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Chainsaws

This is not yard work.
Its fucking clean up after a storm.
Its fucking, clear me a path so I can get to your house.
Its, get these trees out of my backyard so I can see the flowers
Its
yeah its pretty much yard work
but its like the manly version of yardwork
where the fuck are you from dude?
 
mmmh, chainsaws!
I can't stand the sounds of yard work.
I'm pretty sure it's a girls thing... then again, I can get off from the sound of a katyusha, so what do I know?
 
When I was in Oregon we had a house that backed right up to undeveloped forestland. It was our own little woods, complete with all manner of wildlife and the occasional bear. They liked the blackberries. One day, some guys showed up in the woods and started spraypainting all the trees. Big orange slashes. All of them. Then the Mexicans showed up, with chainsaws. They cut and hacked and sawed and butchered, and by the time they were done our woods no longer existed. Shortly after that, our landlord died and his son sold our home to the same company for a tidy profit, summarily evicting us.

That is why I do not like the sound of chainsaws...
 
We wanted to in the worst way. The event was so traumatizing to the assorted members of the household that it became a family meme. To this day, whenever anything is needlessly or deliberately destroyed or horribly ruined, it is referred to as "'mexicans with chainsaws'."

Cue fake El to accuse me of racism in 3...2...1...
 
Well now you just make me cry, all those trees, gone, destroyed.

Weird thing is, through the magic of google earth I was looking at old places I used to live because I have become convinced the aliens or God or the government are trying to erase my existence. The forest has been eaten by some sort of factory (DAMN YOU SARUMAN) and my old home is completely gone, but the lot sits vacant and one can still see the remnants of a gravel circular driveway we spread there 25 years ago. It is the only vestige to prove I existed, and I'm thinking of taking a picture of it in case I vanish.

I taught myself to drive a stickshift on that lot...tore the fucking yard up learning how to engage the gear without making it look like a monkey humping a football.
 
When I was in Oregon we had a house that backed right up to undeveloped forestland. It was our own little woods, complete with all manner of wildlife and the occasional bear. They liked the blackberries. One day, some guys showed up in the woods and started spraypainting all the trees. Big orange slashes. All of them. Then the Mexicans showed up, with chainsaws. They cut and hacked and sawed and butchered, and by the time they were done our woods no longer existed. Shortly after that, our landlord died and his son sold our home to the same company for a tidy profit, summarily evicting us.

That is why I do not like the sound of chainsaws...

We have a little conservationist propaganda song in Aus, we teach it to all aussie kids. Its like in the primary school curriculum or smthin.

[YOUTUBE]HmYLMZ3teFY[/YOUTUBE]

'What am I gonna do - what about the future?
Gotta draw the line without delay
Why shouldn't I get emotional - the bush is sacred
Ancient life will fade away

Over the hill they go, killing another mountain
Gotta fill the quota - can't go slow
Huge machinery wiping out the scenery
One big swipe like a shearer's blow

Rip rip woodchip - turn it into paper
Throw it in the bin, no news today
Nightmare, dreaming - can't you hear the screaming?
Chainsaw, eyesore - more decay '
 
learning how to engage the gear without making it look like a monkey humping a football.
coincidentally, that's exactly the way I feel about... oh, nevermind. Carry on.
 
We have a little conservationist propaganda song in Aus, we teach it to all aussie kids. Its like in the primary school curriculum or smthin.

[YOUTUBE]HmYLMZ3teFY[/YOUTUBE]

'What am I gonna do - what about the future?
Gotta draw the line without delay
Why shouldn't I get emotional - the bush is sacred
Ancient life will fade away

Over the hill they go, killing another mountain
Gotta fill the quota - can't go slow
Huge machinery wiping out the scenery
One big swipe like a shearer's blow

Rip rip woodchip - turn it into paper
Throw it in the bin, no news today
Nightmare, dreaming - can't you hear the screaming?
Chainsaw, eyesore - more decay '
I'm gonna have this stuck in my head all week...
 
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