a failed suicide attempt: the answer to all life's problems?

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

Hmm...

suicide - killed oneself.
suicide attempt - tried to commit suicide, but it is inferred that it was not successful
failed suicide attempt - failed to even set up the attempt properly?
failed failed suicide attempt - announced a suicide attempt but then just sat watching TV apparently

THIS IS NOT ACCORDING TO DANIEL WEBSTER MORE LIKE DANIEL BALDWIN LOL

 

[The Dork Lord]

The only way to be sure is to reduce yourself to sub-atomic particles!

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

Nuking oneself from orbit just to be sure?

 

[Dr Dave]

That might sting a little