about it. I'm sure it's already happened that homos have fapped over some content peripheral to my online existence. As long as I don't know about it, I don't care. But if the implicit question is, would I knowingly produce wank fuel for gays, the answer is no.

As for producing material for lefties; I don't think you took my meaning. I'd be producing material that sabotages their causes by making them even more visibly unhinged. Lampooning them, in the style of Stephen Colbert's conservative persona, but worse: causing them to unconsciously lampoon themselves.
 
Volpone

Volpone

Zombie Hunter
Interesting. I thought about this a few days before posting. And I came to a conclusion/rationale similar to this (apart from the gay part): if you were writing Leftie Moonbat content, you could lead it in increasingly absurd directions. Because, I maintain that you can't every make a Leftie Moonbat reason or think; they're never going to go "Oh, shit. Good point. My bad. You're right." they're always going to find some rationalization for their craziness. BUT! If you were writing for them, you could lead them into increasingly crazy and untenable places where the people who are on the fence would go "oh, shit, these people are batshit."
 
Volpone

Volpone

Zombie Hunter
Kind of like when my old dog would fight a groundhog down into the creek where it couldn't turn and maneuver as well and then she'd get on top of it and drown it.
 
The Question

The Question

Eternal
Yep. I could have them petitioning to have the government recognize the rights of gay frogs to get married. Because they're already Alex Jones levels of Fucking Crazy; they just need somebody to show 'em to the stage so they can show it off in full in front of a laughing audience.
 
Volpone

Volpone

Zombie Hunter
It's almost as hard to find old threads here as it is over at the Dr. Who props board.
 
jack

jack

The Legendary Troll Kingdom
Volpone said:
It's almost as hard to find old threads here as it is over at the Dr. Who props board.
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The search function seems to work just fine if you remember the title or the keywords.

When you type "Black People in the News" for example, the link to the thread shows up 4th in the search results.
 
Volpone

Volpone

Zombie Hunter
OK. This one may be interesting. Or not. I guess we'll see. There's an ad running on the evening news here for a men's impotency clinic. It points out that 52% of men will experience erectile dysfunction (which is the same percentage as voted for Biden, but I think that's a coincidence). Anyway, they make a big point of their "all male staff" and it jars me. If I'm having a problem getting it up, I don't want a dude working on it. I want a female doctor. A hot female doctor. Maybe with some big clunky glasses that she takes off as she slowly shakes her hair out of its tight bun, seductively unbuttoning her...WHOOPS! I'm getting off-topic.

I've also been to therapeutic massage places and they'll often ask you if you want a male or female massage person. Even though technically, a dude is probably going to be stronger and thus able to give a better massage, I go with a chick. Because, you know. (Seriously, I dunno how guy massage people can make a living. Even most women are going to pick a woman. but I digress.)

Which brings me to my question: Hernia check. You gotta get one. The scheduling person says you can have a male or female doctor. What do you say?
 
Loktar

Loktar

Pinata Whacker
Volpone said:
Which brings me to my question: Hernia check. You gotta get one. The scheduling person says you can have a male or female doctor. What do you say?
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Neither. I got to have Weird Al and James Brown singing "Living With Hernia".

 
The Question

The Question

Eternal
Volpone said:
OK. This one may be interesting. Or not. I guess we'll see. There's an ad running on the evening news here for a men's impotency clinic. It points out that 52% of men will experience erectile dysfunction (which is the same percentage as voted for Biden, but I think that's a coincidence). Anyway, they make a big point of their "all male staff" and it jars me. If I'm having a problem getting it up, I don't want a dude working on it. I want a female doctor. A hot female doctor. Maybe with some big clunky glasses that she takes off as she slowly shakes her hair out of its tight bun, seductively unbuttoning her...WHOOPS! I'm getting off-topic.

I've also been to therapeutic massage places and they'll often ask you if you want a male or female massage person. Even though technically, a dude is probably going to be stronger and thus able to give a better massage, I go with a chick. Because, you know. (Seriously, I dunno how guy massage people can make a living. Even most women are going to pick a woman. but I digress.)

