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I don't think there's such a thing as "automatic update". The CP notifies you when the phpBB needs updating but you still have to do it by hand with a patch file from phpBB.com.
It could just be that since you're missing the 404 file, maybe you just need to "freshen" the current version to restore missing files? But honestly, who the hell knows LOL.
Let me know when you get FTP access to the folders. One thing I just thought of: maybe someone else started an upgrade and didn't finish, and/or left the install folder in the forum folder, which would block the forum from view.
don't I have FTP access already? I DONT' KNOW. I have access to a thing that says FTP accounts, but I don't have an FTP client, which I guess you need if you're installing the update files, RIGHT? argh.
Yeah, this aspect of running a board is really for code-geeks (and I don't mean that as an insult to techies -- I bow before coding gurus for their ability to see Mozart is 1s and 0s). It takes an immense amount of focus & concentration for amateurs like me.
You need to block out half a day to just sit in front of it without distraction, because 1) you still don't know what the root cause is, and 2) errors and detours and confusions will always pop up along the way.
Or, convince someone with experience to do it and hand them the passwords. I wish I was that person, but I'm not that much more of an expert than you, LOL.
I was totally planning to give you the passwords and get you to look, lol! But, yeah... it's a big pain in the buttocks. I wonder if Hambil would look at it for me someday. I should ask him, the worst he can do is say no, right? RIGHT?