Donovan's Bitches

[headvoid]

I had a weird experience on twitter.

Donovan followed me recently and within MINUTES I had about 10 new followers. To give some context this almost doubled the amount of followers I have.

They are were similar in the following way:

1. They were all pretty (or had pictures that had that selfie, profile style that was a little pouty and showed a lot of skin.
2. They all have tweets that purport to tell you how you can lose weight by drinking raw coffee beans or licking bark or something
3. They have limited followers but seem to be very active!

I can only assume these are Donovan's "ladies" that follow him round wherever he goes. They really don't seem his type but what do I know?

 

[Donovan]

Weird. Sorry about that, my pimp hand has been a little lax lately and them girls be getting ideas they can do some shit without permission.

Actually I have no idea why that would happen. I'm barely active on twitter and only wound up there following some link from a news story or something. Then it bounced me to a page that said I might know you and I clicked it. I wonder if my twitter has some kind of robot virus or something.

 

[jack]

You like bark licking girls is more likely.

 

[Mirah]

I thought this said, "Little Pony" for a second.

1. They were all pretty (or had pictures that had that selfie, profile style that was a little pouty and showed a lot of skin.

That just shows what was on your mind. [/Gear]

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

Donovan is actually Howie Mandel. Those are all his ladies from Deal Or No Deal. They have a lot more time on their hands these days.

 

[Cassie]

Donovan has an army of Twitter spambots waiting to pounce.

 

[CaptainWacky]

I think like 95% of Twitter is robots by now. Stephen Fry's actually been dead for years.

 

[Donovan]

Robot bitches screw hydraulically. Lefty Lucy is righteous tight.

 

[jack]

and OMG! talk about torque!

 

[Donovan]

Insert male plug into female receptacle. Thrust. Repeat.

 

[CaptainWacky]

I'm so turned on right now.

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

Lick my shiny metal ass?