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Blair's farewell speech in full

CaptainWacky

CaptainWacky

I want to smell dark matter
"Thank you. I have called you all today to announce that I...WILL NOT BE RESIGNING, EVER! THAT'S RIGHT, BISCHOFF! YOU TRIED TO PUT ME OUT OF BUSINESS!? I'll put YOU out of COMMISSION! COMMISSIONER WILLIAM REGAL THAT IS, EH CHAPS! Wot wot! Tea and crumpets! BANG BANG! FIRE ME, I'M ALREADY FIRED! WHOOOOO! I'M GOING TO WIN THE ROYAL RUMBLE BECAUSE I AM BIZARRE! Cane Dewey? CANE DEWEY! You make me sick, man of integrity, I OUGHTA SLAP YOU! A year ago the Rock was kicking roody poo candyass here while you were down south fighting a jabroni named JUVENTOOD!? WAH WAH! BILLIE JEAN WAS NOT MY LOVER! Jon Tickle! YOU'RE GOING DOWN, YOU'RE GOING DOWN, YOU'RE GOING DOWN! There's NO CHANCE IN HELL that I'll be eating a big pizza off Gordon Brown's back tonight, I guaran-damn-tee it! How dare you little jabroni come on THE ROCK'S show and not even have the class to introduce yourself, what is your name? IT MATTERS NOT WHEN THINE NAME IS! VERILY IT IS SOO! HROOM HROOM! MUCH TOO HASTY! Gordon Brown, you fat scottish pill-popper, I'm gonig to take Ricky Gervais' huge ego, that's right, shine it up real nice, turn that sumbitch sideways and stick it straight up your monkey ass! And that's the bottom line, because Anna Paquin said so! BANG BANG! And if you ain't down with that I've got two words FER YOU: HENOCH'S RETURN!"
 
Jon Tickle should make a good replacement while Gordon Brown's arse recovers in hospital.
 
That wasn't even the real speech!
 
I was hoping this was going to be Blair's parting speech on the series finale episode of "The Facts of Life." :(
 
No.
 
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THIS CAME UP IN A GOOGLE IMAGE SEARCH FOR LISA WELCHEL. I DON'T KNOW WHY.
 
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NATALIE ATE MRS. GARRETT!
 
WTF
 
CaptainWacky said:
"Thank you. I have called you all today to announce that I...WILL NOT BE RESIGNING, EVER! THAT'S RIGHT, BISCHOFF! YOU TRIED TO PUT ME OUT OF BUSINESS!? I'll put YOU out of COMMISSION! COMMISSIONER WILLIAM REGAL THAT IS, EH CHAPS! Wot wot! Tea and crumpets! BANG BANG! FIRE ME, I'M ALREADY FIRED! WHOOOOO! I'M GOING TO WIN THE ROYAL RUMBLE BECAUSE I AM BIZARRE! Cane Dewey? CANE DEWEY! You make me sick, man of integrity, I OUGHTA SLAP YOU! A year ago the Rock was kicking roody poo candyass here while you were down south fighting a jabroni named JUVENTOOD!? WAH WAH! BILLIE JEAN WAS NOT MY LOVER! Jon Tickle! YOU'RE GOING DOWN, YOU'RE GOING DOWN, YOU'RE GOING DOWN! There's NO CHANCE IN HELL that I'll be eating a big pizza off Gordon Brown's back tonight, I guaran-damn-tee it! How dare you little jabroni come on THE ROCK'S show and not even have the class to introduce yourself, what is your name? IT MATTERS NOT WHEN THINE NAME IS! VERILY IT IS SOO! HROOM HROOM! MUCH TOO HASTY! Gordon Brown, you fat scottish pill-popper, I'm gonig to take Ricky Gervais' huge ego, that's right, shine it up real nice, turn that sumbitch sideways and stick it straight up your monkey ass! And that's the bottom line, because Anna Paquin said so! BANG BANG! And if you ain't down with that I've got two words FER YOU: HENOCH'S RETURN!"
Click to expand...

Damn. I wish. I would have found Blair amusing for the first time in my life!
 
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