CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
Mark swam through the swimming pool of custard. He wondered briefly if it was possible to swim through custard. He remembered Jon Tickle walking through custard. Funnily enough Jon was standing at the side of the pool when he got there.
"Hello young Padawan, remember to clean behind your foreskin!" he said.
Something wasn't right here.
Mark picked up the bible sitting on the glass table underneath the bunny tree. It was strange, he thought for a moment, to see bunnies growing from tree branches, but they all looked happy enough. He wanted to test a theory.
He flicked through the pages of the bible. Sure enough, there were no words, only animations of spaceships shoot at each other. In his bathtub. His theory had been proven correct.
He was having a dream. And it was now a lucid dream.
"Very good, master hobbit," said Jon Tickle, now wearing a cloak and brandishing a sword. "But can you progress to the next level?"
Damn, he was back in bed, just like that! That was the closest he'd ever come. He'd been attempting to have a lucid dream for months now. It seemed to present many desirable possibilities, being in control of your dreams. But it was always cut off just as he was about to take control.
Or was it?
He'd heard once that you can't read in dreams. It was a way he could check to see if he was in a dream. It was why he had read the bible. It was why he now picked up the old, beaten-up copy of Of Mice And Men lying beside his bed.
He was pleased to see that each page was blank. Come to think of it, he didn't own a copy of Of Mice And Men. Come to think of it, his real bed wasn't made out of marshmallow.
He skipped gaily through a beautiful green field, brown leaves and bunnies falling from the trees, the cast of the Ghostbusters movies sitting on a park bench waving to him.
"A bit gay, to be honest," commented Bill Murray. He was right. What the hell was he doing? This was a lucid dream, he should be doing something cool! But the place was pretty empty.
"Hi," came a voice from above. He looked up. There was a girl sitting on the branch of a tree, her legs dangling over the side. Nice legs, he thought, and was pleased to have imagined them. He looked her in the face and was quite surprised. She was beautiful, certainly, but not in the way he would have expected. She wasn't the kind of girl he'd normally fantasise about, but he'd probably start after this dream. He wondered if maybe she was someone he'd known and had called through the back of his memory. If not, his skills really were growing. She was smiling and he decided that smile was more impressive than anything he'd before created in his dreams.
"Hello," he said. "Do I know you?"
"No, but I know you," she said. "I've been watching you for a while now. I see you've finally been able to sustain a lucid dream. Well done, Mark!"
"How do you...well, of course you'd know, this is all in my head. You're just a creation of mine, you know everything I know."
"Am I? Odd, at first I thought you could be a creation of mine. It's happened, you know. I've been so eager for a friend that sometimes one just appears and for days even weeks I can think they're real, until I find out they're just someone I've conjoured up!"
"Yeah, it's weird," said Mark. "That you're not real. You look real, sound real," - and she did, her accent was lovely and he didn't recognise it, could he really have created an accent? - "but you're really just, well, me!"
"I'm you," she asked, amused.
"Another aspect of me! Part of my brain, you know? It's like the part I am just now is the conscious part, in dream form, and you're one of the unconscious parts, but it's all me. Weird!"
"So when you going to do something cool?" she asked. "That's why people have lucid dreams, isn't it? You're a boy, shouldn't you be driving a fast car or shooting stuf..."
"Don't like cars, don't like guns," he said.
"Well what does that leave...having sex? Oh, I see..." Mark blushed.
"Err, I've just met you," he said.
"And you seem like you have a better imagination than that," she said. "That dream where you were played through a whole Zelda game but the overworld was your town and the underworld was all like classic 2D dunegons? That was great! Made me wish I could still play computer games, real ones."
"That was months ago!"
"I've been watching for a long time, remember," she winked.
"So what should I do?" he asked.
"It's a bit of a cliche, I know...but you could fly," she said.
"How do I do that?"
"You just do, it's a lucid dream." So he tried to just do it. He didn't leave the ground.
"I think you got me too distracted," he said. "Whenever I've had lucid dreams before, just short ones not like this, I've only been thinking about one thing. Whereas now I'm thinking about..."
"Me," she giggled.
"Well, yeah. Maybe I could just...jump up to where you're sitting."
"Sounds good," she said.
"I'll give it a try."
"No. Do, or do not. There is no try," she said.
"What?"
"You've never seen Star Wars? The Empire Strikes Back, Yoda?"
"No," he said, blushing again. He was one of the few people alive he thought who hadn't seen a Star Wars movie and was quite proud of it. Not that he had anything against Star Wars, he just liked being a bit different. "Wait, I haven't seen it, so how could you..."
"Are you going to jump?" she asked, tapping the branch impatiently.
"Oh, right, sure," he said, clenching his fists.
"What are you doing?"
"I'm going to clench my fists and when I untense them it'll make me jump," he said.
"Makes sense!" she said. He clench hard, then released...and he was flying upwards. It felt real. He went up, right by the branch, then somehow managed to stop in mid air and float down, landing in a sitting postion right beside Sara.
"Whoah," he said.
"You were great!" she said. "But I think our time's nearly at an end."
"Is it?"
"Yes, but don't worry, we'll see each other again and our time will get longer. There's so much I have to tell you."
"Is there?"
"Yes! But I'll just tell you one thing now, one thing I think you might suspect but will find hard to believe...but I think you'll like it. I'll hope you'll like it. Mark...I'm not part of your dream. I'm real. Well, relatively."
"That's...that's..." She kissed him quickly, on the lips, just for a second. And in that second he knew she was telling the truth. He knew she was real. She grinned again, she's hardly stopped.
"Seeya," she said and like that he was back in bed. It wasn't made out of marshmallow. He looked at the clock and found it was time for him to get up, but he couldn't move. He didn't want to, in case he'd forget what had just happened.
