English people, what does "Oww, landed on me 'arris!" mean?

[CaptainWacky]

What does this phrase which every English person uses every day mean and why do all of you find it so endlessly amusing?

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

I thought if one added "guv'nah" to the end of it, it was a pronouncement that one is being anally penetrated.

 

[whisky]

It means you fall on your bum

 

[Filthy Whore]

What about ' April in Paris ' = Harris = Arris = Aristotle = Bottle = Bottle & Glass = A$se.... Heard this used by the Legend that is the Duke of Upminster himself, Mr Ian Dury. A hero of mine ( & many others ) and an expressive genius when it comes to the use of Cockney Rhyming Slang. Ian was being interviewed about his work with the Save the Children charity work in Africa when he commented that " the bugs at night were a pain in the April ", I then researched & discovered the above equation from April to A$se !!! ~ Russ http://www.philbrodieband.com/jokes_rhyming-slang.htm

You crazy Brits.

 

[Fuddlemiff]

Is this coming up repeatedly in the old Doctor Who episodes you're watching?

 

[CaptainWacky]

It's in literally every episode of literally every English tv show ever made. Remember that episode of Only Fools And Horses where every character (even guest star Dame Judi Dench as "Posh Woman") said it at one point? It of course ended with Trigger, the only "'arris" holdout, being asked by Rodney where his broom was and Trigger responding "it went up me 'arris when I fell on it, Dave!" Classic.

 

[Seph]

I hate only fools and horses.

 

[CaptainWacky]

I guess you prefered the classic 'arris joke in Are You Being Served?

"I'm free and, oh no, I just slipped on some ladies bras and landed on me 'arris...and what's that fluffy thing I just felt!?"
"My pussy went up your 'arris!"

 

[Dr Dave]

Good times...

 

[CaptainWacky]

And of course the classic "me 'arries" sketch on the Two Ronnies.

"I want to buy me 'arries!"
"Well, you can't have me 'arries, I need it for sitting on!"
"No, I said MEAT CARRIES. Carriers for meat!"
"Oooooht, that common every day item!"