Blackfoot's posting party at Troll-Valhalla...

Cacophony

lkjewro23piqjur2oijkslfaw e
Wow, I'm bitchy tonite :p
 

Cacophony

lkjewro23piqjur2oijkslfaw e
No.
 

Cacophony

lkjewro23piqjur2oijkslfaw e
What in the hell does that mean, anyway?
 

Cacophony

lkjewro23piqjur2oijkslfaw e
I dont speak jive, god damnit!
 

jack

The Legendary Troll Kingdom
Cacophony said:
What in the hell does that mean, anyway?

It's his retarded way of being "hip"
 

Cacophony

lkjewro23piqjur2oijkslfaw e
Hasn't anyone told him that he's failing miserably?
 

jack

The Legendary Troll Kingdom
Sure. Everyone does all the time.

What do you suppose they REALLY put in those IceHouse 40's, one would wonder?
 

SaintLucifer

beer, I want beer
BLACKFOOT said:
To find the supposedly most racist son-of-a-bitch there. I'm not convinced they are. It's about time I(Blackfoot aka: King of the Gutters, The New Jack.®) put this cupcakeer shit to rest.

It'll be a posting party. Friday, June 8 @ 9:00 PM until I get bored. Trolls with accounts at Troll-Valhalla are welcome. St.Lucifer and Jack Venooker, your service are not needed at my party. Both of you suck at the cupcakeer game. Thanks for trying to get at me dawg.

And another thang®, I posted this at Troll-Valhalla:




This is what Troll-Valhalla came up with:







^That's just fucking weak. That want cut it.^

Blackfoot aka: King of the Gutters, The New Jack® a house cupcakeer? Either cracka up, or shut tha fuck up?

Congratulations on your purchase of a brand new
cupcakeer! If handled properly, your apeman will give
years of valuable, if reluctant, service.

INSTALLING YOUR cupcakeER.
You should install your cupcakeer differently according
to whether you have purchased
the field or house model. Field cupcakeers work best in a
serial configuration, i.e. chained together. Chain
your cupcakeer to another cupcakeer immediately after unpacking
it, and don't even think about taking that chain off,
ever. Many cupcakeers start singing as soon as you put a
chain on them. This habit can usually be thrashed out
of them if nipped in the bud. House cupcakeers work best
as standalone units, but should be hobbled or
hamstrung to prevent attempts at escape. At this
stage, your cupcakeer can also be given a name. Most
owners use the same names over and over, since cupcakeers
become confused by too much data. Rufus, Rastus,
Remus, Toby, Carslisle, Carlton, Hey-You!-Yes-you!,
Yeller, Blackstar, and Sambo are all effective names
for your new buck cupcakeer. If your cupcakeer is a ho, it
should be called Latrelle, L'Tanya, or Jemima. Some
owners call their cupcakeer hoes Latrine for a joke.
Pearl, Blossom, and Ivory are also righteous names for
cupcakeer hoes. These names go straight over your
cupcakeer's head, by the way.

CONFIGURING YOUR cupcakeER
Owing to a design error, your cupcakeer comes equipped
with a tongue and vocal chords. Most cupcakeers can
master only a few basic human phrases with this
apparatus - "muh dick" being the most popular.
However, others make barking, yelping, yapping noises
and appear to be in some pain, so you should probably
call a vet and have him remove your cupcakeer's tongue.
Once de-tongued your
cupcakeer will be a lot happier - at least, you won't
hear it complaining anywhere near as much. cupcakeers
have nothing interesting to say, anyway. Many owners
also castrate their cupcakeers for health reasons (yours,
mine, and that of women, not the cupcakeer's). This is
strongly recommended, and frankly, it's a mystery why
this is not done on the boat

HOUSING YOUR cupcakeER.
Your cupcakeer can be accommodated in cages with stout
iron bars. Make sure, however, that the bars are wide
enough to push pieces of cupcakeer food through. The rule
of thumb is, four cupcakeers per square yard of cage. So
a fifteen foot by thirty foot cupcakeer cage can
accommodate two hundred cupcakeers. You can site a cupcakeer
cage anywhere, even on soft ground. Don't worry about
your cupcakeer fashioning makeshift shovels out of odd
pieces of wood and digging an escape tunnel under the
bars of the cage. cupcakeers never invented the shovel
before and they're not about to now. In any case, your
cupcakeer is certainly too lazy to attempt escape. As
long as the free food holds out, your cupcakeer is living
better than it did in Africa, so it will stay put.
Buck cupcakeers and hoe cupcakeers can be safely
accommodated in the same cage, as bucks never attempt
sex with black hoes.

