Donkey Kong's fear of ice is reaching ridiculous levels

[CaptainWacky]

He's now severely handicapped by his phobia of ice. He's actually scared of water now, because it has the POTENTIAL to become ice. Even though he lives in the fucking jungle, he won't go out if it's raining in case the water "magically turns to ice." He won't even go out if it looks like it might rain, or if he's had a dream where it rained. And naturally he's not showering or bathing now. Diddy doesn't even visit him anymore because he stinks so bad. He's fucking losing his mind and it's a sad end to a once proud gorilla.

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

This is making me cry -- if I can't have Santa Claus AT LEAST LET ME HOLD ON TO DONKEY KONG!

 

[CaptainWacky]

He's not answering his phone anymore.

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

SEND IN THE KOOPA TROOPAS TO RESCUE HIM!

 

[CaptainWacky]

He throws barrels when anyone gets close to his hut.

 

[headvoid]

A GORILLA IN A GORILLA SUIT

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

[YOUTUBE]9_EyXPs2_Jk[/YOUTUBE]

 

[Dr Dave]

He needs an intervention.

 

[CaptainWacky]

Donkey Kong's shack was found empty, with a note on a barrel reading "gone to escape the ice" found smashed outside.

 

[Hambil]

I thought I would add rep to your original post, but then I stopped and decided to just add this comment, because the post was just to beautiful to disfigure.

 

[Cassie]

Maybe he's really in rehab.

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

I think WACKY KILLED HIM, but since technically DK wasn't a Mine Fielder, Wacky has to COVER HIS TRACKS ON THIS ONE BOYO.

 

[Dr Dave]

That Wacky and his murdering!

 

[CaptainWacky]

I'd never hurt Donkey Kong.

Diddy, on the other hand...

 

[Dr Dave]

What did he do to you?

 

[Hambil]

Maybe he's really in rehab.

DK wouldn't go to rehab, he said no, no, no.
...
...
(still too soon?)

 

[Dr Dave]

Not really, no.

 

[CaptainWacky]

What DIDDYN'T (didn't) he do...