A new way to beat facebook

[headvoid]

1. never "like" a brand, they just spam you with crap and recipes you will never actually do
2. Remove all your friends who post crap about "Oooh I fancy a coffee" or other vague need states they appear to be in
3. Remove all your friends who post pictures of their food
4. Remove all your friends who can't spell and treat it like text speak
5. Remove people who you don't actually like
6. Look at your remaining friends. If you actually saw one of them on a train, but in the next carriage - would you
a) seek them out when the train stops and speak to them
b) delay getting of the train and hang back so you don't have to talk to them
(a - keep, b - remove)

Then facebook will simply be full of those people you like and you can use it like an address book for people you may need to contact in the future.

Hey presto - all that crap is gone!

 

[CaptainWacky]

Yeah, I don't get why people think we want to see pictures of what they're about to eat...but I have food issues so maybe it's a normal person thing?

 

[curiousa2z]

fuck! I posted that pic of the pretty loaves of bread I baked!

*shamed*

 

[whisky]

I remember posing a picture here of chipsticks with melted cheese on, don't think I posted that on facebook though.

But generally the food pictures are a bit weird, might as well post a picture of your shit too, like before and after.

 

[Fuddlemiff]

Last week I went out drinking with some workmates and one of them (who'd added me on Facebook and I'd already been regretting since it meant I couldn't casually complain about work/workmates) insisted on checking us in at each and every place. I think it was five or six bars by the time we parted ways and I'd been made to look like a total alcy. Which was something I'd been hoping to keep private.

(I know there are loads of privacy settings but there are loads of them)

Anyway, shan't typ 2 much mor innit cos me chicken kievs jus finish cookin innit

 

[headvoid]

I have posted pics of jam making - crafting very different to here is some cheese n toast I am about to eat.

 

[Filthy Whore]

I bought a caramel apple at the store and found out the inside was rotted so I cut it in half and posted the photo on facebook. My friends were glad I did. I'm sure of it.

 

[Dr Dave]

Yeah I don't get the food pix either. Like are we supposed to be impressed that your eating something?

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

Back in college (the very university that is hosting tonight's presidential debate) there was a guy on my floor of the dorm who took a humungous crap that was a solid 18-24" log. He was so proud of it that he scooped it out of the bowl and placed it on some newspapers on the elevator floor, so that people could marvel at it as they rode up and down that day.

It's a good thing Facebook wasn't around in the 80s.

 

[whisky]

Log in an elevator!

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

Janie's got a dung.

 

[Cassie]

I beat Facebook by NEVER JOINING THAT DEVILISH PLACE.

 

[Filthy Whore]

 

[curiousa2z]

CASSIE JOIN US!

 

[The Tomtrek]

6. Look at your remaining friends. If you actually saw one of them on a train, but in the next carriage - would you
a) seek them out when the train stops and speak to them
b) delay getting of the train and hang back so you don't have to talk to them
(a - keep, b - remove)

But that means I remove every person ever.

 

[Cassie]

I WILL NOT JOIN YOUR CULT, CURIOUSA2Z.

 

[CaptainWacky]

I only joined to back Brand and Ross.

 

[headvoid]

But that means I remove every person ever.

The only person to discover the truth behind the first post.

 

[Cody]

Anybody trolling amanda todd's RIP page?

 

[headvoid]

You mistake us for fuckwits.