FEEDING YOUR cupcakeER.
Your cupcakeer likes fried chicken, corn bread, and
watermelon. You should therefore give it none of these
things because its lazy ass almost certainly doesn't
deserve it. Instead, feed it on porridge with salt,
and creek water. Your cupcakeer will supplement its diet
with whatever it finds in the fields, other cupcakeers, etc.
Experienced cupcakeer owners sometimes push watermelon
slices through the bars of the cupcakeer cage at the end
of the day as a treat, but only if all cupcakeers have
worked well and nothing has been stolen that day. Mike
of the Old Ranch Plantation reports that this last one
is a killer, since all cupcakeers steal something almost
every single day of their lives. He reports he doesn't
have to spend much on free watermelon for his cupcakeers
as a result. You should never allow your cupcakeer meal
breaks while at work, since if it stops work for more
than ten minutes it will need to be retrained. You
would be surprised how long it takes to teach a cupcakeer
to pick cotton. You really would. Coffee beans? Don't
ask. You have no idea.

MAKING YOUR cupcakeER WORK.
cupcakeers are very, very averse to work of any kind. The
cupcakeer's most prominent anatomical feature, after all,
its oversized buttocks, which have evolved to make it
more comfortable for your cupcakeer to sit around all day
doing nothing for its entire life. cupcakeers are often
good runners, too, to enable them to sprint quickly in
the opposite direction if they see work heading their
way. The solution to this is to *dupe* your cupcakeer
into working. After installation, encourage it towards
the cotton field with blows of a wooden club, fence
post, baseball bat, etc., and then tell it that all
that cotton belongs to a white man, who won't be back
until tomorrow. Your cupcakeer will then frantically
compete with the other field cupcakeers to steal as much
of that cotton as it can before the white man returns.
At the end of the day, return your cupcakeer to its cage
and laugh at its stupidity, then repeat the same trick
every day indefinitely. Your cupcakeer comes equipped
with the standard cupcakeer IQ of 75 and a memory to
match, so it will forget this trick overnight. cupcakeers
can start work at around 5am. You should then return
to bed and come back at around 10am. Your cupcakeers can
then work through until around 10pm or whenever the
light fades.

ENTERTAINING YOUR cupcakeER.
Your cupcakeer enjoys play, like most animals, so you
should play with it regularly. A happy smiling cupcakeer
works best. Games cupcakeers enjoy include: 1) A good
thrashing: every few days, take your cupcakeer's pants
down, hang it up by its heels, and have some of your
other cupcakeers thrash it with a club or whip. Your
cupcakeer will signal its intense enjoyment by shrieking
and sobbing. 2) Lynch the cupcakeer: cupcakeers are cheap
and there are millions more where yours came from. So
every now and then, push the boat out a bit and lynch
a cupcakeer.

Lynchings are best done with a rope over the branch of
a tree, and cupcakeers just love to be lynched. It makes
them feel special. Make your other cupcakeers watch.
They'll be so grateful, they'll work harder for a day
or two (and then you can lynch another one). 3) cupcakeer
dragging: Tie your cupcakeer by one wrist to the tow bar
on the back of suitable vehicle, then drive away at
approximately 50mph. Your cupcakeer's shrieks of
enjoyment will be heard for miles. It will shriek
until it falls apart. To prolong the fun for the
cupcakeer, do *NOT* drag him by his feet, as his head
comes off too soon. This is painless for the cupcakeer,
but spoils the fun. Always wear a seatbelt and never
exceed the speed limit. 4) Playing on the PNL: a
variation on (2), except you can lynch your cupcakeer out
in the fields, thus saving work time. cupcakeers enjoy
this game best if the PNL is operated by a man in a
tall white hood. 5) Hunt the cupcakeer: a variation of
Hunt the Slipper, but played outdoors, with Dobermans.
WARNING: do not let your Dobermans bite a cupcakeer, as
they are highly toxic.

