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And so I drink

Hambil

Hambil

I AM A GOLDEN GOD
I would probably get high, or try it, if I had access to pot. But I do not, so I drink. Tomorrow, I know it will hurt, a lot, and I will regret, but today I have not blown the top of my head off, and that is something, is it not?

And I wonder why I post here, and why any of you would care.

I even wonder if it is fair for me to post here. I am a dead man walking , after all, no matter how bad they seem to be at predicting my actual death day.

With each sentence I am tempted to delete it all.

But, honestly, there are not many place left for me to go. And I know others have pain,. perhaps greater pain than I. But this is my pain, and I can share it here, and you might laugh, poke fun, but you understand. I know you do. So here I am.

I have been here many years, and been many things.

I am drunk now as I have been many times before.

And I love.

And I hurt.

And I will die.

And you will forget me.

And that's okay.

I will be dead then, and I won't care. You are here now. You fucked up bastards and bitches. Thank you.
 
You know what sucks? Even if the Prop legalizing marijuana passes here in CA, I will still not be able to partake of it as I am a federal employee
 
^see?!! I TOLD you the Universe needs a punch!
IRONY.
JOKE'S ON US!
FUTILITY!
BAH.


Whatever religion hates the Universe, I'm joining!
GRRRR and GROWL and trash-talking n stuff!
now to get a mean & cranky AV!
 
I still can't believe I don't drink when I'm home alone. I come from a family of drinkers.

Then again I'd probably be dead already if I did. Good thing the idea doesn't really occur to me to do it. I only drink when I go out. And I don't really go out.

I'm going to dissolve into this couch.
 
If I ever meet Hambil I will slip some MDMA into his drink and laugh my ass off, until the ambulance and police arrive.
 
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