"What the hell just happened?" he asked no one in particular.
TO BE CONTINUED MAYBE LOL!?
"Hello young Padawan, remember to clean behind your foreskin!" he said.
Something wasn't right here.
Mark picked up the bible sitting on the glass table underneath the bunny tree. It was strange, he thought for a moment, to see bunnies growing from tree branches, but they all looked happy enough. He wanted to test a theory.
He flicked through the pages of the bible. Sure enough, there were no words, only animations of spaceships shoot at each other. In his bathtub. His theory had been proven correct.
He was having a dream. And it was now a lucid dream.
"Very good, master hobbit," said Jon Tickle, now wearing a cloak and brandishing a sword. "But can you progress to the next level?"
Damn, he was back in bed, just like that! That was the closest he'd ever come. He'd been attempting to have a lucid dream for months now. It seemed to present many desirable possibilities, being in control of your dreams. But it was always cut off just as he was about to take control.
Or was it?
He'd heard once that you can't read in dreams. It was a way he could check to see if he was in a dream. It was why he had read the bible. It was why he now picked up the old, beaten-up copy of Of Mice And Men lying beside his bed.
He was pleased to see that each page was blank. Come to think of it, he didn't own a copy of Of Mice And Men. Come to think of it, his real bed wasn't made out of marshmallow.
He skipped gaily through a beautiful green field, brown leaves and bunnies falling from the trees, the cast of the Ghostbusters movies sitting on a park bench waving to him.
"A bit gay, to be honest," commented Bill Murray. He was right. What the hell was he doing? This was a lucid dream, he should be doing something cool! But the place was pretty empty.
"Hi," came a voice from above. He looked up. There was a girl sitting on the branch of a tree, her legs dangling over the side. Nice legs, he thought, and was pleased to have imagined them. He looked her in the face and was quite surprised. She was beautiful, certainly, but not in the way he would have expected. She wasn't the kind of girl he'd normally fantasise about, but he'd probably start after this dream. He wondered if maybe she was someone he'd known and had called through the back of his memory. If not, his skills really were growing. She was smiling and he decided that smile was more impressive than anything he'd before created in his dreams.
"Hello," he said. "Do I know you?"
"No, but I know you," she said. "I've been watching you for a while now. I see you've finally been able to sustain a lucid dream. Well done, Mark!"
"How do you...well, of course you'd know, this is all in my head. You're just a creation of mine, you know everything I know."
"Am I? Odd, at first I thought you could be a creation of mine. It's happened, you know. I've been so eager for a friend that sometimes one just appears and for days even weeks I can think they're real, until I find out they're just someone I've conjoured up!"
"Yeah, it's weird," said Mark. "That you're not real. You look real, sound real," - and she did, her accent was lovely and he didn't recognise it, could he really have created an accent? - "but you're really just, well, me!"
"I'm you," she asked, amused.
"Another aspect of me! Part of my brain, you know? It's like the part I am just now is the conscious part, in dream form, and you're one of the unconscious parts, but it's all me. Weird!"
"So when you going to do something cool?" she asked. "That's why people have lucid dreams, isn't it? You're a boy, shouldn't you be driving a fast car or shooting stuf..."
"Don't like cars, don't like guns," he said.
"Well what does that leave...having sex? Oh, I see..." Mark blushed.
"Err, I've just met you," he said.
"And you seem like you have a better imagination than that," she said. "That dream where you were played through a whole Zelda game but the overworld was your town and the underworld was all like classic 2D dunegons? That was great! Made me wish I could still play computer games, real ones."
"That was months ago!"
"I've been watching for a long time, remember," she winked.
"So what should I do?" he asked.
"It's a bit of a cliche, I know...but you could fly," she said.
"How do I do that?"
"You just do, it's a lucid dream." So he tried to just do it. He didn't leave the ground.
"I think you got me too distracted," he said. "Whenever I've had lucid dreams before, just short ones not like this, I've only been thinking about one thing. Whereas now I'm thinking about..."
"Me," she giggled.
"Well, yeah. Maybe I could just...jump up to where you're sitting."
"Sounds good," she said.
"I'll give it a try."
"No. Do, or do not. There is no try," she said.
"What?"
"You've never seen Star Wars? The Empire Strikes Back, Yoda?"
"No," he said, blushing again. He was one of the few people alive he thought who hadn't seen a Star Wars movie and was quite proud of it. Not that he had anything against Star Wars, he just liked being a bit different. "Wait, I haven't seen it, so how could you..."
"Are you going to jump?" she asked, tapping the branch impatiently.
"Oh, right, sure," he said, clenching his fists.
"What are you doing?"
"I'm going to clench my fists and when I untense them it'll make me jump," he said.
"Makes sense!" she said. He clench hard, then released...and he was flying upwards. It felt real. He went up, right by the branch, then somehow managed to stop in mid air and float down, landing in a sitting postion right beside Sara.
"Whoah," he said.
"You were great!" she said. "But I think our time's nearly at an end."
"Is it?"
"Yes, but don't worry, we'll see each other again and our time will get longer. There's so much I have to tell you."
"Is there?"
"Yes! But I'll just tell you one thing now, one thing I think you might suspect but will find hard to believe...but I think you'll like it. I'll hope you'll like it. Mark...I'm not part of your dream. I'm real. Well, relatively."
"That's...that's..." She kissed him quickly, on the lips, just for a second. And in that second he knew she was telling the truth. He knew she was real. She grinned again, she's hardly stopped.
"Seeya," she said and like that he was back in bed. It wasn't made out of marshmallow. He looked at the clock and found it was time for him to get up, but he couldn't move. He didn't want to, in case he'd forget what had just happened.
"What the hell just happened?" he asked no one in particular.
TO BE CONTINUED MAYBE LOL!?
