Man this place is still here, good to see. I always said you fucks take no shit and it bears me out that you are all stil here after lo these meany years.
What you ask have I been doing and where have I been. Welp, long story is short I been in the hospital and did some time in jail. Only one night though (in jail I mean), I'm not so fucken criminal scumbag or something. It all started this one night when my buddie Carpenter came by the house while I was working on my dirtbike. Yes, you might remember I have said I will one day buy a Harly but dudes that day is not yet come. So I must make do with what I have which is a crappy fucken Jap dirtbike not worth shit but at least it goes and thats what matters. I don't even have a car well I can drive my gram's when I have to but she is such a fucken bitch about it even though she hardly never drives it herself. Anyway fucken doosh Carpenter starts in about how pussy it is to ride around my fucken bakyard like a fag because the dirtbike isnt street legil and I thought you know, he is right. As you will see I shouldn't of listened.
I took off down Westmont towards downtown and was feelin fine even though the stupid piece of shit will only do 30 if I gun it enough. BUt still it beats walkin dudes and I could see myself on a bad fucken Harly one day doin the same thing and owning all bitches I see. This is wehn it all went bad my friends because I nelgected to see the fucken COP pull out of the dead end and start followen me until he put his fucken lights on. So I figured I would pull over and face the music but then when I realized no way did I have no money for no fucken ticket I remembered I was on a dirtbike which means the fucker can ride on the dirt which a cop car cannot. So I leaned over to go faster until I got near the scrub of woods near the river and swerved off the street and onto the sidewalk ready to make my escape. Welp, turns out that was my second big mistake of the day because when I hit the curb on that piece of shit crap Jap dirtbike I went down dudes, hard as a cock on midnight (HAHA HA HA) and that fucken bike came down on top of me like a fat bitch in heat and crushed right down on my fucken ankle, ripping the goddam fucken tendon and let me tell you nothing you have felt has ever hurt that much. I laid there trapped under my fucken piece of shit screamin and hollerin while those fucken cops screached to the stop and got out telling me to get up. I told them go fuck yourselves I'm fucken hurt and I can't get up (I felt just like that old bag on TV) but the stupid fucken assholes would not believe me until they pulled the bike off my leg and pulled me to my feet. Dudes, I am not afraid to say I screamed like a girl it hurt so much. Then one fucken cop says to the other 'Bill I think maybe this kid really is hurt' and I say 'no shit you fucken asshole cop' and all kinds of other crap and they didn't even hit me or do shit because they knew I was in pain.
So get this dudes they take me to Altoona Hopistal which for fuck's sake is where I fucken WORK (in the cafateria) and can you beat that for shit. So the fucken doctors make me wait for fucken hours and this goddam cunt cop keeps telling them 'he's in police custody' (like I'm gonna fucken get up and run right assoles) and the doctors finally supposably fix me up and shit but it turns out I can't be on my feet for two weeks so there goes my fucken job right there. What a fucken pisser that I was right there but lose my job anyway. Just goes to show you what is what I guess.
So the cops have me call home which means my gram and at this point its fucken two in the morning and no way is the old lady gonna be up that late and she wouldnt hear the phone either. But my FUCKEN FUCKHEAD LITTLE ASSHOLE BROTHER would and he just let it ring and ring the cunt. So the police say I am of age so I have to come back to the cop shop and stay there until morning when they will take me home. I was in a fucken cell dudes and whats weird is that it didn't even have bars just a locked door but what's really fucked up is the metal toilet right next to your bed. Dudes I don't know about you but when I take a shit I can smell up two counties so there is the number one reason I will never go to fucken jail for real because no way am I spendin the rest of my life smellin my own shit in the toilet right next to my bed.
Anyway all that happened was they gave me a fine and a warning and my leg got better only I still limp a little and it hurts sometimes but that shall pass as they say. I did end up losing my fucken cafateria job at the hospital but you know that job sucked anyway and there werent even any bitches working there so you didn't even have nothing good to look at during the shift. (Nurses are fucken dogs dude believe you me don't believe everything you see on fucken TV)
So I got a new job at the Auto Parts store which I thought would be cool but is actually kind of sucks because I don't get shit for a discount and anyway I have no car or bike to buy parts for at this time. But I get my weekend nights off and no more overnight shifts like at the hospital which believe me sucked hairy dogs. And my gram let me and my brother get cabel again so now we once more have internet so I thought I'd come by and say what's up dudes and bitches. From what I can gather you now have strippers here and that is cool as hell because I know some strippers and they are the best bitches you will ever meet. My buddie Karl is married to a stripper and so what if she gets fucken naked every night no way will you ever fuck her so just forget it because Karl would fucken beat you so hard till you die. Which is why I always say LOOK BUT DONT TOUCH DUDES HA HA HAHAHAA
So what is up? Is Miss Manners (jenna) still around? I had lunch with her while back, she is one cool bitch. Hi if she's still here.
