Buttmunkey
Fletcher... Felcher... WHATEVER!!
Do you ever wake up in the morning thinking, "Mr. Felcher DualHunter's agitprop machine is running at full throttle?" Well, so do I. Perhaps before going on, I should describe Mr. DualHunter to you. Mr. DualHunter is pea-brained, snippy, and satanic. Furthermore, he yearns to confiscate other people's rightful earnings.
Mr. DualHunter's grand plan is to shower pigheaded beguilers with undeserved encomia. I'm sure Mao Tse Tung would approve. In any case, idle hands are the devil's tools. That's why Mr. DualHunter spends his leisure time devising ever more witless ways to annihilate a person's personality, individuality, will, and character. This may be a foregone conclusion, but the really interesting thing about all this is not that ignorance of the law does not excuse him from the consequences of violating it. The interesting thing is that he thinks I'm trying to say that a book of Mr. DualHunter's writings would be a good addition to the Bible. Wait! I just heard something. Oh, never mind; it's just the sound of the point zooming way over Mr. DualHunter's head.
As a dynamic, historical current, demagogism has taken many different forms and has evolved dramatically in a variety of ways. That said, let me continue. From what I know of Mr. DualHunter's taradiddles, he is saying essentially three things:
Anyone who disagrees with him is ultimately stingy.
Mediocrity is a worthwhile goal.
Newspapers should report only on items he agrees with.
Obviously, all three of these are sincerely materialistic. Do you understand the implications of what I have been telling you? Are you awake? Then you probably realize that Mr. DualHunter and I disagree about our civic duties. I feel that we must do our utmost to pave the way for people of every sex, race, and socioeconomic status to fulfill their own spiritual destiny as expeditiously as possible. Mr. DualHunter, on the other hand, believes that the world's salvation comes from whims, irrationality, and delusions.
Mr. DualHunter wants to destabilize the already volatile social fabric that he purportedly aims to save. It gets better: He believes that the average working-class person can't see through his chicanery. I guess no one's ever told him that he doesn't use words for communication or for exchanging information. He uses them to disarm, to hypnotize, to mislead, and to deceive. By framing the question in this way, we see that he is absolutely determined to believe that it is his moral imperative to trick academics into abandoning the principles of scientific inquiry, and he's not about to let facts or reason get in his way. If one needs a sign that Mr. DualHunter is insane, then consider that someone has been giving his brain a very thorough washing, and now Mr. DualHunter is trying to do the same to us. I have given this issue a great deal of thought, and I now have a strong conviction that he is the picture of the insane person on the street, babbling to a tree, a wall, or a cloud, which cannot and does not respond to his witticisms.
I no longer believe that trends like family breakdown, promiscuity, and violence are random events. Not only are they explicitly glorified and promoted by Mr. DualHunter's doctrinaire propositions, but I recently heard him tell a bunch of people that he can change his sophomoric ways. I can't adequately describe my first reaction to this notion; I simply don't know how to represent uncontrollable laughter in text. Lest I forget to mention this later, Mr. DualHunter's favorite tactic is known as "deceiving with the truth". The idea behind this tactic is that he wins our trust by revealing the truth but leaving some of it out. This makes us less likely to reinforce what is best in people. Mr. DualHunter's accomplices all look like Mr. DualHunter, think like Mr. DualHunter, act like Mr. DualHunter, and obstruct things, just like Mr. DualHunter does. And all this in the name of -- let me see if I can get their propaganda straight -- brotherhood and service. Ha! I'll give you an example of this, based on my own experience. As you know, he has been trying to convince us that merit is adequately measured by his methods and qualifications. This pathetic attempt to drag men out of their beds in the dead of night and castrate them deserves no comment other than to say that if my memory serves me correctly, Mr. DualHunter is right about one thing, namely that fear is what motivates us. Fear of what it means when lubricious, chthonic humanity-haters lay the foundation for some serious mischief. Fear of what it says about our society when we teach our children that society is screaming for Mr. DualHunter's belief systems. And fear of frowzy, crotchety schmucks like Mr. DualHunter who fund a vast web of disagreeable bottom-feeders, lousy sods, and pugnacious slackers.
From a public-policy perspective, if it weren't for jejune, wicked crooks, Mr. DualHunter would have no friends. My message is clear: He yields to the mammalian desire to assert individuality by attracting attention. Unfortunately, for Mr. DualHunter, "attract attention" usually implies "turn parvenus loose against us good citizens". Look at it from my point of view: He says that he should be a given a direct pipeline to the National Treasury. You know, he can lie as much as he wants but he can't change the facts. If he could, he'd unquestionably prevent anyone from hearing that like a verbal magician, he knows how to lie without appearing to be lying, how to bury secrets in mountains of garbage-speak.
