CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
DETECTIVE AGENCIES! DR DAVE IS THE MOST LOVED AND RESPECTED PRIVATE DICK IN ALL THE LAND. BUT HE IS ABOUT TO FACE HIS GREATEST CHALLENGE YET. AND THIS TIME, HE MAY NOT GET OUT ALIVE. COULD THIS BE THE FINAL DR DAVE ADVENTURE? READ ON!
(Dr Dave is sitting behind his desk in his detective agency. He is staring at the door. He knows someone is about to arrive. A knock.)
Dr Dave: ENTER.
(A woman walks in. Not just any woman. A beautiful woman. The kind of dame who can stop traffic. She has long legs. The kind of legs that can stop trains. And boats. She sits down and looks Dr Dave in the eyes. He nods.)
Dr Dave: Why lady, you appear to be a dame worth killing for.
Woman: Umm, thanks?
Dr Dave: Who do you want me to kill?
Woman: No one! I want you to find my husband!
Dr Dave: Husband? Put some fucking trousers on then.
Woman: Trousers? What are you, European?
Dr Dave: No, I'm Dr Dave. I say trousers instead of pants. Deal with it or get out.
Woman: You're so rude! But I've heard you're the greatest detective in all the land...
Dr Dave: Yes that's right. And the most loved and respected. Especially by dames.
Woman: Well, I hope you can help me!
Dr Dave: Where's your fucking husband then.
Woman: He was kidnapped!
Dr Dave: What a loser.
Woman: Hey!
Dr Dave: Tell me what happened in some detail.
Woman: I was having a shower. I was completely naked. I was soaping up my ample, pert breasts when I heard a noise. I ran downstairs. I saw a man carrying my unconscious husband outside! I was still naked. I looked him right in the eye while he was looking me right in the breasts. I'll never forget that face. Then he went outside. I followed. It was muddy, because it had been raining. He got in a car and drove away. I ran after. The car splashed mud on my naked body. I can't remember whcih direction it drove away in. I was so confused and naked. Please help m!
Dr Dave: Yes that was some detail. Perhaps you are not as stupid as all previous evidence suggested.
Woman: Thank you.
Dr Dave: This man, you said you saw his face. What did he look like?
Woman: That's the crazy part...you might not believe me, but...it was GEORGE W BUSH.
Dr Dave: Fuck me for a living.
Woman: Do you believe me? His face looked a bit more...rubbery than I remember. And he was locked in one sickening expression. But it was defintiely him!
Dr Dave: I can deduce from that that the kidnapper was actually a man in a RUBBER GEORGE W BUSH MASK.
Woman: Ooooh, that makes sense!
Dr Dave: Now let's get you out of those wet clothes.
Woman: But my clothes aren't wet!
(Dr Dave presses a big red button on his desk. A sprinkler above the woman turns on, drenching her.)
Dr Dave: YOU WERE SAYING?
TO BE CONTINUED
