CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
fgsfsdjllsdldfhkldfhkshshh hjh fjj JAWA JUICE
I like the opening because the ship is all shiney and Corde has to die so that Padme can live, as it should be. I would hope the actress who played her would give her life for Natalie Portman too.
Captain Typhoo should have been played by Robert Beltran.
Jar Jar isn't annoying at all in his brief appearance. Anyone who says so is racist.
In the Coruscant bits at the start it's more obvious than at any other point in the prequels that everything's being shot in front of a blue screen and, for a moment, I considered that maybe some of the complaints about Lucash over-using CGI were just, BUT THEN AGAIN, how else could he show Coruscant other than by extensive CGI work? The reason other directors use less CGI than Lucas is because they have lower ambition.
BAD LINE DELIVERY: "Oh, you know Master, I couldn't find a speeder I really like." This could have been a fine line but Hayden totally botches it. Luckily the banter between he and Obi-Wan is much improved in Episode 3 and you can buy them as friends then.
I like the whole Coruscant chase sequence. I remember feeling slightly motion sick when I saw it at the cinema FIVE YEARS AGO WHERE IS THE TIME GOING WE'RE JUST GOING TO DIE. It looks great and the music sounds like soemthing out of a F-Zero game.
The Deathsticks bit is classic and funnier than anything in Serenity. [/controversial]
Ani is a whiney fuck at times and yeah that's a bit bad when you consider he grows up to be Darth Vader, but he is a teenager here (I think) and I bet even Hitler was a whiney fuck when he was a teenager.
Dexter Jettser is a fun creation and the voice acting is good.
The librarian is a bitch and they should have shown Ani killing it in ROTS.
Natalie Portman is really good looking.
The Younglings training with Yoda is SO CUTE I ALMOST TURNED INTO A GIRl.
"Lost a planet, Master Obi-Wan has. How embarrassing. How embarrassing."
The Obi-Wan investigates stuff is really good and Ewan McGregor makes my socks vibrate.
Boba Fett has an annoying voice.
Jango is a slippery customer and I like his scene talking with Obi-Wan.
The Padme/Ani stuff isn't as good but of course isn't as bad as everyone says. The bit with Ani riding the unconvincing CGI animal should have been cut.
BAD LINE ALERT: "If Master Obi-Wan saw me using my powers like this he would be very grumpy!"
The fireside scene: Okay, this is bad. Someone at TrekBBS said Ani's dialogue is bad on purpose because he's inexperienced with women and that kind of just about makes sense to me (because I'm deranged) but it's still not good to watch. But Natalie looks really hot.
Anyway, it has the cool Obi-Wan/Jango fight in the rain afterwards which makes up for it IMMHO!
The movie does drag a bit in the middle. Maybe a few minutes could have been cut. Don't me what, I'm not a film editor.
I really like the scene where Ani meets Watto on Tatooine again, and not just becauase the animation on Watto's face is amazing. I like the subtext where Watto's trying to act like they're old friends now that Ani's a powerful Jedi but Ani just remembers him as the guy who kept him and his mother as slaves.
Aunt Beru is a cutie.
"Yeah, get 'im dad!"
"BLAST, this is why I hate flying!"
The asteroid chase is a good example of premature internet whinery, because I remember when the spoilers leaked probably a year before the movie was even out there were message board posters complaining of "another asteroid chase, Lu-CASH is ripping off himself!" but it's nothing like the asteroid chase from TESB so they were WRONG and GAY. The sound effect from the sonic charges is really cool even if it makes no sense (sound in space.)
The bit where Ani confesses to slaughtering the sand people is bad, mainly because of Padme's lack of reaction. You could blame Portman BUT I WOULD NEVER DO THAT so I'll blame Lucas for not, you know, DIRECTING her. Maybe he was too busy swimming in a big vault of money and unsold Jar-Jar action figures the bastard. Or maybe Padme thinks Sand People are subhuman and doesn't see what the big deal is.
What's with Saruman telling Obi-Wan about the sith being in charge of the senate? Is he trying to get Obi-Wan to join him so he can betray his master? That would be in keeping with the actions of the sith but if it's so he doesn't make much of an attempt at it.
3PO SHOULD SHUT THE FUCK UP SOMETIMES.
The factory/platform level bit is unnecessary and Ani and Padme could probably have been captured some other way. It's nice to see R2 flying though!
I like the way the action escalates from Obi-Wan, Padme and Ani fighting the monster to the Jedi versus the droids to full on droid versus clones WAR.
"She can't do that...shoot her...or something!"
Mace Windu chopping Jango's head off is funny.
"This is such a drag!" was one 3PO joke too many and should have been cut as 3PO would NEVER SAY THAT.
"Around the survivors a perimeter create!"
The lightsabre duel is good, but not one of the best. Then Yoda arrives and brings the awesomeness.
Ian McDiarmid isn't in it enough but he's always excellent when on screen.
IT'S A GOOD MOVIE OKAY, I guess I'm just the kind of person who will never dislike Star Wars. The weakest of the prequels, yes, but better than Return Of The Jedi overall.
