CAMERON THREW DAUGHTER IN A RIVER

[CaptainWacky]

"I FORGOT SHE COULD FEEL PAIN," HE FEEBLY EXPLAINED, CRACKING WALLNUTS WITH HIS BARE HANDS.

 

[Fuddlemiff]

But why? Why would someone do that? Why? Why would he do that? Why? Why? Why? Really, why? Why? Why?

 

[Gagh]

Here is The Daily Mash's take.

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news-...forgotten-in-pub-for-15-minutes-2012061129991

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/polit...-right-for-britain-says-cameron-2012061130024

 

[Fuddlemiff]

It's a wonder he was able to lose track of any of his kids when they have such a distinctive look about them.

(It's probably because they're all clones of Thatcher)

 

[Gagh]

If you were wise enough to follow those links, bookmark The Daily Mash, as it is actually funnier than Private Eye.

 

[CaptainWacky]

CAMERON WANTS GORDON BROWN'S OTHER EYE REMOVED, LEAVING HIM BLIND FOREVER?

 

[Cassie]

There was actually an article in my local paper about Cameron and his kid!

 

[CaptainWacky]

GOOD, SPREAD THE WORD, MAYBE WE CAN KEEP THIS BASTARD DOWN, SURE IT'S FINE IF HE KILLS HIS OWN KIDS BUT WHAT IF HE MOVES ON TO MINE, I'LL KILL HIM BEFORE I LET THAT HAPPEN.

 

[Gagh]

CAMERON KILLED A PONY TODAY, JUST BY LOOKING AT IT.

 

[Dr Dave]

I think we all know the answer to this, but I'll ask anyway.

Who'd win in a fight Cameron or Chuck Norris?

I say it would be Chuck Norris.

 

[CaptainWacky]

CAMERON WOULD SEND NICK CLEGG AND CLEGG WOULD SAY "LET'S HUG IT OUT!" AND CHUCK NORRIS WOULD SAY "I'LL KICK YOU SO HARD YOU'LL DO A HEADSTAND LIKE JEFF JARRETT AT SURVIVOR SERIES '94, REMEBMER THAT?"

 

[Dr Dave]

Then he's tell you about the total gym (or whatever the home gym equipment he's in an infomercial for).