Which brings me to my question: Hernia check. You gotta get one. The scheduling person says you can have a male or female doctor. What do you say?
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Female. If they don't have a female, have a machine do it. If they don't have a machine that can do it, put one of them little nurse caps on an emu and we'll pretend the emu performed it.
 
Volpone

Volpone

Zombie Hunter
OK. Say you discovered a super-power: that you cannot lose at games of chance. The catch is, each time you play (spin the wheel, throw the dice, play a card, etc) you have to say "JIGABOO!" Do you take your act to Vegas and get rich (and possibly beaten bloody, but at the very least hated by all and barred from the city)?
 
Volpone

Volpone

Zombie Hunter
"JIGABOO, JIGABOO, AND JIGABOO! Full house. Read 'em and weep."
 
The Question

The Question

Eternal
Volpone said:
OK. Say you discovered a super-power: that you cannot lose at games of chance. The catch is, each time you play (spin the wheel, throw the dice, play a card, etc) you have to say "JIGABOO!" Do you take your act to Vegas and get rich (and possibly beaten bloody, but at the very least hated by all and barred from the city)?
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Sure. Never been to Vegas, so it's not like I'd be burning my reputation in any place I actually care about. And with the money I'd make winning, I could afford to hire on a contingent of jacked neo-nazis to keep the outraged negroes at a nice, comfortable distance.
 
The Question

The Question

Eternal
Besides, now that I think about it, you said I'd have to say, "Jigaboo!" -- not shout it. I'd just work that shit into conversation during high stakes poker tournaments. As Ceejay makes evident, the ability to mentally model the minds of others isn't in the cognitive toolbox of the sub-90-IQ set, meaning that a black high-stakes poker player would probably (I won't say definitively because there's an exception or two to every rule) be an extreme rarity.

Meaning that the higher I rise in the ranks, slipping in a "Jigaboo" into random chatter here and there, the less risky it'd be. Fuck it, I'd just claim it's Tourettes-related coprolalia, anyway. Yep. Slam dunk on that one.
 
Volpone

Volpone

Zombie Hunter
I would rather have a note from my doctor that I have Tourette's than a license to kill. (OK, not really, but almost. Almost.)
 
Volpone

Volpone

Zombie Hunter
Volpone said:
OK. Say you discovered a super-power: that you cannot lose at games of chance. The catch is, each time you play (spin the wheel, throw the dice, play a card, etc) you have to say "JIGABOO!" Do you take your act to Vegas and get rich (and possibly beaten bloody, but at the very least hated by all and barred from the city)?
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The Question said:
Sure. Never been to Vegas, so it's not like I'd be burning my reputation in any place I actually care about. And with the money I'd make winning, I could afford to hire on a contingent of jacked neo-nazis to keep the outraged negroes at a nice, comfortable distance.
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OK. An interesting twist: Instead of "JIGABOO!" You are guaranteed to win at games of chance if you say "Show me...PENIS!"
 
The Question

The Question

Eternal
Volpone said:
OK. An interesting twist: Instead of "JIGABOO!" You are guaranteed to win at games of chance if you say "Show me...PENIS!"
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So you're proposing something that -- in 2023, in Vegas -- would have the opposite effect of yelling, "Jigaboo!" eh? With the previous one, I'd have a mob of motherfuckers who want me dead... and with this one, it'd be a mob of fatherfuckers who just want me.

Yep. This one is worse. Of course... might also draw a coterie of smokin' hot fag hags who want to "straighten me out", too, so... hmmm.

Yeah, fuck it, I'd do it. Same strategy, spend the week winning the stake for a platinum tier poker tournament, win the big pot, then GTFO.
 
Volpone

Volpone

Zombie Hunter
:clap: Well played, sir. Well played. :techman:
 
Volpone

Volpone

Zombie Hunter
Do you like nuts? In your mouth? Golden brown and slightly salty, sweet and meaty, high in protein nuts. Maybe with some raisins and M&Ms for a kind of trail mix.
 
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