What you ask have I been doing and where have I been. Welp, long story is short I been in the hospital and did some time in jail. Only one night though (in jail I mean), I'm not so fucken criminal scumbag or something. It all started this one night when my buddie Carpenter came by the house while I was working on my dirtbike. Yes, you might remember I have said I will one day buy a Harly but dudes that day is not yet come. So I must make do with what I have which is a crappy fucken Jap dirtbike not worth shit but at least it goes and thats what matters. I don't even have a car well I can drive my gram's when I have to but she is such a fucken bitch about it even though she hardly never drives it herself. Anyway fucken doosh Carpenter starts in about how pussy it is to ride around my fucken bakyard like a fag because the dirtbike isnt street legil and I thought you know, he is right. As you will see I shouldn't of listened.
I took off down Westmont towards downtown and was feelin fine even though the stupid piece of shit will only do 30 if I gun it enough. BUt still it beats walkin dudes and I could see myself on a bad fucken Harly one day doin the same thing and owning all bitches I see. This is wehn it all went bad my friends because I nelgected to see the fucken COP pull out of the dead end and start followen me until he put his fucken lights on. So I figured I would pull over and face the music but then when I realized no way did I have no money for no fucken ticket I remembered I was on a dirtbike which means the fucker can ride on the dirt which a cop car cannot. So I leaned over to go faster until I got near the scrub of woods near the river and swerved off the street and onto the sidewalk ready to make my escape. Welp, turns out that was my second big mistake of the day because when I hit the curb on that piece of shit crap Jap dirtbike I went down dudes, hard as a cock on midnight (HAHA HA HA) and that fucken bike came down on top of me like a fat bitch in heat and crushed right down on my fucken ankle, ripping the goddam fucken tendon and let me tell you nothing you have felt has ever hurt that much. I laid there trapped under my fucken piece of shit screamin and hollerin while those fucken cops screached to the stop and got out telling me to get up. I told them go fuck yourselves I'm fucken hurt and I can't get up (I felt just like that old bag on TV) but the stupid fucken assholes would not believe me until they pulled the bike off my leg and pulled me to my feet. Dudes, I am not afraid to say I screamed like a girl it hurt so much. Then one fucken cop says to the other 'Bill I think maybe this kid really is hurt' and I say 'no shit you fucken asshole cop' and all kinds of other crap and they didn't even hit me or do shit because they knew I was in pain.
So get this dudes they take me to Altoona Hopistal which for fuck's sake is where I fucken WORK (in the cafateria) and can you beat that for shit. So the fucken doctors make me wait for fucken hours and this goddam cunt cop keeps telling them 'he's in police custody' (like I'm gonna fucken get up and run right assoles) and the doctors finally supposably fix me up and shit but it turns out I can't be on my feet for two weeks so there goes my fucken job right there. What a fucken pisser that I was right there but lose my job anyway. Just goes to show you what is what I guess.
So the cops have me call home which means my gram and at this point its fucken two in the morning and no way is the old lady gonna be up that late and she wouldnt hear the phone either. But my FUCKEN FUCKHEAD LITTLE ASSHOLE BROTHER would and he just let it ring and ring the cunt. So the police say I am of age so I have to come back to the cop shop and stay there until morning when they will take me home. I was in a fucken cell dudes and whats weird is that it didn't even have bars just a locked door but what's really fucked up is the metal toilet right next to your bed. Dudes I don't know about you but when I take a shit I can smell up two counties so there is the number one reason I will never go to fucken jail for real because no way am I spendin the rest of my life smellin my own shit in the toilet right next to my bed.
Anyway all that happened was they gave me a fine and a warning and my leg got better only I still limp a little and it hurts sometimes but that shall pass as they say. I did end up losing my fucken cafateria job at the hospital but you know that job sucked anyway and there werent even any bitches working there so you didn't even have nothing good to look at during the shift. (Nurses are fucken dogs dude believe you me don't believe everything you see on fucken TV)
So I got a new job at the Auto Parts store which I thought would be cool but is actually kind of sucks because I don't get shit for a discount and anyway I have no car or bike to buy parts for at this time. But I get my weekend nights off and no more overnight shifts like at the hospital which believe me sucked hairy dogs. And my gram let me and my brother get cabel again so now we once more have internet so I thought I'd come by and say what's up dudes and bitches. From what I can gather you now have strippers here and that is cool as hell because I know some strippers and they are the best bitches you will ever meet. My buddie Karl is married to a stripper and so what if she gets fucken naked every night no way will you ever fuck her so just forget it because Karl would fucken beat you so hard till you die. Which is why I always say LOOK BUT DONT TOUCH DUDES HA HA HAHAHAA
So what is up? Is Miss Manners (jenna) still around? I had lunch with her while back, she is one cool bitch. Hi if she's still here.
