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ARRRGH!!! eHarmony makes me want to kill a hobo...

Volpone

Volpone

Zombie Hunter
I mean, it does seem to have a creepy knack for picking people you'd hit it off with. But trying to interact with them is like conducting brain surgery wearing oven mitts.

First off, when it sends you matches you can give them feedback on how good a match it is. But there is no category for physical fitness. I watch what I eat and I work out. As such, I was able to get my waistline back down to what it was when I left high school. They keep sending me 200# broads as matches. Then when I say I'm not interested, the feedback boxes are like "What's the matter? Does she live too far away? Is she too tall? Is her picture blurry?" No. It's that she apparently ate the last person she dated.

Yeah, I know it's shallow and petty. Sue me. I'm a shallow, petty person.

Anyhow, the other thing is you can't just talk to someone. You have to work through this "guided communication" thing. So if someone's profile says "Have you ever read 'Ender's Game'?" You may want to say "Yes! I love 'Ender's Game'!" but instead you have to say "If you were a tree, what kind would you be?" or "Where do you see yourself living in 15 years?" or some other damned thing.

Then, if you're not interested in someone, you (or they) "close" the match. If you want to, you can send a reason why you closed the match. Most people do "other", but one girl actually sent "I'm pursuing another relationship." OK. Cool. In that case I actually wanted to wish her luck and happiness with her guy. ONLY THAT ISN'T AN OPTION! :mad: The closest I can come is "Good luck with your search."

Like I said, I've got a good friend who swears by the site, met his wife there, and is insanely happy with her. But it is really getting my blood pressure up.
 
And the other thing? After a bad experience with Match.com, I'm really cautious about the photos. On Match I met this girl that I actually clicked with quite a bit, but she had photos up that were about 4 years and 25 pounds old and when I met her it was like...wow...you don't look at all like you do in your profile.:smfundecided:

So now when I see a profile where all the photos are an EXTREME CLOSEUP so all you see is their face I get reeeeeally nervous. If there's remotely any roundness to the cheeks or a hint of another chin developing I'm gone.
 
Do you have a fat phobia, Volp?

I wish you'd have seen me back in March. I had wobbly bits all over with wobbly bits on top. You would have run away screaming and I would have laughed heartily. :D

Although, that said, I've been looking over at Bodybuilding.com quite a bit recently to see what I can do about my arms (because they're really, really weak compared to my legs) and I'd like to tighten everything up. Some of the transformations are quite remarkable -- like people going from 300lbs to 130lbs or something and being quite muscley in the space of a couple of years. I don't understand all the jargon though, like keto and cutting and bulking.

Anyway, I'm digressing from your unsuccessful search for a life mate. As you were. :D
 
The missus and I peruse certain, shall we say... dating sites....

When it comes to old pictures and close up shots you are dead on, nothing sends me running for the back button faster. There are alot of the "sitcom couples" smoking hot girl with a pear shaped good old boy. There are also more of the opposite couples than you might think. Those attractive, fit guys had to see something in their bigger spouses didn't they?

As for a bigger girl? We have no real problem with them if they're obviously comfortable with who they are, and carry it well. Height Weight Proportionate are words to live by. Don't automatically rule them out, some people are just big. It's how they carry it, and if they work to stay fit that makes a big difference.

You may be shallow, but you're like what, 45? Ya ain't getting any younger... ;)
 
I've dated a few chubby guys. I like that they enjoy their food. They also seemed to enjoy many nice things about life - movies, music, books, museums, driving and exploring. That is my kind of guy.

I've also dated a few athletic types that were healthy eaters too, but they worked off what they ate. They were nice but a bit too regimented for me. Of course, now that I have to really watch what I eat and exercise all the time, I might find them more attractive.

I've also dated a couple of piggos with no manners that didn't do much but lie on the sofa and fart after they ate. Those guys come fat and thin. They are no fun - just work, and they are ugly inside and out. Yuck.

I've thought about maybe looking for a mate to spend the end of my life with but I don't think I will find anyone I would be interested in online. People online lie about themselves - or else they just don't see themselves clearly. They need to be someone I can relate to in real life and have something in common with me in the things I do offline. I don't think I will find anyone suitable for me though. The single men at my age are single for a reason, and usually a good one. They say people who have been happily married and become widowed are able to have a successful marriage afterward. I just don't think I could deal with a widower, being compared to his wonderful deceased wife. I can be such a bitch and I'd always be compared to the saint! Oh well. As the saying goes, if ain't broke, don't fix it.
 
