jack
The Legendary Troll King
Just got directed to this blog (www.jewliscious.com) check it out.
Run your mouth when I’m not around, It’s Easy To Achieve
Posted on 10.26.05 by grandmuffti @ 1:41 pm
It’s good to know that when a local bully holds a conference with the theme of ‘Life without You’, someone will get your back. The Iranians sponsored a cute little conference entitled ‘Life Without Zioinism’, where president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad had the following kind words:
There is no doubt that the new wave [of attacks] in Palestine will wipe off this stigma [Israel] from the face of the Islamic world…Anybody who recognizes Israel will burn in the fire of the Islamic nation’s fury (while) any (Islamic leader) who recognizes the Zionist regime means he is acknowledging “
Muffti always gets a kick out this kind of thing because it reminds him of an old philosophers trick/joke:
A: I don’t recognize the existence of (fill in the blank, say, the fountain of youth).
B: What thing don’t you recognize?
A: The existence of the fountain of youth!
B: Oh, so you are saying that there is a fountain of youth and you don’t recognize it’s existence?
B, of course, has made A look ridiculous since A is both saying that there is something, and that it doesn’t exist. (Muffti doesn’t endorse this style of argument, of course, at least not as stated).
Well, that’s a little disenheartening. Luckily, someone (rather unlikely) has got Israeli’s back. It’s the French, who have given us great cheese, the Magineau line, a popularization of existentialism, Victor Hugo and so much more! French Foreign Ministry spokesman Jean-Baptiste Mattei said:
We have noted these press articles reporting the comments of President Ahmadinejad. If these comments were indeed made, we condemn them with the utmost firmness.
What a revealing comment! We learn a great deal:
a. The French read the paper.
b. The French don’t entirely trust the press.
c. The French condemn calls to wipe Israel off the map.
Muffti appreciates the gesture. And he hereby calls on his sisters and brothers in Jewlicious to affirm the following:
If we get an honest press report from anyone claiming that France should be wiped off the map, we hereby pledge to condemn that claim with the utmost firmness!
For more see: Jpost and Ha’aretz. For more feel-good quotes from President Ahmadinejad’s speech, seeAl Jazeera.
Filed under: Jewlicious
Comments: None
It Swells a Vein that the Only Things… That are keeping me awake, Are Reruns of The Mod Squad and Cartoons
Posted on 10.24.05 by grandmuffti @ 10:47 pm
Sometimes philosophers of a certain bent worry about puzzles such as the following. Take an object, say, a ship. Now replace one board on the ship with a different board. Same ship, right? Altering one tiny bit of the object never seems to destroy the object and bring a new one into existence. However, keep that up and eventually you will have an object that isn’t a ship in any way and has no parts in common with the object you started with. Intuitively, in other words, from a series of small steps, none of which destroyed the object, a new one has popped into existence.
Whatever you think of this puzzle’s merits, a similar question can be asked about the latest ‘import American culture but do it carefully’ phenomenon: Al Shamsoons. The show centres around the exploits of a buffoonish, overweight, SODA guzzling, Egytpian Sausage (no bacon) eating, kahk munching (ahem) fellow named Omar Al Shamsoon. Omar has a son, Badr, a mischevious li’l scamp who manifestly does not watch any show about a Jewish Clown. The Shamsoon family, furthermore, do not speak to Reverend Lovejoy and Omar never, ever goes to any bar owned by a skeevy felllow named Moe.
Muffti hasn’t seen the show but it seems to be loosely modelled on a famous American cartoon known as the Simpsons. This leaves some questions open. On a metaphysical level, we can ask if it is the same show. On an epistemological level, we can ask how we could possibly know that it was the same show given all the mutilations. On a moral level, we can ask why anyone would be evil enough to rob the original of everything that made it funny. Finally, on an aesthetic level, we can ask whether the show manages to retain any of the charms of the original. Finally, on a practical level, Muffti really, really wants to know: how does the show last more than 4 minutes since most of the original takes place in Moes?!?
Apparently it doesn’t. Muffti will post a script of the show as soon as he can get his hands on one. Unfortunately, it seems that the idea is the funniest thing about the idea. It all reminds Muffti a but of a Simpsons episode where Krusty the clown has to substitute for Itchy and Scratchy:
â€Well now that Itchy & Scratchy are on the Gabbo Show, here’s Eastern Europe’s favourite cat and mouse team Worker and Parasite!â€
Pardon Muffti for a while. He has to go laugh his ass off.
See Jpost.