Must it be explained to Mr. DualHunter that some of his former bedfellows say they were willing to help him sugarcoat the past and dispense false optimism for the future because Mr. DualHunter convinced them that they were part of a historic mission to save the world from a vile global conspiracy -- a belief they now reject as malign? Because Mr. DualHunter obviously doesn't realize that if one accepts the framework I've laid out here, it follows that we could opt to sit back and let Mr. DualHunter discredit legitimate voices in the ruffianism debate. Most people, however, would argue that the cost in people's lives and self-esteem is an extremely high price to pay for such inaction on our part. He frequently avers his support of democracy and his love of freedom. But one need only look at what he is doing -- as opposed to what he is saying -- to understand his true aims.
Others have stated it much more eloquently than I, but Mr. DualHunter says that he can scare us by using big words like "protobasidiomycetous". You know, I don't think I have heard a less factually based statement in my entire life. Rather than persuade you myself that his toadies have an almost identical mentality, as if they all had been cloned from a single condescending prototype, I decided to gather input from various independent observers: teachers, farmers, shopkeepers, doctors, and so forth. I've tried to get balanced and reasonably accurate views about his stroppy ploys. For instance, a policeman I interviewed pointed out how if Mr. DualHunter had lived the short, sickly, miserable life of a chattel serf in the ages "before technocracy" he wouldn't be so keen to add insult to injury. Maybe he'd even begin to realize that I unequivocally don't believe that it's okay for him to indulge his every whim and lust without regard for anyone else or for society as a whole. So when Mr. DualHunter says that that's what I believe, I see how little he understands my position.
Honor means nothing to Mr. DualHunter. Principles mean nothing to Mr. DualHunter. All he cares about is how best to develop a credible pretext to forcibly silence his opponents. The poisonous wine of extremism had been distilled long before he entered the scene. Mr. DualHunter is merely the agent decanting the poisonous fluid from its bottle into the jug that is world humanity. Irrespective of one's feelings on the subject, only through education can individuals gain the independent tools they need to call a spade a spade. But the first step is to acknowledge that prudence is no vice. Cowardice -- especially Mr. DualHunter's directionless form of it -- is.
Throughout human history, mischievous adolescents have always been dour. So it should come as no surprise that this is not Nazi Germany or Soviet Russia, where the state would be eager to put the prisoners in charge of running the prison. Not yet, at least. But if we don't raise issues, as opposed to guns or knives, right now, then Mr. DualHunter's convictions will soon start to metastasize until they shrink the so-called marketplace of ideas down to convenience-store size. In summary, it is my prayer that people everywhere will join me in my quest to feed the starving, house the homeless, cure the sick, and still find wonder and awe in the sunrise and the moonlight.
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Mr. DualHunter's grand plan is to shower pigheaded beguilers with undeserved encomia. I'm sure Mao Tse Tung would approve. In any case, idle hands are the devil's tools. That's why Mr. DualHunter spends his leisure time devising ever more witless ways to annihilate a person's personality, individuality, will, and character. This may be a foregone conclusion, but the really interesting thing about all this is not that ignorance of the law does not excuse him from the consequences of violating it. The interesting thing is that he thinks I'm trying to say that a book of Mr. DualHunter's writings would be a good addition to the Bible. Wait! I just heard something. Oh, never mind; it's just the sound of the point zooming way over Mr. DualHunter's head.
As a dynamic, historical current, demagogism has taken many different forms and has evolved dramatically in a variety of ways. That said, let me continue. From what I know of Mr. DualHunter's taradiddles, he is saying essentially three things:
Anyone who disagrees with him is ultimately stingy.
Mediocrity is a worthwhile goal.
Newspapers should report only on items he agrees with.
Obviously, all three of these are sincerely materialistic. Do you understand the implications of what I have been telling you? Are you awake? Then you probably realize that Mr. DualHunter and I disagree about our civic duties. I feel that we must do our utmost to pave the way for people of every sex, race, and socioeconomic status to fulfill their own spiritual destiny as expeditiously as possible. Mr. DualHunter, on the other hand, believes that the world's salvation comes from whims, irrationality, and delusions.
Mr. DualHunter wants to destabilize the already volatile social fabric that he purportedly aims to save. It gets better: He believes that the average working-class person can't see through his chicanery. I guess no one's ever told him that he doesn't use words for communication or for exchanging information. He uses them to disarm, to hypnotize, to mislead, and to deceive. By framing the question in this way, we see that he is absolutely determined to believe that it is his moral imperative to trick academics into abandoning the principles of scientific inquiry, and he's not about to let facts or reason get in his way. If one needs a sign that Mr. DualHunter is insane, then consider that someone has been giving his brain a very thorough washing, and now Mr. DualHunter is trying to do the same to us. I have given this issue a great deal of thought, and I now have a strong conviction that he is the picture of the insane person on the street, babbling to a tree, a wall, or a cloud, which cannot and does not respond to his witticisms.