8/10
"I'm programmed for etiquette, not destruction!"
I like the opening because the ship is all shiney and Corde has to die so that Padme can live, as it should be. I would hope the actress who played her would give her life for Natalie Portman too.
Captain Typhoo should have been played by Robert Beltran.
Jar Jar isn't annoying at all in his brief appearance. Anyone who says so is racist.
In the Coruscant bits at the start it's more obvious than at any other point in the prequels that everything's being shot in front of a blue screen and, for a moment, I considered that maybe some of the complaints about Lucash over-using CGI were just, BUT THEN AGAIN, how else could he show Coruscant other than by extensive CGI work? The reason other directors use less CGI than Lucas is because they have lower ambition.
BAD LINE DELIVERY: "Oh, you know Master, I couldn't find a speeder I really like." This could have been a fine line but Hayden totally botches it. Luckily the banter between he and Obi-Wan is much improved in Episode 3 and you can buy them as friends then.
I like the whole Coruscant chase sequence. I remember feeling slightly motion sick when I saw it at the cinema FIVE YEARS AGO WHERE IS THE TIME GOING WE'RE JUST GOING TO DIE. It looks great and the music sounds like soemthing out of a F-Zero game.
The Deathsticks bit is classic and funnier than anything in Serenity. [/controversial]
Ani is a whiney fuck at times and yeah that's a bit bad when you consider he grows up to be Darth Vader, but he is a teenager here (I think) and I bet even Hitler was a whiney fuck when he was a teenager.
Dexter Jettser is a fun creation and the voice acting is good.
The librarian is a bitch and they should have shown Ani killing it in ROTS.
Natalie Portman is really good looking.
The Younglings training with Yoda is SO CUTE I ALMOST TURNED INTO A GIRl.
"Lost a planet, Master Obi-Wan has. How embarrassing. How embarrassing."
The Obi-Wan investigates stuff is really good and Ewan McGregor makes my socks vibrate.
Boba Fett has an annoying voice.
Jango is a slippery customer and I like his scene talking with Obi-Wan.
The Padme/Ani stuff isn't as good but of course isn't as bad as everyone says. The bit with Ani riding the unconvincing CGI animal should have been cut.
BAD LINE ALERT: "If Master Obi-Wan saw me using my powers like this he would be very grumpy!"
The fireside scene: Okay, this is bad. Someone at TrekBBS said Ani's dialogue is bad on purpose because he's inexperienced with women and that kind of just about makes sense to me (because I'm deranged) but it's still not good to watch. But Natalie looks really hot.
Anyway, it has the cool Obi-Wan/Jango fight in the rain afterwards which makes up for it IMMHO!
The movie does drag a bit in the middle. Maybe a few minutes could have been cut. Don't me what, I'm not a film editor.
I really like the scene where Ani meets Watto on Tatooine again, and not just becauase the animation on Watto's face is amazing. I like the subtext where Watto's trying to act like they're old friends now that Ani's a powerful Jedi but Ani just remembers him as the guy who kept him and his mother as slaves.
Aunt Beru is a cutie.
"Yeah, get 'im dad!"
"BLAST, this is why I hate flying!"
The asteroid chase is a good example of premature internet whinery, because I remember when the spoilers leaked probably a year before the movie was even out there were message board posters complaining of "another asteroid chase, Lu-CASH is ripping off himself!" but it's nothing like the asteroid chase from TESB so they were WRONG and GAY. The sound effect from the sonic charges is really cool even if it makes no sense (sound in space.)
The bit where Ani confesses to slaughtering the sand people is bad, mainly because of Padme's lack of reaction. You could blame Portman BUT I WOULD NEVER DO THAT so I'll blame Lucas for not, you know, DIRECTING her. Maybe he was too busy swimming in a big vault of money and unsold Jar-Jar action figures the bastard. Or maybe Padme thinks Sand People are subhuman and doesn't see what the big deal is.
What's with Saruman telling Obi-Wan about the sith being in charge of the senate? Is he trying to get Obi-Wan to join him so he can betray his master? That would be in keeping with the actions of the sith but if it's so he doesn't make much of an attempt at it.
3PO SHOULD SHUT THE FUCK UP SOMETIMES.
The factory/platform level bit is unnecessary and Ani and Padme could probably have been captured some other way. It's nice to see R2 flying though!
I like the way the action escalates from Obi-Wan, Padme and Ani fighting the monster to the Jedi versus the droids to full on droid versus clones WAR.
"She can't do that...shoot her...or something!"
Mace Windu chopping Jango's head off is funny.
"This is such a drag!" was one 3PO joke too many and should have been cut as 3PO would NEVER SAY THAT.
"Around the survivors a perimeter create!"
The lightsabre duel is good, but not one of the best. Then Yoda arrives and brings the awesomeness.
Ian McDiarmid isn't in it enough but he's always excellent when on screen.
IT'S A GOOD MOVIE OKAY, I guess I'm just the kind of person who will never dislike Star Wars. The weakest of the prequels, yes, but better than Return Of The Jedi overall.
8/10
"I'm programmed for etiquette, not destruction!"