Filed under: Jewlicious
Comments: 1 Comment
Everything is Illuminated Contest Winners
Posted on 10.24.05 by ck @ 4:51 pm
Illuminate Me!
We asked you to illuminate us with your most Jewlicious pics and y’all did not disappoint! The prize pacs from the studio just came in today so I feel comfortable announcing the winners! Muffti and I picked them and maybe they are the most Jewlicious pics, maybe they aren’t, I dunno. Muffti may very well have been drunk, but don’t tell him I told you. He gets surly. Anyhow, in no particular order we have this pic of a dude dressed like a Jew, canoodeling with a she-devil. That’s like a microcosm of Jewish history, no?
I loved the effort and particularly the ewlicious coming out of patty’s butt.
Miel just has this look that says “I dare you not to pick me.†Muffti and I had no choice. Winners all get an “Everything is Illuminated Prize Pack, featuring a cute t-shirt, the book by Jonathan Safran Foer, the Soundtrack CD and a travel baggie thing. Winners will be notified by email! As an added bonus for everyone, I added a track from the CD on playalicious - it’s Gogol Bordello singing Start Wearing Purple.
The thing that sucks is that so many of the entries were good. I’ll add a few honorable mentions to this post after Simchat Torah. Thanks O Gracious Movie Studio!
Filed under: Jewlicious and Popalicious
Comments: 18 Comments
Ben Shalom Bernanke - Jewlicious?
Posted on 10.24.05 by themiddle @ 4:47 pm
So Alan Greenspan is leaving the Fed after many years of service. Bush’s nominee to replace Greenspan as the outgoing Chairman of the Federal Reserve Board is Ben S. Bernanke. The S. stands for Shalom. My meager Googling skills did not turn up any information relating to Mr. Bernanke’s religion, but I figure with a middle name like Shalom, he’s either Jewlicious or gets an honorary Jewlicious title.
Ben Shalom Bernanke, the son of a pharmacist in Dillon, S.C., displayed his significant intellectual capacity early in life. He won the state spelling bee in the sixth grade, taught himself calculus in high school, and earned the highest college admission test scores in South Carolina in the year that he applied to college.
He also graduated summa cum laude from Harvard University in 1975 and earned his Ph.D. from M.I.T.
You can read more about the appointment and its apparently positive reception in the marketplace at the NY Times. He is a former Princeton professor and Fed Board member.
Mr. Bernanke responded to those concerns in a speech in October 2003, when he said any inflation target be considered a long-term goal and that the Fed would not set a “fixed time frame for reaching it.†He also acknowledged the political concerns an official inflation target would raise and said they could be allayed with deftly worded provisions that preserved the Fed’s flexibility.
“We would have the explicit proviso that important short-run economic and financial goals will not be sacrificed in order to reach the long-term inflation objective more quickly,†he said in that speech at the Federal Reserve Bank of St. Louis. “Although it would be important to vet these ideas thoroughly with the relevant Congressional committees before proceeding, I am hopeful that a change of the type I am proposing would be acceptable to Congress as being within the spirit of existing legislation.â€
His remarks were delivered at a time when the Fed and economists were increasingly concerned about the prospects of deflation, a rare falling of prices. Mr. Bernanke’s early academic work focused on the causes of the Great Depression, one of the starkest examples of deflation in economic history.
I also wouldn’t be too surprised if the white supremacist twin girls (Prussian Blue) will shortly add a song about Jewish bankers to their repertoire.
Filed under: Jewlicious and Popalicious
Comments: 30 Comments
Hip Hop Hoodios et Mangu
Posted on 10.24.05 by ck @ 3:28 pm
Freestyle latino-yiddish pour démarrer la semaine. Mangu le petit latino rappe ce soir à partir de 20h à la Scène Bastille avec les Hip Hop Hoodios de New-York. You can hear them now! Go to radio nova and click on “Ecouter Radio Nova.†Enjoy the interview - Radio Nova in Paris is probably the coolest radio station in the world and they are famous for butchering the English language, ie “eep op oodios.†Stupid overhyped Jew hipster magazines may not like the Hoodios, but they sure can’t get enough of them in Paree! Pick me up a crépe boys!
