Dear France

[starguard]

Joan Fox of New Orleans writes:

Dear France,

Greetings from Louisiana! We are shopping for new owners, and we immediately thought of you! Our present rulers haven't been taking very good care of us and we are looking for a better deal. They are spending all our money in a place called Iraq (somewhere in the Middle East). We thought that perhaps you might want to revisit an old land deal you made long ago.If you've been reading the papers lately, you may have noticed that we have had a few problems with "water". No, we're not offering you a deal on a damaged water park. (Althouugh that's what it looks like from the air) Seriously, we need help, and fast.

Some things you might like here:

1. We named the state after your King Louis2. We named the city after your city, Orleans3. We have lots of French names on the streets4. We still have Napoleonic law (maybe you can explain it to us!)5. A lot of our citizens speak French (the accent will grow on you)6. We like French food and wineWhat we can offer you:1. a toehold (rather wet!) on the continent2. an incredible port3. Lots of oil and gas4. Lots of restaurants5. Jazz6. Mardi Gras (you won't believe what we do with this!)7. Some of the most beautifu houses in the world (very, very wet)

What we need from you is simple:

1. Wetland redevelopment2. New levees3. Lots of new houses (but we want them to look old like the ones we lost)4. We need schools and hospitals rebuilt5. If you insist, we wouldn't mind some more outdoor cafes like you folks are famous for.

Please think this over carefully. Our current owners are so busy in other countries, they might not even notice if you come down here and take a look around. We'll put you up in grand style in a place we call "The French Quarter" (yeah, really!) and you can have lunch at a place we built for your very own Napoleon, which we call (you guessed it!)Napoleons". You'll be right at home.Oh, just remember, we would like the levees and the wetlands taken care of ASAP, sometime just after lunch if not sooner.

Yours sincerely,A homeowner in New OlreansJoan Fox

 

[Mentalist]

It's not funny. It was supposed to be funny, right?

 

[Sarek]

I think an edit here, a few spaces there might have helped. But then again, it is about the French.

 

[jack]

No, it was like a flourless chocolate cake, only humorless.

 

[Laker_Girl]

I think Ms. Fox should just go ahead and move to France, she truly belongs there.

 

[Red Whacker]

Kind of like Dubya in Iraq.

 

[The Question]

^^Or you... here. Lowest face on a totem pole three faces deep into the septic tank of the American Experience.

 

[headspace]

Oh great, another board where it's considered funny to knock the French.

We encouraged a french guy to stay on the board, Once we saw that maybe, just maybe his nation was not homogenous and did not have EXACTLY the same views as his government, then the French bashing was shown to be lame.

It's a little like bashing Americans, there is so much to go at, it's kind of lame unless you get very specific.

 

[The Question]

^^If you're looking for high-class posting, you might try www.stickupyourass.net. This is www.[i]trollkingdom.[/i]net. You fuckin' dolt, what did you expect here?

 

[headspace]

Maybe humour? or the ability to laugh at oneself?

 

[theRanter]

I didn't read it. I started to, it was just so damned long.

 

[The Question]

Maybe humour? or the ability to laugh at oneself?

We don't allow humowr here. We's gots deh funneh. A-hyuk.

 

[Blindgroping]

And, we do laugh at oneself. (Oneselves?)
And the one we all agreed on was you.

 

[TJHairball]

Oooh.

Another point, I believe the original sale price was about 4 cents an acre. It's a good deal here even if you pass W a full refund of the original sale price.