..Where this guy right, went to the shop and there was this other guy and he said to the first guy, "would you like something?" and the guy replied "yes, I would like a twelve boxes of matches please" and the guy after the first guy said, "Really? well you're in luck good fellow, because I have some matches and they are ten pence a piece"
The first guy to that particular answer replied "I'll take em!"
And the guy who came after the first guy who we have allready met and who has spoken on more than one occasion thus far said "right, that'll be one pound and twenty pence, please," "no problem" said the first man.
The guy who had just bought twelve packs of matches then went outside of the shop and he saw there in the street a woman with long flowing blonde hair and a favourable behind. "good lady, good lady!" the first introduced guy said. "yes?" the lady whom we have just met said.
"Would you like some matches, they are very nice, I have twelve packs and I don't even need them, LOL!"
"No," the lady replied.
"Oh, well, is there anything I could do to perhaps make you talk to me some more?" first guy remarked.
"Probably, some are bad some are good, but if you kill my husband I will talk to you and do much more besides" the good lady replied.
The first guy was hesitant but agreed since he was stupid and was the type of guy who bought twelve packs of matches for no reason.
"Where may I find this man" the first guy replied?
"come with me" the lady replied.
They drove back to her house and sure enough her husabnd was there. They opened the door and walked into the hallway.
"guy!" the lady shouted out.
First guy span around but he was the only guy there.
"Why are you shouting at me lady?" first guy asked.
"My husband is called guy, I wasn't talking to you, you're the match selling assasin guy, not my good for nothing crazy husband black-belt made eye lunatic husband guy"
"I see" said the first guy who I guess is our main character, funny how these things turn out isn't it?
The answer to the above question is of course "no" but let us continue:
"Who is this man, he smells of cabbage and is holding twelve packs of matches why is he in our house lady?" said husband guy
I wish you wouldn't call me lady, I'm your wife" said the lady.
"Right, anyway, who the fuck is it?" said husband guy..
"He's here to kill you, he's the match assasin" said the lady.
"yes, I'm here to kill you," said first guy.
"Well then, we had better enter mortal combat so I can rip your eyes out and feed them to Terry my pet terrapin before the horse racing comes on. I've got a red hot tip, a sure fire winner"
"you have a red hot tip, you should get that checked out by a doctor or something, well no point now because I'm about to kill you and your life will be over and no more walking or breathing or tipping you wil be doing husband of this lady I just met" said first guy
"whatever, let us fight"
"It was then that they entered mortal combat. Terry looked on from his bowl, the lady stepped back and started to clap and giggle and the first guy lept forward with matchboxes in hand and they engaged in combat"
Within seconds the first guy was on the floor with a broken arm, a fractured rib and a dislocated nose. In agony and in his final moments an idea struck him. Struck him like a match being struck against a wall. It was clear, the matches were his way out. Allready strewn across the floor and with guy the homocidal maniac looming with a banister he reached out with his one good arm and took a match from a packet and struck for all it's worth. the whole packet set ablaze in an instant and the first guy threw them skywards towards homocidal husband guy's face...
In the moment ot reckoning when all hope seems to have faded we sometimes find that luck has a meaning.
Usually, its bad luck.
This was one of those times.
The burning match box fell short and started it's fateful journey downwards, on to the head of first guy it landed setting his hair on fire. Homocidal maniac husband guy cackled, the lady gasped, first guy yelped and Terry the terrapin continued being a terrapin.
It was then moments later that husband guy beat first guy to death with the bannister.
The end.
The first guy to that particular answer replied "I'll take em!"
And the guy who came after the first guy who we have allready met and who has spoken on more than one occasion thus far said "right, that'll be one pound and twenty pence, please," "no problem" said the first man.
The guy who had just bought twelve packs of matches then went outside of the shop and he saw there in the street a woman with long flowing blonde hair and a favourable behind. "good lady, good lady!" the first introduced guy said. "yes?" the lady whom we have just met said.
"Would you like some matches, they are very nice, I have twelve packs and I don't even need them, LOL!"
"No," the lady replied.
"Oh, well, is there anything I could do to perhaps make you talk to me some more?" first guy remarked.
"Probably, some are bad some are good, but if you kill my husband I will talk to you and do much more besides" the good lady replied.
The first guy was hesitant but agreed since he was stupid and was the type of guy who bought twelve packs of matches for no reason.
"Where may I find this man" the first guy replied?
"come with me" the lady replied.
They drove back to her house and sure enough her husabnd was there. They opened the door and walked into the hallway.
"guy!" the lady shouted out.
First guy span around but he was the only guy there.
"Why are you shouting at me lady?" first guy asked.
"My husband is called guy, I wasn't talking to you, you're the match selling assasin guy, not my good for nothing crazy husband black-belt made eye lunatic husband guy"
"I see" said the first guy who I guess is our main character, funny how these things turn out isn't it?
The answer to the above question is of course "no" but let us continue:
"Who is this man, he smells of cabbage and is holding twelve packs of matches why is he in our house lady?" said husband guy
I wish you wouldn't call me lady, I'm your wife" said the lady.
"Right, anyway, who the fuck is it?" said husband guy..
"He's here to kill you, he's the match assasin" said the lady.
"yes, I'm here to kill you," said first guy.
"Well then, we had better enter mortal combat so I can rip your eyes out and feed them to Terry my pet terrapin before the horse racing comes on. I've got a red hot tip, a sure fire winner"
"you have a red hot tip, you should get that checked out by a doctor or something, well no point now because I'm about to kill you and your life will be over and no more walking or breathing or tipping you wil be doing husband of this lady I just met" said first guy
"whatever, let us fight"
"It was then that they entered mortal combat. Terry looked on from his bowl, the lady stepped back and started to clap and giggle and the first guy lept forward with matchboxes in hand and they engaged in combat"
Within seconds the first guy was on the floor with a broken arm, a fractured rib and a dislocated nose. In agony and in his final moments an idea struck him. Struck him like a match being struck against a wall. It was clear, the matches were his way out. Allready strewn across the floor and with guy the homocidal maniac looming with a banister he reached out with his one good arm and took a match from a packet and struck for all it's worth. the whole packet set ablaze in an instant and the first guy threw them skywards towards homocidal husband guy's face...
In the moment ot reckoning when all hope seems to have faded we sometimes find that luck has a meaning.
Usually, its bad luck.
This was one of those times.
The burning match box fell short and started it's fateful journey downwards, on to the head of first guy it landed setting his hair on fire. Homocidal maniac husband guy cackled, the lady gasped, first guy yelped and Terry the terrapin continued being a terrapin.
It was then moments later that husband guy beat first guy to death with the bannister.
The end.