Filed under: Uncategorized
Comments: 2 Comments
Jewlicious loves boo… oh, never mind
Posted on 10.24.05 by ck @ 12:29 pm
Natan Schechter, my brother in law, recently got his head shaved as part of Montreal radio station Mix 96’s Shave to Save campaign. The campaign, taking part every October Breast Cancer Awareness month, raised $500,000 last year to benefit the Quebec Breast Cancer Foundation. Natan’s office raised over $2000. Tanya, his wife, is definitely all proud of him but I am sure that Noam, his infant son is a little freaked. In any case, I know I’ll be making a modest donation to fight the good fight because Breast Cancer sucks. We urge you all to do the same! You can find out more about National Breast Cancer Awareness month at nbcam.org and at the American Cancer Society Homepage. Kick in some cash or if you’re a woman over 40, get a mamogram! Do it today. Your boo… breasts are counting on you!
Filed under: Popalicious
Comments: 1 Comment
The New Zionist Revolution.
Posted on 10.24.05 by michael @ 10:21 am
Trust us. She loves her hummus.
The political movement for the establishment and maintenance of a Jewish state has gone through many phases and been subject to many interpretations during its 150 or so years. From the Ohavei Tziyon, the Biluites and the World Zionist Congress of the late 1800s to the warring schools of Labor and Revisionist Zionism in the years leading up to the establishment of Israel to the gun-toting religious Zionist hippies of our present day, various groups have claimed to represent the true spirit of the Zionist movement.
Well. Nobody talks about the Ohavei Tziyon or Biluites anymore. Labor Zionism gave us the socialist nightmare of Israeli bureaucracy. Revisionist Zionism has been mostly reduced to a football club. And the religious Zionists have been transformed by the disengagement from the self-styled true heralds of the Zionist way to a bunch of petulant crybabies in obnoxious “Lo Nishkach v’Lo Nislach†(We Won’t Forget and We Won’t Forgive) T-shirts. So then, we need to refresh Zionism. And I have movement:
Culinary Zionism.
What is Culinary Zionism, you ask? Simple. You get the Jews here, and you keep ‘em here with the food, which is totally cheap and totally yummy. And good for you. Seriously, where else can you not only get a host of delicious Middle Eastern treats at low, low prices, and also, due to the immigrant nature of Israeli society, just about any ethnic food you can think of? Do you New York hipster dudes have the shuk? Can you smog-choked LAers go to Abu Ghosh and bliss out on hummus-y goodness? I think not. Hummus! Falafel! Fuul! Shakshuka! Olives! A million and one pastries! Salatim! Great fruit! Fresh vegetables! Who could ask for more?
Run your mouth when I’m not around, It’s Easy To Achieve
Posted on 10.26.05 by grandmuffti @ 1:41 pm
It’s good to know that when a local bully holds a conference with the theme of ‘Life without You’, someone will get your back. The Iranians sponsored a cute little conference entitled ‘Life Without Zioinism’, where president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad had the following kind words:
There is no doubt that the new wave [of attacks] in Palestine will wipe off this stigma [Israel] from the face of the Islamic world…Anybody who recognizes Israel will burn in the fire of the Islamic nation’s fury (while) any (Islamic leader) who recognizes the Zionist regime means he is acknowledging “
Muffti always gets a kick out this kind of thing because it reminds him of an old philosophers trick/joke:
A: I don’t recognize the existence of (fill in the blank, say, the fountain of youth).
B: What thing don’t you recognize?
A: The existence of the fountain of youth!
B: Oh, so you are saying that there is a fountain of youth and you don’t recognize it’s existence?
B, of course, has made A look ridiculous since A is both saying that there is something, and that it doesn’t exist. (Muffti doesn’t endorse this style of argument, of course, at least not as stated).
Well, that’s a little disenheartening. Luckily, someone (rather unlikely) has got Israeli’s back. It’s the French, who have given us great cheese, the Magineau line, a popularization of existentialism, Victor Hugo and so much more! French Foreign Ministry spokesman Jean-Baptiste Mattei said:
We have noted these press articles reporting the comments of President Ahmadinejad. If these comments were indeed made, we condemn them with the utmost firmness.
What a revealing comment! We learn a great deal:
a. The French read the paper.
b. The French don’t entirely trust the press.
c. The French condemn calls to wipe Israel off the map.
Muffti appreciates the gesture. And he hereby calls on his sisters and brothers in Jewlicious to affirm the following:
If we get an honest press report from anyone claiming that France should be wiped off the map, we hereby pledge to condemn that claim with the utmost firmness!
For more see: Jpost and Ha’aretz. For more feel-good quotes from President Ahmadinejad’s speech, seeAl Jazeera.
