For all his other faults, Dwayne Florenz Schneider was a competent repair man. Slurring his good name with the horrors that have occurred since I left was... regrettable.
Oh, I'd sooo do Valerie Bertinelli. Not the Valerie Bertinelli in the above vid, because that would be kinda icky and illegal. But the Valerie Bertinelli post-Jennie Craig. Ooh la la!
And I hear she's bi! We're on the same team! WOOT!