The ST:TNG Cold Open Thread...

Volpone

Zombie Hunter
OK.

OK.

This will ramble. More than it should.

Because I've been drinking. And I just realized I have a Sunday night TV lineup. A century ago, Sunday nights were amazaballs. "The Simpsons" (it didn't used to suck), "King of the Hill," "Star Trek: TNG"? (I may be forgetting. Actually I think that had wrapped by then.) Then "Hercules: The Legendary Journeys", "Xena: Warrior Princess", and "Highlander."

These days Saturdays are a "Sell My House" marathon but Sundays are more lame. UNTIL TONIGHT. Wanted dinner early, so I flipped on RetroTV for classic "Dr. Who." Retro's Who lineup has gotten lame since the BBC got greedy so it's often some terrible 1980s serial, but tonight was "Space Museum," with the 1st Doctor. Not a great serial, but at least it had a coherent plot and interesting action and acting. Then I roll to H&I for classic "Star Trek" and find they're showing "Mirror, Mirror." Eeevil Spock, with his goatee. Awesomesauce.

Now, in another thread, I posited that TNG has never had a decent cold-open. Well of late, I've been proved wrong with the one with Spock, the one where the space probe teaches Picard to play the flute (which sucks less than the way I explain it) and at least one other really compelling cold open. So I'm fully prepared to spend a 3rd hour in front of the TV. Tonight's TNG cold open? Riker falls asleep during Data's poetry reading. :/
 

CaptainWacky

I want to smell dark matter
'Cause and Effect' has the best cold open in tv history.

 

CaptainWacky

I want to smell dark matter
It's weird that the malfunction knew to give them kid-appropriate haircuts.
 

SAUSAGEMAN

Registered User
the cold open for i, borg: it's good!

it's not great or groundbreaking or interesting, exactly, but it's extremely competent.
 

CaptainWacky

I want to smell dark matter
Also Data's 'Ode to Spot' is classic and I won't hear a word against it.

 

Volpone

Zombie Hunter
QUIET, YOU! That is what started this infernal thread. No more of that talk or I'll put the leeches on you.
 

StarMan™

Active Member
I always liked The Pegasus.

PICARD: Well, they seem to have a somewhat exaggerated impression of me.
RIKER: (imitating Picard and using a doll) I don't know. I think the resemblance is rather striking. Wouldn't you agree, Number One?
PICARD: Isn't there something else you have to do?
RIKER: I'll be on the Bridge (starts to walk off with a Picard doll).

...

PICARD: Oh, er, yes. It's, er, it's for the children. I'm ... er, haha, I'm a role model.
BLACKWELL [on monitor]: I'm sure you are. Starfleet out.
 

StarMan™

Active Member
excuse me Ensign Young Picard was canonically picking up cougars???

Handsome cougars, no less.

Did Picard's shag with his Academy friend happen outside the alternate timeline? If so, did they use protection, or did she get pregnant and carry the child to term, resulting in another secret Picard baby?

Jack might have a 70 year old half-brother / sister.
 

The Question

Eternal
Picard: Secretly Kirkin' It The Whole Fuckin' Time
 

StarMan™

Active Member
Wasn't there some kerfuffle about the actress who played Marta Batanides being only 17 when the episode was filmed?

J.C. Brandy's age when Tapestry premiered in early 1993: 17 (born 1975).
She now works as an acting coach and practices hypnotherapy (*and* she's a songwriter - go get 'em, J.C!)

Patrick Stewart's age when Tapestry premiered: 52 (born 1940). Inappropriate? Perhaps. But, it should not go without mention:

Sunny Ozell (Stewart's wife of 10 years) age when Tapestry premiered: 14 (born 1978).

giggle-laugh.gif
 

Colonel Kira's Left Tit

Bearded Belly of Bajor
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