Filed under: Jewlicious
Comments: None
It Swells a Vein that the Only Things… That are keeping me awake, Are Reruns of The Mod Squad and Cartoons
Posted on 10.24.05 by grandmuffti @ 10:47 pm
Sometimes philosophers of a certain bent worry about puzzles such as the following. Take an object, say, a ship. Now replace one board on the ship with a different board. Same ship, right? Altering one tiny bit of the object never seems to destroy the object and bring a new one into existence. However, keep that up and eventually you will have an object that isn’t a ship in any way and has no parts in common with the object you started with. Intuitively, in other words, from a series of small steps, none of which destroyed the object, a new one has popped into existence.
Whatever you think of this puzzle’s merits, a similar question can be asked about the latest ‘import American culture but do it carefully’ phenomenon: Al Shamsoons. The show centres around the exploits of a buffoonish, overweight, SODA guzzling, Egytpian Sausage (no bacon) eating, kahk munching (ahem) fellow named Omar Al Shamsoon. Omar has a son, Badr, a mischevious li’l scamp who manifestly does not watch any show about a Jewish Clown. The Shamsoon family, furthermore, do not speak to Reverend Lovejoy and Omar never, ever goes to any bar owned by a skeevy felllow named Moe.
Muffti hasn’t seen the show but it seems to be loosely modelled on a famous American cartoon known as the Simpsons. This leaves some questions open. On a metaphysical level, we can ask if it is the same show. On an epistemological level, we can ask how we could possibly know that it was the same show given all the mutilations. On a moral level, we can ask why anyone would be evil enough to rob the original of everything that made it funny. Finally, on an aesthetic level, we can ask whether the show manages to retain any of the charms of the original. Finally, on a practical level, Muffti really, really wants to know: how does the show last more than 4 minutes since most of the original takes place in Moes?!?
Apparently it doesn’t. Muffti will post a script of the show as soon as he can get his hands on one. Unfortunately, it seems that the idea is the funniest thing about the idea. It all reminds Muffti a but of a Simpsons episode where Krusty the clown has to substitute for Itchy and Scratchy:
â€Well now that Itchy & Scratchy are on the Gabbo Show, here’s Eastern Europe’s favourite cat and mouse team Worker and Parasite!â€
Pardon Muffti for a while. He has to go laugh his ass off.
See Jpost.
Filed under: Jewlicious
Comments: 1 Comment
Everything is Illuminated Contest Winners
Posted on 10.24.05 by ck @ 4:51 pm
Illuminate Me!
We asked you to illuminate us with your most Jewlicious pics and y’all did not disappoint! The prize pacs from the studio just came in today so I feel comfortable announcing the winners! Muffti and I picked them and maybe they are the most Jewlicious pics, maybe they aren’t, I dunno. Muffti may very well have been drunk, but don’t tell him I told you. He gets surly. Anyhow, in no particular order we have this pic of a dude dressed like a Jew, canoodeling with a she-devil. That’s like a microcosm of Jewish history, no?
I loved the effort and particularly the ewlicious coming out of patty’s butt.
Miel just has this look that says “I dare you not to pick me.†Muffti and I had no choice. Winners all get an “Everything is Illuminated Prize Pack, featuring a cute t-shirt, the book by Jonathan Safran Foer, the Soundtrack CD and a travel baggie thing. Winners will be notified by email! As an added bonus for everyone, I added a track from the CD on playalicious - it’s Gogol Bordello singing Start Wearing Purple.
The thing that sucks is that so many of the entries were good. I’ll add a few honorable mentions to this post after Simchat Torah. Thanks O Gracious Movie Studio!
Filed under: Jewlicious and Popalicious
Comments: 18 Comments
Ben Shalom Bernanke - Jewlicious?
Posted on 10.24.05 by themiddle @ 4:47 pm
So Alan Greenspan is leaving the Fed after many years of service. Bush’s nominee to replace Greenspan as the outgoing Chairman of the Federal Reserve Board is Ben S. Bernanke. The S. stands for Shalom. My meager Googling skills did not turn up any information relating to Mr. Bernanke’s religion, but I figure with a middle name like Shalom, he’s either Jewlicious or gets an honorary Jewlicious title.
Ben Shalom Bernanke, the son of a pharmacist in Dillon, S.C., displayed his significant intellectual capacity early in life. He won the state spelling bee in the sixth grade, taught himself calculus in high school, and earned the highest college admission test scores in South Carolina in the year that he applied to college.
He also graduated summa cum laude from Harvard University in 1975 and earned his Ph.D. from M.I.T.
You can read more about the appointment and its apparently positive reception in the marketplace at the NY Times. He is a former Princeton professor and Fed Board member.
