Big Brother freestyle is BACK!

[CaptainWacky]

(The housemates are having a party. Susie is watching.)

Mikey: Go on Glyn, ask Miss Susie for a dance.

Glyn: I think I'll just have another ale.

(Mikey pushes him into Susie. He bounces off her tits and crashes into Imogen.)

Imogen: Babes, like, it's cool babes don't worry about it babes...

Glyn: In welsh, please!

*Imogen and Glyn talk in Welsh*

Nikki: I think he's telling her he's GAY!

Jayne: *burps* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

(Spiral walks in.)

Spiral: Alroight there lads what's da craic altogether?

Nikki: OH MY GOD WHO ARE YOU!!?

Spiral: Alroight I'm Spoiral!

Nikki: Squirrel?

Lea: He knows every fookin' thing about his and he's fookin' here to fookin' destroy ME, I mean us, he's fookin' ruthless and he's fookin' in it to fookin' win OH PETE!!!!!111

Pete: Wankers!

Imogen: I think...

Richard: OH MY GOD you're so dull and boring and oridinary what do you even do!

(Susie moves her foot.)

Richard: WOW Susie I loved the way you did that, you're such a strong woman!

Jayne: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *burps*

(Michael walks in.)

Richard: Oh hi there!

Michael: WHOAH back up a bit there, don't you "oh hi there" to me.

Richard: Oh I'm sorry I didn't mean to offend you!

Michael: I'm getting a really negative energy from your "oh hi there"!

Richard: Well the way I see it there's three options...

(Jonathon and Jennie walk in.)

*Jennie and Mikey talk in scouse*

(Aisleyne walks in.)

Nikki: AAAAAAAAAH, SHE'S GOING TO DISEMBOWEL ME!!!!

(Nikki hides in the tea pot.)

Aisleyne: Oh ya betta know yerself if yer hiding in the tea pot from me, little girl! I'm back in the hizzy for shizzy and I'm off the shizzle my nizzles, innit!

Victor: Shut the fuck up, yeah?

Lea: Oh I can't believe that bitch is back, Nikki, don't worry I'll protect you, we'll get her out and protect Pete!

(Lea walks over to Aisleyne.)

Lea: Oh I can't believe that bitch is hiding in the tea pot from you, Aisleyne, on't worry we'll get her out and protect Pete!

Pete: You know I can here everything you say from my position up your arse.

Lea: It was all, umm, Jayne's fault!

Pete: Makes sense! I believe everything you say without question as usual! Wankers!

(Glyn throws up over Jonathon. Jonathon and Spiral start pulling his legs off.)

Spiral: Aye that's it, pull 'is blooidy legs 'arder like, foir the craic!

Susie: Right I'm going to bed, nighty-night chaps!

THE END

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

IT'S MORE LIKE THE US THAN I THOUGHT!

 

[CaptainWacky]

We'RE ALL HUMAN AFTER ALL

 

[Mentalist]

Awesome. AWESOME.

Once I'm back upto date I'll report on some more goings on...

 

[CaptainWacky]

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2001290023-2006300564,00.html

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

There's an anorexic with an abusive boyfriend on the current Real World US, and they're just letting her go about her business. She is seeing a therapist though.

It's rather disturbing to watch at times. I can see if she went on a talk show for an intervention, but filming her for a whole season without trying to help walks a fine line between educational and grotesque.

 

[CaptainWacky]

No one in the house knows she was anorexic. They keep making fun of the way she eats.

 

[CaptainWacky]

Damn it, what was the origin of Nikki's "I think he's saying he's GAY?"

I can only retain one BB in my mind at a time.

 

[Fuddlemiff]

I'm disappointed you never had Richard use the word "disingenuous". I think he rifled through a thesaurus before entering the house, looking for a more intellectual way of calling people "plastic", which was his other favourite insult.

 

[CaptainWacky]

Aisleyne:JONATHAN, JONATHAN, NOOOOOOOOOOO!