Troll Kingdom
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Don't cry
- Thread starter Pryce
- Start date
The Dork Lord
Whipping Boy
You too?
Loktar
Internet God and Defender of Park Benches
This pic lies. Babies love to be shaken. They stop crying and begin to smile.
Indeed. Thats why I stick my babies in the blender and hit shake.
Kitty
Sinless and Purrfect
Do that to Falcy Girl's baby!
Loktar
Internet God and Defender of Park Benches
Daddy loves his widdle mugentard offspring too much.
Dark Pickle
Fucked Off
After shaking your baby, make sure to blow plenty pot smoke in his/her face!
SHAKE N BAKE!
SHAKE N BAKE!
Loktar
Internet God and Defender of Park Benches
I get better results coating my baby with breadcrumbs and tossing the baby in the oven.
Dark Pickle
Fucked Off
There's more than one way to skin a cat...
Loktar
Internet God and Defender of Park Benches
Dark Pickle
Fucked Off
6 Ways to Skin a Cat:
•The Direct Approach
Kill Cat. Make incision from throat to rump. Peel.
Corollary: That shirt looks very becoming on you, and if I were on you I’d be coming too.*
•The Indirect Approach
Obtain kitten. Raise kitten into cat. Provide food, toys, veterinary assistance, attention, love. Wait until cat dies. Make incision from throat to rump. Peel.
Corollary: Let her make the first move. Implode.
•The Athletic Approach
Kill cat with golf club. Make incision from throat to rump. Peel. Gut cat. Take catgut and make tennis racket. Remove head of cat. Use as tennis ball.
Corollary: (flexing) Have you seen the weightroom? Nevermind, I’ll find it.
•The Gourmet Approach
Purchase healthy purebred Persian. Smother with 10M (molar) Trichloromethane (chloroform). Boil 10 gallons water. Boil Persian in water for 8 hours. Make incision from throat to rump. Peel. Have skin made into table runner/trivet. Boil cat into stew with lentils and long-grain rice. Serve with butter-glazed sweetrolls on table trimmed with cat skin. An optional New Year’s Day meal. Cat is the new pork.
Corollary: You are my sun, moon, and stars. You are my breath, sight, and life. Each taste, each touch, is nothing compared to the gift that is you. I would gladly sacrifice my goals, aspirations and soul just to get into your pants… shit!
•The Humane Approach
Find feral cat with feline HIV or feline leukemia. Have cat put down. Send cat to taxidermist. Taxidermist will make incision from throat to rump. Peel.
Corollary: Set promiscuous girl up with horny friend. She’ll get stuffed.
•The Pacifist Anarchist Approach
Bury cat up to neck in backyard. Fire up riding lawnmower. Mow backyard. Get posthole digger. Remove cat. Make incision from throat to rump. Gut cat. Fill cavity with black powder. Light cat’s tail. Throw at nearest governmental building.
Corollary: Club her on the head and drag her by her hair into your apartment cave.
*does not work well.
•The Direct Approach
Kill Cat. Make incision from throat to rump. Peel.
Corollary: That shirt looks very becoming on you, and if I were on you I’d be coming too.*
•The Indirect Approach
Obtain kitten. Raise kitten into cat. Provide food, toys, veterinary assistance, attention, love. Wait until cat dies. Make incision from throat to rump. Peel.
Corollary: Let her make the first move. Implode.
•The Athletic Approach
Kill cat with golf club. Make incision from throat to rump. Peel. Gut cat. Take catgut and make tennis racket. Remove head of cat. Use as tennis ball.
Corollary: (flexing) Have you seen the weightroom? Nevermind, I’ll find it.
•The Gourmet Approach
Purchase healthy purebred Persian. Smother with 10M (molar) Trichloromethane (chloroform). Boil 10 gallons water. Boil Persian in water for 8 hours. Make incision from throat to rump. Peel. Have skin made into table runner/trivet. Boil cat into stew with lentils and long-grain rice. Serve with butter-glazed sweetrolls on table trimmed with cat skin. An optional New Year’s Day meal. Cat is the new pork.
Corollary: You are my sun, moon, and stars. You are my breath, sight, and life. Each taste, each touch, is nothing compared to the gift that is you. I would gladly sacrifice my goals, aspirations and soul just to get into your pants… shit!
•The Humane Approach
Find feral cat with feline HIV or feline leukemia. Have cat put down. Send cat to taxidermist. Taxidermist will make incision from throat to rump. Peel.
Corollary: Set promiscuous girl up with horny friend. She’ll get stuffed.
•The Pacifist Anarchist Approach
Bury cat up to neck in backyard. Fire up riding lawnmower. Mow backyard. Get posthole digger. Remove cat. Make incision from throat to rump. Gut cat. Fill cavity with black powder. Light cat’s tail. Throw at nearest governmental building.
Corollary: Club her on the head and drag her by her hair into your apartment cave.
*does not work well.
Dark Pickle
Fucked Off
NOTE: Dark Pickle does not endorse the killing and skinning of cats!
Loktar
Internet God and Defender of Park Benches
NOTE: Loktar is semi-erect from reading DL's previous post.
Dark Pickle
Fucked Off
HAWT?