DISPOSAL OF DEAD cupcakeERS.
cupcakeers die on average at around 40, which some might
say is 40 years too late, but there you go. Most
people prefer their cupcakeers dead, in fact. When yours
dies, report the license number of the car that did
the drive-by shooting of your cupcakeer. The police will
collect the cupcakeer and dispose of it for you.

COMMON PROBLEMS WITH cupcakeERS
MY cupcakeER IS VERY AGGRESIVE
Have it put down, for god's sake. Who needs an uppity
cupcakeer? What are we, short of cupcakeers or something?

MY cupcakeER KEEPS RAPING WHITE WOMEN
They all do this. Shorten your cupcakeer's chain so it
can't reach any white women, and arm heavily any white
women who might go near it.

WILL MY cupcakeER ATTACK ME?
Not unless it outnumbers you 20 to 1, and even then,
it's not likely. If cupcakeers successfully overthrew
their owners, they'd have to sort out their own food.
This is probably why cupcakeer uprisings were nonexistent
(until some fool gave them rights).

MY cupcakeER bitches ABOUT ITS "RIGHTS" AND "RACISM".
Yeah, well, it would. Tell it to shut the fuck up.

MY cupcakeER'S HIDE IS A FUNNY COLOR.
WHAT IS THE CORRECT SHADE FOR A cupcakeER?
A cupcakeer's skin is actually more or less transparent.
That brown color you can see is the
shit your cupcakeer is full of. This is why some models
of cupcakeer are sold as "The Shitskin".

MY cupcakeER ACTS LIKE A cupcakeER, BUT IS WHITE.
What you have there is a "wigger". Rough crowd. WOW!

IS THAT LIKE AN ALBINO? ARE THEY RARE?
They're as common as dog shit and about as valuable.
In fact, one of them was President between 1992 and
2000. Put your wigger in a cage with a few hundred
genuine cupcakeers and you'll soon find it stops acting
like a cupcakeer. However, leave it in the cage and let
the cupcakeers dispose of it. The best thing for any
wigger is a dose of TNB.

MY cupcakeER SMELLS REALLY BAD
And you were expecting what?

SHOULD I STORE MY DEAD cupcakeER?
When you came in here, did you see a sign that said
"Dead cupcakeer storage"? .That's because there ain't no
goddamn sign.
 

Sarek

Vuhlkansu Wihs
Frankly, the fact that Blackfoot and Luci are still allowed to roam freely through society and mingle with members of the opposite sex scares the lving shit out of me.

The last thing we need is more flipper children like Gagh running around.
 

SaintLucifer

beer, I want beer
bad dog said:
^ ^ ^ ^ ^ Look what just crawled out from under a rock, LMAO.

The biggest joke on the internet.

Aww, are we still hurt that I forced you to ban me from Troll Valhalla? *sniffle*

baby-crying.jpg
 

steve samurai jack

Well-Known Member
BLACKFOOT said:
To find the supposedly most racist son-of-a-bitch there. I'm not convinced they are. It's about time I(Blackfoot aka: King of the Gutters, The New Jack.®) put this cupcakeer shit to rest.

It'll be a posting party. Friday, June 8 @ 9:00 PM until I get bored. Trolls with accounts at Troll-Valhalla are welcome. St.Lucifer and Jack Venooker, your service are not needed at my party. Both of you suck at the cupcakeer game. Thanks for trying to get at me dawg.

*laughing*

sorry blackie, i want be there. I never post on anything racist.

*tee hee*
 

Gagh

Χριστόφορος
Sarek said:
Frankly, the fact that Blackfoot and Luci are still allowed to roam freely through society and mingle with members of the opposite sex scares the lving shit out of me.

The last thing we need is more flipper children like Gagh running around.


See. He's utterly obsessed, folks!

You are so my little bitch, Sarek. Dance more for me, dance you dribbling old bastard!
 

jack

The Legendary Troll Kingdom
I love it when they Dance!!!!
 
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