Mr. Bernanke responded to those concerns in a speech in October 2003, when he said any inflation target be considered a long-term goal and that the Fed would not set a “fixed time frame for reaching it.†He also acknowledged the political concerns an official inflation target would raise and said they could be allayed with deftly worded provisions that preserved the Fed’s flexibility.
“We would have the explicit proviso that important short-run economic and financial goals will not be sacrificed in order to reach the long-term inflation objective more quickly,†he said in that speech at the Federal Reserve Bank of St. Louis. “Although it would be important to vet these ideas thoroughly with the relevant Congressional committees before proceeding, I am hopeful that a change of the type I am proposing would be acceptable to Congress as being within the spirit of existing legislation.â€
His remarks were delivered at a time when the Fed and economists were increasingly concerned about the prospects of deflation, a rare falling of prices. Mr. Bernanke’s early academic work focused on the causes of the Great Depression, one of the starkest examples of deflation in economic history.
I also wouldn’t be too surprised if the white supremacist twin girls (Prussian Blue) will shortly add a song about Jewish bankers to their repertoire.
Filed under: Jewlicious and Popalicious
Comments: 30 Comments
Hip Hop Hoodios et Mangu
Posted on 10.24.05 by ck @ 3:28 pm
Freestyle latino-yiddish pour démarrer la semaine. Mangu le petit latino rappe ce soir à partir de 20h à la Scène Bastille avec les Hip Hop Hoodios de New-York. You can hear them now! Go to radio nova and click on “Ecouter Radio Nova.†Enjoy the interview - Radio Nova in Paris is probably the coolest radio station in the world and they are famous for butchering the English language, ie “eep op oodios.†Stupid overhyped Jew hipster magazines may not like the Hoodios, but they sure can’t get enough of them in Paree! Pick me up a crépe boys!
Filed under: Uncategorized
Comments: 2 Comments
Jewlicious loves boo… oh, never mind
Posted on 10.24.05 by ck @ 12:29 pm
Natan Schechter, my brother in law, recently got his head shaved as part of Montreal radio station Mix 96’s Shave to Save campaign. The campaign, taking part every October Breast Cancer Awareness month, raised $500,000 last year to benefit the Quebec Breast Cancer Foundation. Natan’s office raised over $2000. Tanya, his wife, is definitely all proud of him but I am sure that Noam, his infant son is a little freaked. In any case, I know I’ll be making a modest donation to fight the good fight because Breast Cancer sucks. We urge you all to do the same! You can find out more about National Breast Cancer Awareness month at nbcam.org and at the American Cancer Society Homepage. Kick in some cash or if you’re a woman over 40, get a mamogram! Do it today. Your boo… breasts are counting on you!
Filed under: Popalicious
Comments: 1 Comment
The New Zionist Revolution.
Posted on 10.24.05 by michael @ 10:21 am
Trust us. She loves her hummus.
The political movement for the establishment and maintenance of a Jewish state has gone through many phases and been subject to many interpretations during its 150 or so years. From the Ohavei Tziyon, the Biluites and the World Zionist Congress of the late 1800s to the warring schools of Labor and Revisionist Zionism in the years leading up to the establishment of Israel to the gun-toting religious Zionist hippies of our present day, various groups have claimed to represent the true spirit of the Zionist movement.
Well. Nobody talks about the Ohavei Tziyon or Biluites anymore. Labor Zionism gave us the socialist nightmare of Israeli bureaucracy. Revisionist Zionism has been mostly reduced to a football club. And the religious Zionists have been transformed by the disengagement from the self-styled true heralds of the Zionist way to a bunch of petulant crybabies in obnoxious “Lo Nishkach v’Lo Nislach†(We Won’t Forget and We Won’t Forgive) T-shirts. So then, we need to refresh Zionism. And I have movement:
Culinary Zionism.
What is Culinary Zionism, you ask? Simple. You get the Jews here, and you keep ‘em here with the food, which is totally cheap and totally yummy. And good for you. Seriously, where else can you not only get a host of delicious Middle Eastern treats at low, low prices, and also, due to the immigrant nature of Israeli society, just about any ethnic food you can think of? Do you New York hipster dudes have the shuk? Can you smog-choked LAers go to Abu Ghosh and bliss out on hummus-y goodness? I think not. Hummus! Falafel! Fuul! Shakshuka! Olives! A million and one pastries! Salatim! Great fruit! Fresh vegetables! Who could ask for more?