Do you actually have any specific long-term goals in mind involving women and what dating will lead too, Volpy (co-habitation, marriage, 2.5 kids, white picket fence, etc.) or are you just looking for a fun hook-up, or maybe a casual ahem..."friend with benefits?" (Those are the best kind of friends to have!)

Not judging either choice, I was just kinda curious. If you even feel like you care to tell me, that is.
 
A few things the discerning body connoisseur should read.

http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/Internet_disease

http://www.officialdatingresource.com/beware-the-dreaded-myspace-angles-pics/

perspective-motivational-poster.jpg
 
they didn't give you a thing to fill out at the beginning saying what kind of person you were attracted to? you'd think there would be a way to say you're only interested in thin girls.
 
Volpone said:
I mean, it does seem to have a creepy knack for picking people you'd hit it off with. But trying to interact with them is like conducting brain surgery wearing oven mitts.

First off, when it sends you matches you can give them feedback on how good a match it is. But there is no category for physical fitness. I watch what I eat and I work out. As such, I was able to get my waistline back down to what it was when I left high school. They keep sending me 200# broads as matches. Then when I say I'm not interested, the feedback boxes are like "What's the matter? Does she live too far away? Is she too tall? Is her picture blurry?" No. It's that she apparently ate the last person she dated.

Yeah, I know it's shallow and petty. Sue me. I'm a shallow, petty person.

Anyhow, the other thing is you can't just talk to someone. You have to work through this "guided communication" thing. So if someone's profile says "Have you ever read 'Ender's Game'?" You may want to say "Yes! I love 'Ender's Game'!" but instead you have to say "If you were a tree, what kind would you be?" or "Where do you see yourself living in 15 years?" or some other damned thing.

Then, if you're not interested in someone, you (or they) "close" the match. If you want to, you can send a reason why you closed the match. Most people do "other", but one girl actually sent "I'm pursuing another relationship." OK. Cool. In that case I actually wanted to wish her luck and happiness with her guy. ONLY THAT ISN'T AN OPTION! :mad: The closest I can come is "Good luck with your search."

Like I said, I've got a good friend who swears by the site, met his wife there, and is insanely happy with her. But it is really getting my blood pressure up.
Click to expand...

I dont care if a guy has a few extra pounds, especially one thats older. But he's not a real man if he isn't at least 6'2". It seems short guys are always trying to compensate for that lack of manliness with something silly. I want a man who I feel safe with, one I know will take care of me, not some scrawny midget then I'LL always be stuck opening the pickle jar or changing the lightbulb. I do that now. Funny how men dont have the slightest clue about proper measurement; if it be the length of the fish they caught, the size of their penis or their height. They always want to add 3 inches.

;)
mm
 
The man knows what he wants. That's the FIRST element to being happy, for both him and for his prospective date.

One other comment, however, having spent a LOT of time with ballerinas, I can say that thin isn't always attractive. Especially if the thin person has body image problems (and it DOES happen). I'd much rather have a lady with extra pounds who is happy and confident than a skinny girl who obsesses about staying that way (or getting thinner).

It is the woman who is happy in her skin and revels in her femininity who catches the eye. Give me May West any day over Giselle.

1138707288_icturesmae.jpg


-SB
 
missmanners said:
I dont care if a guy has a few extra pounds, especially one thats older. But he's not a real man if he isn't at least 6'2".
Click to expand...

5'8", and all Man, Dear.

Although it's a requirement that a man be able to Gracefully and Easily pick his woman up and carry her to bed. Unless she's much taller (and I had an old love who was 6'1"...without the heels) that can be accomplished at my "medium" height.

I am tall enough to touch the floor. ;)

-SB
 
missmanners said:
Funny how men dont have the slightest clue about proper measurement; if it be the length of the fish they caught, the size of their penis or their height. They always want to add 3 inches.

;)
mm
Click to expand...

Interestingly enough, if you add 3" to my height, I'm 6'2".
 
Well there's my problem. I don't exaggerate. That said, I'm pretty close to 6' in my motorcycle boots. On the short side of 5'10 barefoot and they've got a pretty substantial heel (but not excessive).

And anyway, what're you gonna do with a 10" cock? If a woman wants that she should date a pony. :twisted:
 
I'm not really fussy when it comes to height. Anything my height (5'6") and over will do fine. Well, maybe up to 6'4". I went out with a man who was 6'4" and it nearly broke my neck to kiss him, and I had to buy stacked shoes.

But shorter than 5'6" would be a bit odd, I think.
 
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