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But I do remember hanging around with a couple for most of the important events that happened in my life and the history of the republic, still didnt own one so I'm not lying, from a certain point of view.
there's that one bit where he's in the desert and he's all, R2, make me that sandwitch that I like, you know when we used to fly together but no one notices cause luke's extended family just died.
You're forgetting the deleted scene where Obi Wan kisses R2 D2 because when Lucas wrote Episode IV (or just "The Star Wars" as it was when known) all droids were originally supposed to be sex toys for old men.
This is why Tarkin kept Vader around (becuase he's part droid you see).
3PO was probbaly just translating wrong, so instead of saying, "I used to belong to Lukes dad, but I spent a lot of time hanging around with general Kenobi before goldenrod got his memory wiped", became "He says he is teh property of obi wan"