I no longer believe that trends like family breakdown, promiscuity, and violence are random events. Not only are they explicitly glorified and promoted by Mr. DualHunter's doctrinaire propositions, but I recently heard him tell a bunch of people that he can change his sophomoric ways. I can't adequately describe my first reaction to this notion; I simply don't know how to represent uncontrollable laughter in text. Lest I forget to mention this later, Mr. DualHunter's favorite tactic is known as "deceiving with the truth". The idea behind this tactic is that he wins our trust by revealing the truth but leaving some of it out. This makes us less likely to reinforce what is best in people. Mr. DualHunter's accomplices all look like Mr. DualHunter, think like Mr. DualHunter, act like Mr. DualHunter, and obstruct things, just like Mr. DualHunter does. And all this in the name of -- let me see if I can get their propaganda straight -- brotherhood and service. Ha! I'll give you an example of this, based on my own experience. As you know, he has been trying to convince us that merit is adequately measured by his methods and qualifications. This pathetic attempt to drag men out of their beds in the dead of night and castrate them deserves no comment other than to say that if my memory serves me correctly, Mr. DualHunter is right about one thing, namely that fear is what motivates us. Fear of what it means when lubricious, chthonic humanity-haters lay the foundation for some serious mischief. Fear of what it says about our society when we teach our children that society is screaming for Mr. DualHunter's belief systems. And fear of frowzy, crotchety schmucks like Mr. DualHunter who fund a vast web of disagreeable bottom-feeders, lousy sods, and pugnacious slackers.
From a public-policy perspective, if it weren't for jejune, wicked crooks, Mr. DualHunter would have no friends. My message is clear: He yields to the mammalian desire to assert individuality by attracting attention. Unfortunately, for Mr. DualHunter, "attract attention" usually implies "turn parvenus loose against us good citizens". Look at it from my point of view: He says that he should be a given a direct pipeline to the National Treasury. You know, he can lie as much as he wants but he can't change the facts. If he could, he'd unquestionably prevent anyone from hearing that like a verbal magician, he knows how to lie without appearing to be lying, how to bury secrets in mountains of garbage-speak.
Must it be explained to Mr. DualHunter that some of his former bedfellows say they were willing to help him sugarcoat the past and dispense false optimism for the future because Mr. DualHunter convinced them that they were part of a historic mission to save the world from a vile global conspiracy -- a belief they now reject as malign? Because Mr. DualHunter obviously doesn't realize that if one accepts the framework I've laid out here, it follows that we could opt to sit back and let Mr. DualHunter discredit legitimate voices in the ruffianism debate. Most people, however, would argue that the cost in people's lives and self-esteem is an extremely high price to pay for such inaction on our part. He frequently avers his support of democracy and his love of freedom. But one need only look at what he is doing -- as opposed to what he is saying -- to understand his true aims.
Others have stated it much more eloquently than I, but Mr. DualHunter says that he can scare us by using big words like "protobasidiomycetous". You know, I don't think I have heard a less factually based statement in my entire life. Rather than persuade you myself that his toadies have an almost identical mentality, as if they all had been cloned from a single condescending prototype, I decided to gather input from various independent observers: teachers, farmers, shopkeepers, doctors, and so forth. I've tried to get balanced and reasonably accurate views about his stroppy ploys. For instance, a policeman I interviewed pointed out how if Mr. DualHunter had lived the short, sickly, miserable life of a chattel serf in the ages "before technocracy" he wouldn't be so keen to add insult to injury. Maybe he'd even begin to realize that I unequivocally don't believe that it's okay for him to indulge his every whim and lust without regard for anyone else or for society as a whole. So when Mr. DualHunter says that that's what I believe, I see how little he understands my position.
Honor means nothing to Mr. DualHunter. Principles mean nothing to Mr. DualHunter. All he cares about is how best to develop a credible pretext to forcibly silence his opponents. The poisonous wine of extremism had been distilled long before he entered the scene. Mr. DualHunter is merely the agent decanting the poisonous fluid from its bottle into the jug that is world humanity. Irrespective of one's feelings on the subject, only through education can individuals gain the independent tools they need to call a spade a spade. But the first step is to acknowledge that prudence is no vice. Cowardice -- especially Mr. DualHunter's directionless form of it -- is.
Throughout human history, mischievous adolescents have always been dour. So it should come as no surprise that this is not Nazi Germany or Soviet Russia, where the state would be eager to put the prisoners in charge of running the prison. Not yet, at least. But if we don't raise issues, as opposed to guns or knives, right now, then Mr. DualHunter's convictions will soon start to metastasize until they shrink the so-called marketplace of ideas down to convenience-store size. In summary, it is my prayer that people everywhere will join me in my quest to feed the starving, house the homeless, cure the sick, and still find wonder and awe in the sunrise and the moonlight.
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